Clowns, spiders, height, needles, flying… what do these things have in common? They are some of the subjects of the most common phobias. A phobia is a very intense form of anxiety combined with a noticeable fear that prompts the body to react. The most serious cases must be treated professionally, through the use of drugs and / or therapies, but most of the mild phobias can be overcome even with simpler methods. This article will help you reduce the anxiety associated with your phobia.
Steps
Method 1 of 4: Prepare to Overcome a Phobia
Step 1. Identify your phobia
Think carefully about what scares you. For example, maybe the real reason you hate going to the dentist is that you know he'll use needles for anesthesia. In this case, therefore, you must focus on the fear of needles and not on that of the dentist.
If you are having a hard time determining exactly what your phobia is, write down a list of things that scare you. You may be able to isolate your true fear
Step 2. Write down your goals
Make sure they are reachable and concrete. Another important thing is to evaluate what the benefits you will get after reaching them will be. Determine a wide variety of goals of different magnitudes; the lesser achievements will motivate you to achieve the more difficult ones.
The simple act of writing down your goals can help you be successful. The reason is that you will be encouraged to define them in a more detailed and precise way, as well as to evaluate their real feasibility. You will also feel more bound to make your wishes come true
Step 3. Develop a strategy
To assume that there is no obstacle would be naive. So imagine how you might react to the thing that scares you. For example, you might try to visualize something else, face fear directly for a set amount of time, or try to distract yourself by doing some activity.
Remember that when your strategy is successful, it's time to adopt a new one. For example, if you have managed to ignore your fear by distracting yourself with something else, you can now try to face it for a short period of time
Step 4. Being afraid is completely normal
After all, it is fear that allows human beings to survive in certain situations. Nonetheless, your fears can easily turn into phobias, hindering you in many ways. For instance:
- If you are on top of a skyscraper, it is normal to feel anxious when looking down. But giving up the job you've been dreaming of for a long time just because your office is on the top floor of a tall building doesn't help you achieve your goals.
- Many people are afraid of getting an injection or a blood draw. In fact, pain can be felt, and it is normal to try to avoid this hypothesis. The problem arises when they decide not to undergo an important treatment or examination just to avoid contact with the needle.
Method 2 of 4: Using Desensitizing Techniques
Step 1. Practice your strategy after relaxing
Each person relaxes differently, so try to figure out which method is best for you. For example, try to visualize mentally a calm and relaxed place, do breathing exercises, meditate or use the technique of progressive muscle relaxation.
The ideal is to choose a technique that can be practiced anywhere and at any time. In this way, every time you have to deal with your phobia, you will have an ally that will help you overcome the fear
Step 2. Make a list of situations in which the phobia occurs
Try to be as specific as possible and include all kinds of experiences, from the mildest to the ones you're most terrified of. Doing so will help you deal with fear on different levels. For example, height phobia could arise in the following situations: hiking in the mountains, flying in an airplane, or climbing to the top of a skyscraper with an elevator.
- While creating this list, you may have noticed that there are variables common to certain types of fears. For example, you may have found that you react with terror to both air travel and elevator travel.
- If you have multiple phobias, such as snakes, spiders and clowns, choose one to start with. Dealing with one phobia at a time is certainly easier.
Step 3. Classify the situations in which the phobia occurs
Sort them based on the amount of anxiety and fear you feel. Start by listing the ones that make you feel only mildly anxious or worried, while the ones you consider scarier go at the end of the list. Assuming you are afraid of dogs, your list might look like this: seeing a photograph of a dog, seeing a dog outside the window, seeing a dog across the street, and finally stroking a large dog. without leash.
It can be either a very short or incredibly long list. The important thing is that it serves as a guide to deal with your phobia
Step 4. Display the first point on the list
It is good to start imagining the hypothesis that you consider less traumatic. Use relaxation techniques to relax your mind and body muscles. When you feel calm and peaceful, start the visualization. Continue for one minute, take a short break, then repeat the exercise 2-3 more times.
Step 5. Gradually address the other points on the list
When you feel you've made progress with one situation, move on to the next until you reach the assumptions you find most frightening. Some points may take more time and determination than others. Getting used to the idea of being able to look at a photograph of a spider, for example, may take a lot less effort than convincing yourself that you can hold one in your hand.
If you feel like you can't make progress, don't give up on asking someone you trust for help. Thanks to her support, it may be easier to face your fears
Step 6. Test yourself in reality
After working through the different situations, relaxing and visualizing them in your mind, it's time to try to deal with them in real life. By now you should have learned how to relax effectively.
Again, start with the situations that make you least anxious before trying to deal with the ones that terrify you the most
Step 7. Continue to confront your fears
The best way to prevent them from recurring is to continue practicing even after you have overcome the most intense ones. Doing so will help you keep your reactions under control.
Step 8. Reward yourself for good work
Perhaps one of the reasons dogs terrify you is that you had a bad experience when you were a child. Whenever you see one, your mind automatically returns to that day, and this mechanism underlies your phobia. The moment you manage to overcome your fear of dogs and pet a large one without feeling anxious, you will have to reward yourself properly: go out for dinner, get a gift or plan a trip out of town. Your mind may start making an association between the things that scare you and the positive experiences.
