Knowing when and how to say goodbye is often difficult, even in less formal situations. However, learning to say goodbye clearly, gently, and appropriately is a skill that will help keep relationships intact and communicate to people that you care. Sometimes it's easier than it looks. Read on to be able to recognize opportune times and anticipate the needs of others when you walk away from them.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Saying Goodbye for a Specified Period of Time
Step 1. Recognize the right time to leave
When you are at a party or meeting, or even having a face-to-face conversation with someone, it can be difficult to leave. If you learn to recognize the best opportunities to leave a certain context, you will have less difficulty in saying goodbye.
- Notice if people seem to be dwindling. If more than half of the people have left, it might be a good time to do the same. Find the host, or your friends, wave a general greeting to everyone present and leave.
- Go away when you want. There is no need to wait for a special signal. If you are ready to go home or to end the conversation, try saying, "Well, I'm going. See you later!"
Step 2. Watch your body language
It's rude to stay too long, but it can often be difficult to understand. It is not pleasant for the host to tell guests to leave, so try to observe the surrounding signs.
If the party thrower starts cleaning up or no longer joins the conversation, get your friends together, pack up your things, and head for the door. If someone starts looking at the clock or seems restless, this is also the time to leave
Step 3. Make a general appointment to see yourself again with others
Even saying, "See you tomorrow at school" or "I can't wait to see you again next Christmas," lighten the farewell, projecting it into the future. If you don't have any plans yet, take this opportunity to do them. By saying, "See you soon" you suggest this opportunity.
Make an appointment for coffee or lunch later in the week if that makes the goodbye easier, but don't make plans if you don't want to. It is not a problem to leave without any rendezvous
Step 4. Tell the truth
You may be tempted to come up with a "good excuse" when you are ready to leave, but there is no need. If you intend to go home, just say: "I have to go, see you soon". Don't complicate the situation. If you want to get out of a conversation you want to end, just say "Let's talk about it later."
Part 2 of 3: Saying Goodbye for a Long Time
Step 1. Find an appropriate time to talk before you leave
If someone you know has to move abroad for several years or to another city to continue their studies at university, they may be experiencing a stressful and hectic time during which they have to organize themselves to leave. Make an appointment to meet him and say hello. Do the same if you are the one starting. Don't make commitments with people you have no interest in greeting, and don't forget to see your siblings.
Choose a pleasant setting: maybe a dinner out, a walk in your favorite neighborhood or spend a few hours together doing something that you both enjoy, like watching a game
Step 2. Talk about the good times we spent together
Tell the funniest anecdotes and remember the happiest situations. Dig into the past, recalling the things you did together, the events you shared during your friendship, the moments you spent together, maybe even the day you met.
Don't start saying goodbye as soon as you see the other person. Study his attitude regarding his or your departure. If it's a trip you can't wait to do, don't spend all your time wondering if you have considered every little thing. If she is excited, do not continually bore her by saying that everyone will miss her. If your friends are jealous of your job opportunity in France, don't spend all your time bragging about it
Step 3. Be open and friendly
It is important to recognize how important the relationship with the other person is. If you would like to keep in touch with her, tell her. Exchange e-mails, phone numbers and addresses.
- It can be comforting to ask for their email address or phone number so you can continue communicating with the other person, but be honest. If you don't intend to stay in touch, don't ask for information of this kind, otherwise you will leave doubts about your sincerity in the soul of a friend who is about to leave.
- Be sure to inform your family about where you are going and your condition, and always be up to date with them before you leave. It is important not to give the impression that you intend to isolate yourself or disappear.
Step 4. When it's time to leave, try to say goodbye quickly and sincerely
Most people don't like long, grueling goodbyes. However, personalize your greetings. If you feel the need to express complex feelings, consider describing them in a letter for the recipient to read later. In person, keep things light and fun. Hug, give your speech, and wish the other person luck on the journey that awaits the other person. Don't hold back any longer than you should.
