There are snobs of all kinds: those who flaunt their passion for wines, good food or a good read; snobbish people believe that their job, the clothes they wear, or their outlook on life is better than that of others. Sometimes, nothing can be more irritating than having to spend time with someone who looks down on you, because he is convinced that your opinions and your lifestyle are inferior to his. When you are forced to interact with a snob, the most important thing is not to lose faith in yourself and not to be influenced by him. Beyond that, if you're willing to put in the effort, you may very well be able to convince the snob that your ideas are more than valid. However, if the person in question is downright unbearable, you can also try to handle them in another way.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: How to Make Yourself Worth It
Step 1. Don't compete with the snob
You may think that fighting fire with fire is the best tactic when it comes to dealing with a snob, but the worst thing you could do is to lower yourself to his level. If a snob in your circle of friends starts bragging about their vacation in Madrid, you won't get anything by reminding them that you've been there or saying you prefer France to Spain. The only thing you would get from it is to make the snob even more determined to prove that you are wrong and that his life is better than yours. Instead, what you should do is listen to what this person has to say, without feeling the need to prove that you are better or just as good at other times.
While it's tempting to point out how expensive your purse, the wine you're drinking, or the picture you've hung in your living room, it wouldn't be worth it. You can't beat a snob at his own game and would just make a bad impression of yourself in front of people who aren't snobs at all
Step 2. Dismiss him with kindness
Even if you think it would be easier for you to fly than to be nice to a snob, sometimes the best thing when you are faced with a wicked and unpleasant person with a grim face is to smile and say, “Hi, how are you? ? . You may be able to catch the snob off guard as he is not used to being treated courteously by others and perhaps he may surprise you by returning you with the same kindness. If this does not happen, you can always say that you have tried, before decreeing that this person is without possibility of recovery.
If the snob persists in acting like you don't exist, try greeting him by calling him by name in an enthusiastic way as soon as you see him. This will catch him off guard and, maybe, you can have a little laugh
Step 3. Don't lose faith in yourself
Don't let a snob make you feel less or make you believe that you are totally incapable. If you don't stand up for your opinions and start doubting yourself, you'll just add fuel to the fire and give the snob the green light to make you feel like a rag. If you are insecure, don't have the answer ready or speak softly because you don't feel comfortable sharing your ideas, the snob will take advantage of it to make you feel even worse. Instead, try to speak clearly using a firm tone of voice and back up your ideas with facts, showing that you are not afraid to state your opinions.
It is one thing if you do not know the subject in question and the snob tries to explain it to you politely, but it is quite another if you are discussing a subject with which you are very familiar. Don't let a snob make you doubt how many championships Juve have won, if you're sure you know the answer; however, if a snob who is a wine connoisseur tells you something you didn't know about pinot noir, it's good to listen to him (especially if he doesn't do it with arrogance)
Step 4. Don't make fun of him because of his tastes
Do you remember that it would be better not to go down to his level? The snob is not only convinced that he is always right, but he also gets very irritated if you try to blame him. Using your own weapons against him will only make him even more convinced that he is right and he will be upset about your behavior. Since he is used to bickering (being a snob) he will get into a fight with you and redouble his efforts to try to ridicule you. This is something you definitely want to avoid.
Instead of saying that the snob has bad tastes, just mention an alternative that you like in a courteous way. You might say something like "Well, I haven't seen Sherlock, but I really like True Detective. Have you seen any episodes?". This would be much more effective than saying "Only a loser would watch that show. True Detective is the best show of its kind and everyone knows that."
Step 5. If you are confident enough with this person, talk to them about their behavior
If you are forced to spend a lot of your time with the snob, or even consider him a friend because you like other sides of his character, then it might be a good idea to talk to him about his behavior to see if he is willing to change. You definitely don't have to tell him directly that you think he's a snob, but you can try saying something like, "You know, you act like you think you're always right. It's something that bothers me." Although it won't be easy. to say, it could help the snob change if he is willing to try.
If you don't feel comfortable taking yourself as an example, you could try saying something like, "Roberta looked really upset after the comment about her poor shoes. I don't think such judgments are of much use."