Method 3 of 4: Challenge Negative Thoughts and Feelings
Step 1. Define your phobia and the negative thoughts associated with it
Generally phobias are accompanied by three negative ways of thinking: pessimistic anticipation of events, excessive generalization and catastrophization.
- For example, anticipating events in a pessimistic way means that a bridge will collapse as you cross it, that the elevator will fall or that you will stammer or lose your temper while speaking in public.
- To over-generalize is to associate each situation with a previous bad experience. For example, you might think that every dog you meet wants to bite you because a single poodle attacked you when you were a child.
- Catastrophizing means anticipating events in a negative light. It's about predicting that a common occurrence, such as a simple cough, can turn into something tragic, assuming for example that the person who coughed is suffering from swine flu and is infecting you.
Step 2. Look for something that contradicts those negative thoughts
Going back to the example of dogs, you might try to recall a time when you met one and nothing bad happened. Think about all the friends who have a dog and how many good experiences they have had. You could also try to tell yourself:
- "That dog is on a leash and his owner is holding it tightly in his hands."
- "He's a very small dog, so I could get rid of him quickly if he tried to chase me."
- "He's playing with other dogs and their owners, so he's very unlikely to be aggressive."
Step 3. Evaluate how you might react if your fears come true
For example, the phobia of elevators is likely to be linked to the possible dangers associated with it: doors not opening, getting stuck between floors, etc. Fortunately, there are solutions to these problems, for example pressing the alarm button or the call button for help.
When you are faced with your phobia, it may be helpful to have an escape plan
Step 4. Try to rationalize your thoughts
Ask yourself if the elevator will actually break? Does it seem unstable and wobbly? Does that dog really have an aggressive look? Is he growling or is he wagging his tail? Is it possible that you are simply anticipating events in a pessimistic way, generalizing too much or taking a catastrophic attitude?
This does not mean that you should also ignore rational fears. If that bridge really looks unsafe (it's rotten and moldy, missing boards, or the ropes look frayed), it's most likely not wise to decide to cross it
Step 5. Reassure yourself and get comfortable
If you are afraid of flying, try talking to yourself as if you are trying to comfort a close friend. Think about what you would say to him to reassure him; here are some good examples:
- The ratio of successfully completed flights to plane crashes is very high.
- The historian of this type of aircraft shows that it is very safe, has very high safety standards and has never been involved in an accident.
- The pilot and co-pilot are very experienced and competent.
- Thorough checks were carried out on all passengers. There is no possibility that someone could possess a weapon or a dangerous substance.
- I am aware of numerous cases of people who have survived a plane crash.
Method 4 of 4: Alternative Methods for Combating Anxiety
Step 1. Discuss your phobia with a friend, family member, or someone else you trust
The purpose is twofold: first, you will no longer feel embarrassed by a secret fear; second, you will have the option to ask for help, especially when you feel stuck. Sharing your thoughts with someone is also a great way to start dealing with anxiety.
Consider joining a self-help group dedicated to people with similar fears. Talking to other participants and supporting them could be very helpful
Step 2. Remember that you are not alone
Joining a self-help group will help you realize that you are not the only one with a phobia. In many cases, dealing with fear will automatically become easier. Friends and family may not be able to understand what you are going through, while group participants may be much more sensitive. Some of them may give you valuable advice based on their past experiences. Knowing how they managed to overcome their phobias could help you do the same.
Step 3. Read a self-help book
Each person learns and learns in their own way: some learn more from experiences, others need to read and analyze information. There are also books relating to certain particular phobias.
Step 4. Consider getting help from a psychologist
In some cases, professional help may be needed to overcome a phobia, especially when it interferes with the normal course of daily life. This could be the case, for example, of a phobia of open spaces (agoraphobia) or of talking to others, which prevents a person from leaving the house even just to do the shopping.
Step 5. Combine carbohydrates with tryptophan-rich proteins
Some research has found that these combined elements can help reduce anxiety. An excellent choice would be a turkey ham sandwich.
Step 6. Fill up on Vitamin C
Vitamin C is known to reduce anxiety and stress. In addition to citrus fruits, which are its main source, you should eat yellow peppers, blueberries, kiwis, and red chillies.
Step 7. Use essential oils to reduce stress, tension and calm down
This is a particularly useful technique when trying to cope with your phobia. You can choose from one of the following essential oils: bergamot, chamomile, jasmine, lavender, ylang ylang. Here is a list of possible ways to use them:
- Combine a few drops of essential oil with a carrier oil, such as coconut or jojoba, then rub it into your skin.
- Pour a few drops of essential oil into the warm water of the bath.
- Try using them to make beauty products. For example, the scrub recipe is very simple: 1 part of sugar, 1 part of coconut or olive oil and a few drops of essential oil.
- Create an aroma diffuser. Fill a bottle with hot water, then add 20-30 drops of essential oil. Put some natural rattan sticks in the scented water to absorb the fragrance and release it into the environment.
Step 8. Recite a mantra
Choose an easy-to-repeat word or phrase to use when you feel anxious or scared. It must be a message that can calm you down or encourage you as you repeat it. You can whisper it, sing it or say it normally; choose the method that works best for you.