If you have to go away for a long period of time and you can't take everything with you, it would be a nice gesture to give something away, even to strengthen a relationship. Let your bandmate hang your old guitar on the wall once you are gone, or give your brother a book that has a special meaning, thanks to which he can keep fond memories of you
Step 5. Go ahead
If you've made arrangements to keep in touch with the people you've left, don't hesitate. Talk on Skype or send funny postcards. If you gradually lose contact with a friend or loved one you would like to hear from, put some extra effort into it. If he seems too busy, try not to get angry. Let things slowly settle down.
Be realistic about your expectations regarding contacts. A friend who changes city to pursue college studies will make new friends and probably won't be able to update you by phone every week
Part 3 of 3: Say Goodbye Forever
Step 1. Say goodbye immediately.
It is always wrong to postpone a visit to a loved one who is in the hospital, like waiting until the last day to meet a friend who is gone forever. Don't miss the opportunity to say goodbye and cheer up the last moments. The hospital can be a terrible place to die. Stand next to this person and tell them what needs to be said. Try to spend as much time with her as you can, being close to her and supporting her.
Often, those who are close to death want to receive very particular messages, from which they can draw comfort: "I love you", "I forgive you", "Please forgive me" or "Thank you". If just one of these seems appropriate to you, don't neglect to include it in your farewell
Step 2. Do what you see fit
We often get the impression that final goodbyes (in case of death or some other circumstance) are a sad and joyless thing. However, follow the tips related to someone's departure. Your job is to stand by and give comfort in a time of need. If laughing is welcome, or seems natural, don't hesitate.
Step 3. Speak the truth with judgment
It is difficult to know to what extent one can be honest with someone who is dying. If you visit your ex-spouse or a separated sibling, there is likely to be a lot of tension on the surface and complex emotions surrounding his passing. The hospital doesn't seem like the best opportunity to go wild and scold your father for being absent.
- If you feel that the truth can hurt someone who is about to die, acknowledge it and change the subject. Try saying, "You don't have to worry about me today," and talk about something else.
- You may be tempted to be overly optimistic, saying "No, there's still a chance. Don't give up" in response to a loved one who claims to be dying. There is no need to dwell on something neither of you are sure of. Change the subject, for example by saying, "How are you feeling today?", Or reassure her with, "You look great today."
Step 4. Keep talking
Always speak softly, trying to get into the role of the interlocutor. Even if you're not sure you're being heard, say what needs to be said. The passing away process is ambivalent: try not to get to the point of regretting not saying "I love you" for the last time. Even if you are not sure if the other person can hear you, say it and you will notice.
Step 5. Be there
Be close physically and emotionally. It will be difficult not to be aware of the importance of these moments: "Is this the last time he will say 'I love you'?". Every moment can be imbued with tension and uneasiness. However, do not let yourself be influenced and try, as much as possible, to live the moments for what they are, that is, moments with your loved one.
Often, those who are dying have strong control over when death will come, and wait until they are alone to spare their loved ones the pain of experiencing it. Likewise, many family members are committed to staying with him "until the end". Realize this and try not to put too much emphasis on the precise moment when it will leave. Say goodbye when you see fit
Advice
- Remember that there is nothing wrong with crying.
- It would be wise to reflect on the fact that the world awaits you for a new beginning. However, you can always keep in touch with your origins.
- If you lose someone you love, especially a family member, don't make an effort not to think about them. Talk to others who knew and loved him. Share funny anecdotes, memories, habits and quotes.
- If someone "goes missing," but is spotted from time to time and doesn't contact you, avoid blaming yourself. Sometimes people need a lot of space to solve their inner problems without being held back by the past; leave them alone and one day they will come back to you.
- Often, saying goodbye becomes difficult when you only see separation from your point of view. By viewing a person's departure from your life as something to bear, you will put a burden on his shoulders that will force him to console you for your loss, when only you have the ability to overcome this pain.
- If you say goodbye to your girlfriend, you better hug her. Never leave her without a hug, or you will likely have to deal with her anger.
