While obstacles are inevitably a part of life, they can sometimes make us feel discouraged and depressed. However, by focusing on the positives and learning to consider the various impediments as opportunities for improvement, it is possible to face those moments with more optimism.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Choosing the Way to See Things
Step 1. Imagine how to achieve your goals
Try to imagine how happy you will be when you get the promotion you have longed for or when you have shed the pounds you plan to lose. Focus on the success of your goals, instead of being discouraged by thinking about how far away they seem.
For example, if you want to save money for a vacation, decide how much money you need to travel and think about how you can achieve this. Don't be discouraged if it seems difficult at first. Maybe you will have to give up the cappuccino from the bar in the morning or cancel your subscription to the satellite channels to save money. Think of the happiness you will feel as you manage to put aside enough money to book and leave
Step 2. Focus on your successes
Avoid focusing on past failures and problems, otherwise you will only be discouraged. Instead, think about everything you have accomplished so far and the steps you can take to move forward and achieve what you have set out to do.
If you're trying to lose weight and have spent all weekend gorging yourself on food and even forgetting to work out, don't blame yourself. Instead, focus on the good things you've done, such as getting your energy back on Monday morning or giving your body and mind a weekly break. By focusing on everything positive you've done instead of tormenting yourself over the mistakes you've made, you won't lose your grit and keep a more positive mindset
Step 3. See obstacles as opportunities for improvement
Anyone can make mistakes in life. Remember that just because you have a setback doesn't mean you are a disaster. The hindrances allow us to understand what can go right or wrong next time.
- If you are faced with an obstacle, try not to dwell on the negative aspects. Getting stuck in these cases is daunting and unproductive, so try to recognize opportunities in times of crisis.
- For example, losing your job might be the right opportunity to find a more satisfying job or to resume your studies. Ending a relationship may offer you a chance to focus more on yourself and cultivate friendships.
Step 4. Set realistic goals
If you base your goals on little concrete assumptions, you will tend to get discouraged; So make sure that everything you hope to accomplish is feasible and achievable within a reasonable amount of time. Remember that progress takes time and that in most cases it is not possible to achieve your goals overnight.
Try to break down bigger goals into smaller ones so that you feel able to achieve them. For example, instead of setting your sights on running a marathon by the end of the year, find a way to get there by starting training for a 5km run
Step 5. Record your progress
It is important to have tangible proof of what you are doing. By seeing with your own eyes the progress you are making, you will feel better and more motivated to follow your path.
For example, you could track your weight loss in a diary, note the times you pay off your credit card bills, or keep track of your savings. Every little detail can be useful, and by documenting your progress, you will be able to understand how far you have come
Part 2 of 3: Changing Attitude
Step 1. Be optimistic
In order not to be discouraged, you need to choose to be optimistic and positive. While this may seem forced or lead you to "pretend" at first, your efforts will pay off in the end. Instead of worrying that you won't be able to reach your goal before you even begin, convince yourself that you can achieve it if you go slow and work hard. This way you will be able to make it happen.
For example, losing 20 kg may seem like a long way off. However, if you set it up with a more positive spirit, perhaps by deciding to dispose of them in ten 2 kg phases, it will seem more feasible. Optimism and positive thinking are the secret to mentally framing everything you set yourself to accomplish
Step 2. Let the anger out
If you blame yourself for the mistakes and injustices of the past, you will only be discouraged and foster a sense of inadequacy in yourself. However, acknowledge your anger and remember that while it's not a problem, it's not beneficial at all. Get over this mood and focus on your goals.
- Often behind the anger there are other emotions, such as frustration, insecurity, injustice or pain. Try to channel it constructively. To control it in a healthy way, try practicing deep breathing and taking some time off.
- Distractions that can relax you, such as reading or writing a journal, are also a useful outlet for frustration.
Step 3. Get rid of your fears
Fear, like anger, discourages and demeans. If you are always afraid of making a mistake or never completing the most important goals, you will see your fears as obstacles that paralyze you. Techniques to relieve anxiety allow you to overcome your fears and avoid becoming discouraged and living in bewilderment. So, learn to manage your fears so that you can fight anxiety in the most appropriate way.
For example, if you have to travel by plane for work reasons and you are afraid of flying, you run the risk that the goal of distinguishing yourself in the professional field will be undermined. Step-by-step exposure therapy and cognitive-behavioral therapy allow you to allay your fears and desensitize yourself in the face of the most terrifying situations. Use cognitive-behavioral techniques to face your anxieties and fears head on
Step 4. Avoid comparing yourself to others
Constant discussions with friends, family or colleagues generate anxiety and discouragement. Consider that it is not possible for you to know the difficulties and moments of despair that people have had to go through to get to the point where they are today. You can only do your best, so look inside and figure out how you can achieve your goals. Avoid making superficial comparisons with people: they only serve to discourage you and distract you from what you set out to accomplish.
Part 3 of 3: Practice Optimism
Step 1. Play sports
Exercise counteracts depression and lifts mood. If you are feeling low or discouraged, try to work out at least 20 minutes a day. If you can, go for a walk or a run in the fresh air and sunshine.
Step 2. Find a mentor
If you feel discouraged at work, seek the assistance of a more experienced and knowledgeable colleague. He must be a person with a positive attitude and willing to cooperate with you. However, don't force her to mentor you. Make sure you find a guide you feel you work well with.
For example, if you have recently been teaching at a school and are feeling overwhelmed in your new work environment, find a colleague who is willing to explain how he coped with stress and discomfort when he was just starting out. His wisdom and experience will be of great use to you and will make you understand that you are not alone because other people can also go through the same difficulties as you
Step 3. Keep a journal
By noting the way your goals evolve, the obstacles you encounter and the emotions you experience, you will realize if you are progressing in the right direction. If you become aware of your moods and the way they affect you in certain situations, you will be able to find a balance and avoid getting discouraged.
- For example, did a professional obstacle make you particularly demoralized during the week? Did you pass an exam you studied hard for with flying colors? Write down any positive or negative emotions and experiences in your journal.
- A journal in which to record everything you are grateful for is a great way to ward off discouragement. Start writing a gratitude journal and try to update it daily, noting your successes or things you are grateful for.
- If you prefer, you can also download an application to your phone, tablet or computer that allows you to keep a virtual diary. Either way, an old-fashioned notebook will do as well.
Step 4. Reward yourself every time you reach a milestone
When you work hard on something and get great results, don't hesitate to celebrate! Go out for dinner, treat yourself to a pedicure, or plan something relaxing to do at home. If you set a goal and achieve it, you must reward yourself regardless of the importance of the task you have completed.
Step 5. Spend your time with friends who have a similar outlook on life to yours
If you are looking to change the way you see life and shake off depression and despondency, then you need to hang out with positive and inspiring people. To change your perspective or achieve your goals, surround yourself with friends who are willing to support you and not question your every step. Above all, avoid those who try to dishearten you and belittle what you intend to accomplish.
Step 6. Go to therapy
Despite best efforts, it is sometimes necessary to rely on a mental health professional to combat despondency and sadness. The psychotherapist makes his skills available to help the patient identify stressors and, therefore, can offer valuable support in the fight against mistrust and loss.