Step 6. Show him that his comments don't affect you
Another way to deal with a snob is to show him that you are insensitive to his insults. If he tries to make fun of you, says that something that belongs to you is of poor quality, or tries to belittle you and other people around you in all possible ways, you must remain completely indifferent to his provocations. You shouldn't even roll your eyes. If the snob tries to argue over which type of craft beer is best, shrug and forget it. Show that you are proud of yourself and that no snob will ever change your mind about it.
- If you are about to cry, get up and leave the room for a few minutes or pretend to answer the phone. Don't let him realize how much he hurt you.
- Don't waste time complaining about him to other people. He will learn about it in one way or another and will feel even more superior.
Part 2 of 3: How to Conquer it
Step 1. Find out what you have in common
One way to win over a snob is to find something you agree on or have in common. Perhaps, you may find that you were both born and raised in Curtatone, in the province of Mantua. Maybe you are both die-hard Maria Sharapova fans. Maybe you both love making pasta at home. The more time you spend with the snob, the more you should try to investigate to find out if there is anything that could approach you. The snob will notice that you share the same interests and will start to think that you are a person of good taste.
- If you can really find something you have in common, you might try to impress the snob with your knowledge of the subject.
- It may take some time if, at first glance, it appears that you have nothing in common. In case you have some common knowledge, try asking these people if they can give you an idea to start your search. The next time you meet the snob, try to tell him: “I didn't know you were a Roma fan too. Are you Roman?”.
Step 2. Prove him wrong about you
Snobs judge others by stereotypes in order to be able to feel superior. A snob may have gotten an idea about you because you grew up in the suburbs, went to study abroad or teach yoga. Although you don't have to prove anything to anyone, if you want to seek dialogue with a snob, sometimes, the best thing is to show him that you are not the person he imagines. It will take time to change his mind, but it will be worth it.
While you may be trying to prove to him that you are different from what he expects, you too may find that he is not what you imagined. Maybe you thought the snob was a snooty type when in reality he is nothing more than an insecure person who doesn't feel comfortable with people he doesn't know
Step 3. Share your knowledge with him
While it might be difficult, one way to get a snob is to involve him in something you know he would enjoy. Perhaps, he is a lover of pastry desserts and you know the type of cream puff he has the most gluttonous; or is he a rock fan; if so, you could create a CD with the best Rolling Stones tracks for him. Make an effort to show the snob that there are other cool things worth exploring.
It depends on how you do it. You don't have to let him think you are trying to teach him something. Try a line like "Hey, if you like Vampire Weekend, I think you'll really like the new Velvet Underground album"
Step 4. Avoid topics that could lead to debate
There are arguments that push a snob to give the worst of himself and it would be better to avoid them at any cost. Of course it depends on the person you are dealing with. If he is a wine connoisseur, you should avoid saying that Napa Chardonnay is the best wine in the world, unless you want to hear a lesson on French viticulture. However, if the snob is being civilized by talking about fashion, sports or even current affairs, it is possible to lead the conversation in that direction. Every person, even a snob, has a weakness, so you should focus on topics that don't give rise to controversy.
If this snob proves to be truly determined about a certain subject, it won't do any good to discuss it with him. When you want to talk about your love for the Beatles or about yoga classes, do it with other people
Step 5. Consider the person in front of you
Of course, there are people in the world that you will never be able to bond with. If one of these is a snob, however, you have to try to understand what makes him angry. If the snob grew up in the suburbs and is wary of people who lead wealthy lives, he is not the ideal person to talk to about your yacht or your vacation in the tropics. If he's a vegetarian, he's not the best person to invite to McDonald's for lunch. By avoiding topics that are sure to annoy or offend the snob, you are more likely to win him over.
While you don't have to change completely to win over the snob, keeping his prejudices and experience in mind when talking to him will make things easier
Step 6. Don't be a snob with him back
The worst thing you could do is to adopt the same methods as him. If every other attempt is in vain, you can always ignore the snob, but there is no reason to fall into his trap. Don't bother trying to ridicule the snob because of his tastes, look at him from top to bottom, be standoffish or try to demean him. Neither you nor the other people in your group would enjoy it as much. Don't let the snob drag you into his abyss.
