Becoming a foster parent is a unique and wonderful experience that almost any adult can have. If you want to have a chance to positively influence a child's life and grow as a parent and as a person, know that the process of becoming a foster parent is quite simple. Read this article to find out more.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Start the Application Process
Step 1. Understand what foster care entails
A foster care is, in fact, a very different procedure from adoption: unlike the latter it is temporary and its purpose is to offer support to families who are in difficulty and who for various reasons cannot adequately provide for the care of a minor. It is possible to distinguish two types of foster care:
- Judicial: in this case it is the social services that request the custody of a minor, after having ascertained the objective problems and having made the request to the judicial authorities.
- Consensual: a consensual custody is instead requested by the child's own family.
Step 2. Contact Social Services
In Italy it is the social services that deal with the management of the custody system, obviously under observation of the indications of the judicial authorities. To become a custodial parent, it is therefore necessary to apply to social services, which will assess the suitability of the application.
Step 3. Keep in mind some of the most important characteristics of a good foster parent
A prototype of a perfect parent does not exist. Each case is unique and in its own right. However, there are some qualities that can help build a good foster parent, such as:
- Economic stability and personal maturity
- Be an advocate for children's rights
- Possess the ability to "play as a team" with your family and social workers
Step 4. Remember what you don't need to be a good foster parent
Misunderstandings about this figure are very frequent. Keep the following points in mind:
- You don't have to be married to become a foster parent.
- You don't necessarily have to own a home or live in a home that you own.
- You don't have to be rich.
- You don't necessarily have to have children already.
- You don't have to be young.
- You don't have to stay home to follow your children
Step 5. Apply
To become a custodian, it is necessary to apply to the associations responsible for the matter. It is possible to apply to AIBI (Amici dei Bambini) or to local foster care centers, often managed by the social services of the municipality. You will be asked to take a free training course. Furthermore, in this phase, a knowledge process will be initiated to assess the suitability of the applicant family.
- AIBI is present in 9 Italian regions, with a main office in the province of Milan and several information points throughout Italy.
- The evaluation is carried out through a series of interviews carried out by a team of social workers and psychologists from the municipality.
- In the event that the requesting family already has children, the awareness of the minors will be assessed in a manner compatible with their age.
Step 6. Attend training courses
The AIBI association in fact organizes both individual information meetings and preparation courses lasting two days, to assist families in search of more information to start the foster care process.
- The preparation courses are structured in such a way as to allow families and people who want to approach the reality of foster care to better understand its main aspects. The courses are free and last two days.
- Individual training sessions last 45/60 minutes and are held throughout the week. To make an appointment, you can contact the nearest AIBI office.
Part 2 of 3: Concluding the Application Process
Step 1. Learn to distinguish the different types of foster care
The various cases of foster care are very diversified from each other, both in terms of time and in terms of type. First of all, an important distinction can be made between full-time foster care and part-time foster care:
- In full-time foster care, the minor spends every day with the foster family and lives with them permanently.
- In part-time foster care, however, the minor spends only a few days a week with the foster family and spends the rest of the time with the family of origin.
Step 2. Remember the essential requirements for becoming a good foster parent
Anyone can become a foster parent, as it's always important to remember: you don't need to be wealthy, have a very large house, be married, or have children. Nevertheless, some aspects are very important for the success of a foster care process; among these we can list:
- Having enough space to accommodate a child, both in one's home and in one's existence. Spatial availability is a fundamental prerequisite, but the importance of psychological availability should not be underestimated: reflect and try to understand whether or not you are ready to take on this responsibility.
- Affective capacity and willingness to help the child in his growth process. If you choose to become a foster parent, in fact, you will have to be ready to love the minor who will be in your care and, if you have children, you will have to be ready to treat him like the others, trying to always make him feel at ease and well liked. Do not forget that these minors come from a difficult background: they are not just looking for a home and economic stability, but above all for affection.
- Awareness of the importance of the family of origin: unlike adoption, in fact, the natural family can and must still have an important role in the life of the child.
- Willingness to collaborate with others in the foster care process, whether it is social services, the family of origin, the child himself or other members of your family. Good communication and transparency are fundamental requirements to make a foster care work properly.
