Sometimes people keep secrets from us, perhaps because they are ashamed or fearful of our reaction or because they don't want to hurt our feelings. By following these instructions, you may be able to find out what someone is hiding from you, but mind you: it can be a very long and difficult process, the result of which you may not like.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Make sure there really is a secret
Step 1. Find out if there is a secret
You know someone is lying or keeping a secret about something or maybe you just suspect it. If yours is just a suspect, pay attention to how he behaves.
Step 2. Don't jump to conclusions
If you find that someone is behaving strangely towards you, there may be a variety of reasons, not just because they are keeping a secret. Maybe he behaves like this normally, or maybe he doesn't feel completely comfortable in your presence.
Step 3. Don't pressure him
Don't assume someone is keeping a secret from you, especially when they tell you it's not. Many don't like being asked such questions, and you may irritate them.
Method 2 of 3: Build Trust
Step 1. Be honest
If you want someone to be honest with you, the best way to start is by being you first. Reveal any lies you may have told him and let him know your secrets too. If this person knows that you trust them, they will be more ready to do the same.
Step 2. Get interested
Get involved and interested in his life. People are more likely to reveal their secrets if they feel like you are interested in their life and care about them.
Step 3. Listen
Sometimes people keep secrets because they feel they are not being heard. If you listen when someone talks to you about their problems, it is easy for them to reveal their secret spontaneously.
Step 4. Create a sense of security
Make yourself perceived as a reliable person to turn to when you have problems. Don't be judgmental and be sure to talk to them about these issues in private.
Step 5. Be patient
If they want to reveal it to you, they will. Don't push too hard. Building trust is a process that can take several days or several years. If you're not in too much of a hurry to know a secret, then you might be the right person to reveal it to.
Step 6. Respect everyone
Earning someone's trust is not just about your behavior towards that person, it's also about what you care about others. Even if you are a wonderful person to your best friend, your best friend may not be ready to tell you a secret if he knows that you speak badly behind other people's backs. Don't gossip or reveal other people's secrets.
Step 7. Ask
Sometimes simply giving someone a chance to reveal a secret isn't enough, and a more direct approach is needed. Plan a time when you are alone and ask him politely if there is anything he wants to tell you. Don't force him, but make sure he knows you're there if he feels like talking.
Method 3 of 3: After the Secret
Step 1. Keep it secret
Once you betray someone's trust, it's hard for anyone else to trust you again. It is very difficult to regain someone's trust once they have been betrayed.
Step 2. Support the other person
People who keep secrets are often in trouble or feel they can't get help. Ask them if you can help them and then support them in whatever way they need.
Step 3. You may not like the result
Sometimes people keep secrets for a good reason. Know that you may not like what they have to tell you. It could be information that will ruin your relationship. If that were the case, you should still respect the fact that he revealed it to you and not betray his trust.