Part 3 of 3: Don't Let Me Upset You
Step 1. Feel sorry for him
If nothing seems to work, try putting yourself in his shoes. If you've tried to be nice to the snob, you've tried to prove him wrong about you and maybe you've offered to take him to a new restaurant, introduce him to a new coffee brand or clothing brand, but whatever you got in return is pure evil, then you can not help but resign yourself to defeat and feel sorry for him. Remember that this person feels completely insecure, has difficulty bonding with others, and is so obsessed with proving that they are always right that they will surely have a sad, lonely and pathetic life. This will make you feel better, you will know that you are a reasonable person and it doesn't matter if you can't bond with a snob.
Think about it: Isn't your life much simpler than hers, since you are able to talk to people without making them feel uncomfortable? Think about how difficult it must be for the snob to interact with others - whoever is causing his pain, mourns himself
Step 2. Make sure you are dealing with a true snob, not someone who is shy or uncomfortable with others
Many such people are often mistaken for snobs. You may believe that the person in question thinks that he is better than others because he does not like to talk, he stays on the sidelines and remains on his own even when you try to be nice. Some people are just very, very shy and have a hard time connecting with others; this could give the impression that he is a snob, when in reality he is the kindest person in the world. Make an effort to get to know the person better before judging them.
If the snob is very good friends with people you think are normal and pleasant, then it could be that he can only open up to a few people. Think about this before coming to a conclusion
Step 3. Avoid it as much as you can
Another tactic to not let the snob upset you is to avoid him as much as possible. If you know the snob is going to attend a little party you were thinking of going to, but you already know that having him around will put you in a bad mood, don't go. If you know that the snob loves having lunch at the office canteen, go out for lunch. Obviously, you must not let him win it and keep you from doing the things you love, but if his presence irritates you so much, trying to avoid it could be the only way.
If you don't want to let the snob dictate your schedule, think about ways to avoid it when you're in the same room. You can pretend you're talking on your cell phone, chatting to other people, or completely avoid the group he is a part of if you're at a party
Step 4. Don't let it affect your self-esteem
If you have to spend a lot of time with a snob in private or at work, you need to learn to let his comments enter one ear and leave the other, rather than remain etched in your mind. Nobody has the right to hurt your self-esteem or make you feel inferior. You'll only show yourself inferior if you let him put you in that role, so it's up to you to decide what kind of person you want to be. If a snob is trying to belittle you, it's important that you remind yourself of everything that makes you a great person.
Make a list of all those qualities you like about yourself and the compliments you have received from other people. Just because a person is acting like an idiot doesn't mean there's something wrong with you. In fact, he is much more likely to have something wrong with him
Step 5. Ignore it if necessary
While ignoring a person isn't exactly the most mature choice you can make, if you've tried everything and the snob continues to act like an idiot, surely he isn't behaving in a mature way either. If you are forced to have this guy around, but you no longer have any interest in making a good impression on him, the best thing is to roll your eyes and ignore the snob. You don't have to pretend that he doesn't exist, but quietly repeat to yourself that you absolutely don't care about this person. This will help you avoid listening to his snobbish antics or wasting your strength trying to reason with it.
If you are in a group, avoid making eye contact or paying too much attention to him. Focus on what others are doing instead
Step 6. Think of all the people who make you feel good about yourself
If a snobbish person in your life makes you feel bad, just remember all the others you care about, love and feel comfortable with. Just because a single individual is making you feel ugly, miserable, or stupid doesn't mean he's right. Remind yourself of all the people in your life who truly care about you and make you feel good about yourself, so don't let an idiot put you on the spot. Instead, try to spend time with all the people you love and care about, you will see that you will feel better both with the world and with yourself.
You can also let off steam to one of your closest friends if that makes you feel better. You shouldn't let the snob's actions affect you too much by talking about it too much, however if you want to get the opinion of a friend, try to let off steam with a trusted one. Your friend will cheer you up by making sure that you are an extraordinary person and that the snob has no reason to feel superior
Advice
- Some people may seem like snobs; in reality, they are just shy or distracted.
- A snobbish attitude does not always depend on wealth or prestige. Even a great guitarist could be a snob.
- Remember that the snobbish attitude related to money, work or a particular skill is often due to the need to compensate for deficiencies in another field. Snobs play a part only to impress others.
- Even snobs with no chance of recovery in the end are very normal people who fear losing face in public if they change their attitude. If you want to change a snob, you must first let him know that you don't need to have a haughty attitude to be accepted by others.
