Nostalgia is an inevitable feeling that follows us when we are away from home, especially the first time. However, the resulting emotional distress should not be overlooked and we should try to recognize the meaning of what we feel and why. Accept that adapting to a new environment is challenging and that making new friends takes time. As your new life takes root, you should decide on some steps to take to avoid homesickness.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Coping with Nostalgia
Step 1. Enjoy the freedom
This may sound like bad advice, but having fun is the best way to avoid homesickness. Moving to a new place offers great opportunities for choice to spend your free time. Focus on you; it is important to do this once in a while and for a while, and what occasion is more suitable than a new place? Without friends, opportunities to enjoy life include:
- Exercise. Work hard every day to increase your heart rate, whatever way you prefer to do it. Jogging is a great way to get to know your new neighborhood from a personal perspective. You will be able to learn about your new environment and feel more comfortable.
- Bring something to keep you busy. If you keep a diary, always carry it with you. Or you can bring a book or magazine. Reading and writing are great choices for occupying the mind and for reflecting.
- Do the thing you've always wanted. Do some skydiving. Or, if that's too big a step for you, visit an art museum. Think back to the last time you said to yourself "I'd like to try …"; whatever it was, here's your chance!
Step 2. Insist on a positive mindset
You don't have to confuse being alone in a new place with loneliness. There is no rule that states that being alone means that you must feel alone. Always remember this, even out loud if necessary. Other useful things to repeat to yourself are:
- "The time I will spend alone has a limit."
- "I'd like to be somewhere else today, but it'll be better here."
- "Each of us feels alone from time to time".
- "I'm strong and creative enough to be able to spend some time alone".
- "There are people in the world who care about me, even if they are far away."
- "I'm on my own right now and it's probably something I should do from time to time."
Step 3. Find alternatives to the amenities of the city where you were born
If you miss the warmth of your favorite coffee shop when you get home or are worried about finding a mechanic you can trust, think about what was special about the places you liked. Go around and find models equivalent to these places in the city where you live now. Searching for something like a new favorite bar will make the types of places you like to be more obvious.
- For example, you may find that natural lighting is really what you need to focus on and that the cafes you frequented after you moved were darker than what you were used to. If you find a sunny, well-lit spot with an environment similar to the one you miss, you may eventually decide it's your new favorite. In addition, the search will facilitate the meeting with many bartenders (who can be an important source of local information) and the discovery of some new neighborhoods near you!
- Admit that finding a comfortable life in a new city requires a thorough understanding of the places. Explore and take advantage of what the new city has to offer - including countless new opportunities to play sports, go to restaurants and nightclubs, and use public transport. In the end you will compare all of this with what you were used to, you will feel more comfortable in the new city and you will have entertainment equivalent to what you enjoyed in the place where you lived before moving.
Step 4. Schedule days to call home
Choose a particular day, once a week, to call. You may have the impression that it is not enough, but it will give you the time and opportunities to start developing new social relationships in the new environment.
Step 5. Keep some things close to you that give you comfort
Even if only in the subconscious, memories of the places and people you miss will make you feel more comfortable. Memories of home may echo regrets, but the comfort of familiar objects will make you accept your new life better. Arrange photos of friends and family or objects that were in your room in places where you can see them often.
Step 6. Write an old-fashioned letter
Write to an old friend with whom you have not been in contact for a long time. It will be very important to him and you will be surprised by the pleasure it gives to write a letter by hand. If he is available, commit to writing and replying to his letters. One letter a month is enough to keep you in touch, it dictates a method of transferring thoughts to a sheet of paper and makes you feel impatient waiting for the answer.
Step 7. Try to have something to look forward to
Anxiety in anticipation of something helps to maintain a positive mood. If you feel very homesick and can afford to pay a visit, plan a trip. This will reassure you in the meantime, will give you something to be impatient about and will make you feel like home for a while.
Method 2 of 3: Building New Relationships
Step 1. Recognize that it is more difficult to replace people than places
You will find a new hairdresser sooner or later, but finding new friends is certainly more difficult. Empower yourself to miss the people who made your life so enjoyable before you moved - and recognize that you won't find identical substitutes anywhere else in the world. But don't let this detract from the quality of your life in the new home.
