Anyone who has worked in an office or gone to high school knows all too well that out of control gossip can be very bad. While avoiding gossip altogether is your best bet, in some cases you can't stop rumors about you from spreading. To address the problem, silence the rumors in a timely manner and calmly, then act in a way to prevent them in the future.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Preventing Gossip
Step 1. Report what happens
Rumors can spread when a person is very private about their life or is not in constant communication with others. You don't need to tell everyone what you are doing in life, but to prevent rumors, it can be helpful to tell some people how you are doing and what is happening to you. In this case, when someone spreads false news about you, people will tend not to believe it, because they know for sure what is going on in your life.
Stay in touch with close friends, colleagues and family. Update them about your life and ask questions about theirs. When someone begins to isolate and become distant, rumors about them spread more easily. People can get upset if they think you're not putting in the effort to hang out with them and make up gossip for revenge. Otherwise, if you seem aloof, others may get the idea that you are depressed, unhappy, or unsocial and make up rumors about your emotional state
Step 2. Be open and honest with people
This advice goes hand in hand with communication; you have to be honest with others, even when things are difficult. Many, when they have problems at home, at school or at work, begin to withdraw from others, become stressed and paranoid. The best way to avoid gossip if you go through such a time is to show yourself vulnerable to the people around you.
- Explain that you are going through a difficult time or that you are uncertain and those who love you will be understanding and compassionate.
- Another reason to be open and honest with people is because you help create a safe environment where they are willing to do the same with you. If you share information with others, they too will be likely to do the same and as a result they will think twice before spreading gossip about you, because they know that you also know things about them.
- At the same time, carefully decide which people to reveal the most intimate details of your life to. Try to be open and honest with someone who is trustworthy, so that they know what's really going on with you. If, on the other hand, you are talking to someone you have doubts about, always try to be honest, but don't share any secrets that could turn into fake news. Some people use the sincerity and vulnerability of others to make them suffer, however horrible it is.
Step 3. Treat people with kindness
Not all rumors arise from close friends and relatives. Many are spread by people you don't know well, so they don't have a hard time making up lies about you. This is why it is important to treat everyone with kindness. The kinder you are, the lower the chances that someone will hurt you and try to ruin your reputation. You should strive to treat even those people who are difficult to like with kindness.
- Some spread unfounded rumors about people they don't know well because they feel they have been treated badly, even if unintentionally. You can't always prevent this possibility, but always behaving kindly the odds of you being targeted are lower.
- If you are a victim of gossip at work, encourage collaboration and not competition. Developing an environment where you treat your colleagues as a team and a family makes everyone feel more comfortable and welcome; in theory this should lead them not to feel the need to spread false rumors about others.
Step 4. Don't spread rumors yourself
It's very simple: if you spread rumors about others and help make them suffer and damage their reputation, the same is more likely to happen to you. Furthermore, you would not be in a position to judge those who speak badly of you. If you also engage in this misbehavior, you wouldn't be a better person than someone who spreads gossip about you.
If you learn information that could damage another person's reputation, keep it to yourself. Even if you don't think it's serious, but you're not sure it's true, don't say it. If you are not sure if it is the truth and that the news will not hurt anyone, do not reveal it to others
Step 5. Make it clear what you are saying
If you are disclosing something in confidence and you don't want other people to know, make sure your interlocutor understands it. Some talk about what they have heard from others, not out of malice, but because they see nothing wrong with it. If you want something to remain private, tell the person you are talking to.
This way your friends won't reveal your private information to other people who might be telling it wrong. It's like a wireless phone: you start with a sentence and after it is passed from person to person, it comes to have a different meaning. To prevent this from happening, make it clear to your friend that what you say must stay between you
Part 2 of 2: Responding to the Gossip
Step 1. Don't take it personally
Some people live with hatred, nastiness, and are willing to spread gossip because they think they will feel better. Others misunderstand information and without wanting to hurt anyone, they spread rumors. Either way, rumors don't usually indicate you've done something wrong. They usually just suggest that the people who spread them have problems with boredom or insecurity, so don't consider it a personal offense.
- While it can be difficult, because some gossip is really bad, remember that people spread it for a reason. Who is kind and cares about others does not spread evil to harm others. Usually those who spread rumors are moved by jealousy or envy towards you, otherwise they are not satisfied with their life and want to make it more interesting with drama.
- Do not give weight to the gossip and do not encourage those who spread it by taking the offense personally and getting very angry. Some people spread rumors just to get a reaction. If there are unfounded stories about you, act like nothing has happened and those lies don't affect you. This can also help you prove that the rumors are not true, because you find them so ridiculous that you don't even get angry.
Step 2. React immediately to the unfounded rumor
When a rumor spreads about you, the best thing to do is to respond in a timely manner. If you let the fake news circulate, it could get worse or even more exaggerated. Talk to the person who spread the gossip and explain to them that it is a lie; alternatively, clarify the truth by talking to an authority.
- Some people decide to ignore the gossip instead of responding. This may be a good choice, based on the nature of the item. If this is such a crazy piece of news as to be unbelievable, it may be okay to ignore it and over time people will stop talking about it. However, if it's a probable story or something that can get you into trouble, you need to clarify the matter right away. Don't find yourself in difficult positions because other people have spread lies about you.
- For example, if there is a rumor in the office that you are not working efficiently or that you do something that goes against company policy, you should immediately shut it up. If not, you could get in trouble with your boss. Report the rumor before it is pointed out and asked if it is true. It is easier for others to believe your side of the story if you step forward first.
Step 3. Find the source of the gossip
When you hear an unfounded rumor about you, in some cases it is best to go straight to the source to understand why it spread. This can help you not to suffer and not to misjudge the other person. Ask whoever knows the news from who heard it and if you are lucky you will be able to discover the source.
- Once you've found the source of the gossip, ask her why she spread rumors about you and how she discovered them. If it was a friend, ask him if you did anything that made him angry and made him behave like this. You should also find out if the news was being spread maliciously or because of a misunderstanding. Even if it is still bad behavior, someone may have spread an unfounded rumor thinking it was the truth. In this case, there were no bad intentions, so don't create unnecessary tension.
- If you find that a person has spread a rumor about you out of meanness, ask them what their reasons are. As mentioned earlier, rumors often arise from insecure people. In this situation, try to understand her, behave gracefully, and forgive her. It won't be easy, but the best way to love someone and help them change is to show them compassion even when they don't deserve it. If you react kindly, those who spread the fake news about you may feel guilty or ashamed of their actions and it will be easier to get them to tell the truth.
Step 4. Let everyone know the report is false
The best way to report a rumor is to prove to others that it cannot be true. You can do this by explaining what the reality of things is, or by showing it with actions. If the rumors involve you and another person, ask for their help in discrediting them. In some cases it will be useful to be backed up by a third party.
- If someone spreads the rumor that you have cheated on your partner, behave even more faithfully. Don't flirt with anyone and spend more time with her so that everyone questions the veracity of the news.
- If someone in the office spreads the word that you are lazy or that you have violated company policy, do your best to show everyone that you work hard and that you always follow all guidelines. Convince everyone that the stories they hear are definitely false.
- While this advice isn't always fun or enjoyable, because you may feel like you need to prove something when you haven't done anything wrong, it is very effective. It may be enough to say that a rumor is false, but if you follow the words to the actions, you will have irrefutable proof on your side.
Step 5. Accept that the rumor may continue to circulate for some time
Unfortunately, even if you've responded to the gossip, not all of them vanish right away. Some people will believe you or lose interest in fake news, while others will enjoy the perverse joy of ruining your reputation and keep talking about it. Don't let this bother you and keep your head up.
