Funerals are sad occasions where you have to respect the atmosphere and dress appropriately. Typically suitable clothing is dark and without too many frills. Choose more sober clothes in dark colors and don't go overboard with accessories. In some cases, the bereaved family may explicitly request a particular color or type of clothing; in such circumstances it is possible to ignore the practice: the wishes of the family of the deceased are always the most important thing to consider for a funeral.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Choosing the Right Clothing
Step 1. Choose a black or dark dress
People usually dress in black at the funeral. However, not everyone strictly adheres to this tradition. It is not uncommon to see people wearing gray or dark blue clothing. If you prefer to avoid black, try to focus on a dark and sober color.
- If you opt for something other than black, stick to dark and neutral shades. Blue, gray, dark green and brown are fine.
- However, find out about the type of funeral before choosing your attire. If it is traditional, the prudence is never too much, so opt for the classic black.
Step 2. Avoid bright colors
You should never wear bright colors for a funeral. Primary colors, such as blue, red, and yellow, can be offensive or disrespectful. Red in some cultures is considered a color to use when celebrating something, so avoid it.
- Brighter colors should definitely not be part of your outfit. A black suit with a pink sash at the bottom or a black suit with a red button-down shirt are not appropriate for a funeral.
- It rarely happens, but there is an exception to this rule. On some occasions, bereaved family members may request more vibrant hues or a particular color to honor the deceased. In this case, always respect the wishes of the family.
Step 3. Try to be formal, unless requested otherwise
Funerals are usually sad events. You could wear a suit you wore for a job interview instead of a dress you would wear to go to the club. In some cases, the family may require less formal attire to honor the deceased. However, unless otherwise specified, try to be formal.
- Black, gray or navy suits are a great choice. The tie and trousers should have a very similar dark shade. You can also combine a button-down shirt and a tie, as long as they are both dark in color.
- Generally, dresses and long skirts are more suitable for a funeral. Avoid wearing garments that are too tight, as you risk having a more suitable outfit for an evening out than for a formal event. A shirt and dress pants, both of which are dark in color, are also a good option.
Step 4. Pay attention to the length of the sleeves
Generally for a funeral it is better not to uncover too much, so it is advisable to avoid sleeveless dresses or dresses with very short sleeves. Rather, give preference to long-sleeved shirts. If you want a sleeveless black dress, try covering your arms with a shawl or shrug.
Step 5. Go for a simpler garment if the pants or skirt have geometric patterns
Fantasies are fine, on these occasions, as long as they are not too flashy. A floral patterned skirt or dark-colored striped shirt is understated enough for a funeral. However, the more flashy and flamboyant patterns are to be avoided, especially if they contain bright colors. For example, a black shirt with red polka dots is not a great choice for a funeral.
However, as always, remember to respect the wishes of the deceased's family. In some cases, a particular fantasy may be required
Part 2 of 3: Choosing the Accessories
Step 1. Choose a pair of elegant yet comfortable shoes
This is especially important if you have to attend a wake or a burial before or after the funeral. On these occasions you walk and stand a lot of time, so shoes need to be comfortable. For example, high heels are not ideal. Make sure you choose a formal, dark-colored pair of footwear.
- A good choice are black elegant shoes or black ballet flats. For a funeral they are also excellent in variants in green, blue or dark gray.
- If the function is not very formal, sneakers or trainers (as long as they are dark) can also work. However, try not to be too sporty or casual.
Step 2. Choose an understated tie
If you want to wear a tie, make sure it's not flashy. Generally you should avoid those with bright colors or flashy patterns; for a funeral it would be better if it were plain or without patterns. Make sure you choose a darker color, such as green, blue, or dark gray.
However, there are exceptions to this rule. For example, if you want to wear a tie that was given to you by the deceased, family members might appreciate this gesture. Know if the gesture will be appreciated, so that you can make sure it is not taken the wrong way
Step 3. Moderate your makeup
If you intend to wear makeup, try not to overdo it. Please note that this is a formal occasion. So, just as you avoid wearing heavy, flashy makeup to the office, so you also have to do it at a funeral.
- The best is a light veil of foundation and a nude lipstick. Add a shade of blush, if you like, and also a very soft eyeshadow and mascara.
- As always, there are exceptions depending on the wishes of the deceased's family. For example, if you are going to the funeral of a person who worked in the theater, family members may request a more charged and eye-catching make-up.
Step 4. Go for traditional jewelry
If you are afraid of choosing the wrong jewelry, it is better not to wear it at all. In fact, in this way your appearance will be even more sober and austere. However, if you want to add a piece of jewelry, limit your choice to the more classic ones. A strand of pearls is much more appropriate than a chunky, shimmering necklace.
If you wear earrings, choose a simple pair. Large pendants or hoops are a little too flashy for a funeral. Instead, opt for stud earrings
Step 5. Choose a pocket square of the right color
If you like to wear this accessory, consider that it should be dark. Stick to shades like blue, green, and dark gray. Typically, a pink pocket square is not very suitable for a funeral.
Part 3 of 3: Considering Other Factors
Step 1. Consider matters of faith
If the funeral rite is religious, there may be special rules regarding clothing. Therefore, find out which confession the deceased belonged to and do some quick research. See if there are any religious precepts about clothing in the event of bereavement. You must always respect the missing person's faith.
- For example, some religions may require women to be extremely sober at the funeral. Therefore, it is not appropriate to show up with a dress or a skirt that is too short.
- Searching on the internet you can find out about the various religious rituals. However, it is best to ask a few family members, they may give you more appropriate advice on clothing.
Step 2. Consider the different cultural customs
If the deceased came from a different cultural background than yours, it may be appropriate to dress in certain colors. Although dark ones are traditionally used in Western funerals, this custom does not necessarily apply to other cultures.
- Indeed, in certain cultures the pain of mourning is associated with more vivid colors. For example, the color of mourning in Korea is blue, while in Egypt, Ethiopia and Mexico it is yellow.
- In some Middle Eastern cultures, white is considered the color of mourning.
Step 3. Don't neglect the weather conditions
If the funeral or burial takes place outdoors, consider it. For example, you might want to bring an umbrella if it's raining or a coat if it's cold. Make sure these accessories are also suitable for the funeral.
- Even with an umbrella and raincoat, remember that you are going to a funeral service. Therefore, it is not at all appropriate to show up in such a context with a hot pink umbrella. Instead, it would be more appropriate to wear a black one and a dark raincoat.
- The coat or jacket should also be dark. It might be in bad taste to go to an outdoor funeral wearing a white overcoat.
Step 4. Respect the wishes of the deceased
You should always meet various needs, even when they come out of the ordinary. If the family has a particular color or motif for the funeral ceremony, do what you can to accommodate this request. If the family members decide to give the last farewell to the deceased with a different function than usual, he or she will indulge their wishes without giving importance to etiquette.
Advice
- If you are unsure, ask the family about what kind of clothing they like, or ask someone else if the clothes you have chosen are suitable for a funeral.
- If the funeral ceremony is very traditional, women can also wear a simple and elegant hat.
- The family may choose to organize a more solemn funeral. In this case, if you are not a family member, don't be afraid to ask what the most appropriate dress code is.
Warnings
- A simple make-up is recommended: water-resistant mascara, a veil of eyeshadow or a very light line of eyeliner.
- Offer your seat or umbrella to older people or mothers with small children.
- It can be difficult to walk in high heels on grassy ground outdoors, especially if it is raining.