After all, a new city offers not only new friendships, but entire networks and communities to dive into. Don't hesitate to do it. If you miss one or two people in particular, call them in the evening to exchange and share the story of the day. You will find that you have so many things to talk about - and conversations will be more positive and mutually enjoyable when you have new and exciting experiences to share
Step 2. Build new relationships with the people where you live now
Even if you don't feel like it, you will find throngs of people who will be thrilled to meet you wherever you have moved. Look for those who form groups based on criteria you share, whether you have common stories or interests. For instance:
- If you have studied at an important university and moved to a big city, you will probably find meetings of alumni. If a quick search does not produce results, contact the student office and you will be able to find out if there are any meetings of former students in your new city.
- If you have moved to another country, look for people who have also emigrated from Italy.
- Go out for the fun of it. There are some great websites designed to arrange meetings based on similar interests or just casual social relationships. Visit Meetup and Reddit, two platforms for connecting people in all cities of the world.,
Step 3. Accept invitations
If someone invites you out, don't be begged! Don't worry if at first glance you try to befriend everyone you meet. You will probably not be able to establish a relationship with many of them, but you can still enjoy the interaction and the more people you meet, the more comfortable you will feel in the new city.
Step 4. Swap a meal from the new town for one from your home area
This way you have a great opportunity to enjoy familiar flavors and aromas and to develop authentic relationships with the people in your new life. The feelings of friendship that arise from breaking bread together have more ancient roots than writing. Invite the people you want to know better to share a meal that has meaning for you. Talk about your old house in the house you live in now.
Step 5. Volunteer
It is an activity that will insert you into a new community, fostering new social relationships and giving you a sense of belonging to the new city. Whatever your interests, you will always find a volunteer opportunity that you enjoy and you will meet people who are willing to carry out similar activities to make a contribution to others.
Step 6. Try to surround yourself with lots of people
Always be there. You can increase the number of social interactions in many quick and easy ways. If you are a college student, know that this is the time in your life where you will have endless opportunities to meet people and get involved in new groups. To better evaluate these opportunities:
- See a list of student organizations. Universities provide information and news on websites.
- Consult a calendar related to university life. There is the possibility that you will soon participate in events that you did not even know existed. Universities are incredible places to experience all kinds of creative expression, from music to theater. There will almost always be something to do that will interest you.
- Join a recreational association. This will immediately engage you in a new community and will likely lead to new friendships.
- When you eat, especially in environments where other people do the same things (for example a mess hall), ask to sit at an occupied table that has a chair still free and say hello to those who are already seated there.
Method 3 of 3: Coming to terms with Nostalgia
Step 1. Find out the causes of nostalgia
Living away from home - at university or even in the military - you will soon begin to suffer from the lack of aspects of your previous life, especially the first time. You will find that missing the people and places that made you feel loved, safe and secure can have a huge impact on your mood. Nostalgia is how the desire for the comfort and safety of the things you are used to manifests itself, including routine and a sense of social belonging.
Step 2. Know that nostalgia will have ups and downs
As with all emotions, the weight of the feelings related to nostalgia will change. Don't be surprised at the unexpected moments of sadness and longing you will have at the thought of home - these are completely normal feelings. The mind (and body) is simply reacting to a significant environmental change.
Step 3. Don't feel surprised at the strength of your emotions
Nostalgia can have serious consequences on the mind and body. Get the help of a professional if you feel unstable or deeply sad. In particular, pay attention to changes that affect:
- Anxiety.
- Sadness and nervousness.
- The obsessive worry with thoughts aimed at home.
Step 4. Tell someone how you feel
Whether you have just started college or have moved to another region for a new job or have left for a military mission, you will find someone to talk to about the transition period. Even if you can't think of anyone, talk to someone you know has already lived somewhere on their own. Not acknowledging the way you feel can lead to more severe and lasting nostalgia.
Step 5. Think
Ask yourself, "What do I really miss?" Consider the possibility that you may simply miss your old personality and may not yet have gotten used to the new one. New situations often bring to mind some deep reflection on themselves and, together, bring some important awareness that will contribute significantly to your growth and maturity.