Step 3. Keep in mind the maximum term of foster care
A foster care can last a maximum of two years, at the end of which the most suitable path for the child will be evaluated by the competent authorities, which could be adoption or reintegration into the original family. However, there are also shorter types of foster care, which can be medium-term, up to 18 months, or short-term, from 6 to 8 months.
Remember that foster care can be terminated prematurely in various situations, such as in the case of resolution of the problems of the original family (in this case the minor returns to his family), in the event of revocation of parental authority (in this case if the minor is given up for adoption) or in the event of a negative outcome of the integration of the minor in the foster family (in this case a new foster will be sought)
Step 4. Try to inquire first about any problems your child may be suffering from
Since some minors come from a past of sexual and physical abuse, but also mental abuse, it is important to try to find out in advance how to behave in these situations, to make the fostering experience easier for you and for the child himself.
You can always ask for more information to the associations of reference, which could maybe put you in contact with other parents who have lived or are going through similar experiences, so that you can compare and help each other
Part 3 of 3: Welcoming a Child and Being a Good Caring Parent
Step 1. When your foster application is successful, start preparing your home and life to best accommodate the baby who will arrive
Check that your home complies with safety regulations. Always remember that a safe home is essential for your well-being and that of the child.
Step 2. Always keep in mind that foster care is very different from adoption
A foster care, in fact, unlike an adoption is temporary: moreover, the minor will always maintain relations with his or her family of origin, since it must not be forgotten that the main objective of foster care is the reintegration of the child in his context. familiar. Furthermore, in an adoption, the minor becomes in effect the child of the new family which, for this reason, is called to satisfy much more specific requirements of age and family condition.
Step 3. Reflect on the financial situation of your family
True, there are no particularly stringent requirements to be met in order to become a foster parent - you will not have to meet any particular age, race, gender or religion characteristics. Nonetheless, you will need to be able to financially support yourself and your family members. Always keep in mind the financial responsibilities of being a foster parent.
- If the foster family falls into particular income brackets, it is possible to apply to the competent authorities to obtain a family allowance.
- There are also state contributions related to certain types of expenses, such as urgent and urgent medical expenses or school fees.
Step 4. Buy the items you will need in the first few days in advance
You may want to get a pair of clothes suitable for the child's age or toys, food, toiletries, etc.
Step 5. Begin your life with the foster child
Always keep in mind that the initial step will be quite difficult for him - it won't be all plain sailing from day one. With a little attention and a lot of love and patience, however, the child will be able to understand that you are working for his good.
Try to bond with the baby. Give him all your love, but remember that he won't be with you for very long. Foster care can last from a few weeks to several months, but are unlikely to last a lifetime. More than half of the minors placed in foster care return to their original families
Step 6. In certain cases it is possible for foster parents to definitively adopt a child, in the event of revocation of parental authority of the family of origin
However, the issue is still controversial, given that the foster family is different in preparation and vocation from an adoptive family.
Continue to collaborate with social workers. To ensure that the child's well-being is always respected, good communication with the social workers dealing with your case is essential. They will help you take care of the baby better and offer you moral support
Step 7. Don't stress yourself out too much
Becoming a foster parent can be challenging, especially for someone new to this experience. Take things slow. In fact, in order to provide a child physically, emotionally and psychologically, you must first be able to guarantee your own peace of mind. To avoid excessive stress, you could, for example, ask a babysitter for help.
Advice
- Talk to your family, friends, and partner in advance about your idea of becoming a foster parent. If the people around you will support you, you will be able to deal with this new situation more easily.
- Remember that there are several specialized sites online that offer in-depth information on this topic. Refer to the sources cited in this article.
- Take some time for yourself: You won't be a good foster parent if you are exhausted and stressed every day.
- To save money, you could try to buy used items. Purchases for everyday needs will not be reimbursed: if necessary, therefore, try to save money.
Warnings
- Having a foster child is a full-time job. You will be rewarded over time, but be prepared for difficult and busy days. Make sure you and your family have a support network.
- Being a foster parent is not a way to make money. Reimbursements are often very low or even non-existent, especially in southern Italy. You won't get rich by looking after a foster child.
