No one in the world can be said to be totally free from inferiority complexes; tall, short, fat, thin, white or black, whether you are, it is a feeling that everyone experiences from time to time. You tell yourself that you are not skilled, attractive or intelligent enough, even without basing your judgments on any real facts. Fortunately, you can learn how to overcome an inferiority complex by following the simple tips in this article.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Coping with Your Feelings
Step 1. Try to find the cause of your feelings
Inferiority complexes can arise from events that took place in the past. To be able to leave them behind, you will need to determine their origins. Negative childhood experiences, traumatic events, or toxic interpersonal relationships could be the cause of your current feeling of inferiority.
Reflect on your past. Try to recall those experiences that may be the cause of your inferiority complex. Note that the most painful may have hidden deep inside
Step 2. Determine who you feel inferior to
Suffering from an inferiority complex means feeling inferior towards someone. Ask yourself who it is. Try to be as specific as possible or start by taking it out of the way and narrowing it down.
- Don't you feel up to the most attractive people? Of those who have the most money? Who do you consider smarter or more successful than you? Analyze your feelings, limit the possibilities and try to identify a specific name.
- Once you have reached the goal, ask yourself in what areas that person cannot be described as superior to you. Is she equally good at playing the piano? Does he have the same work ethic as you? Can you boast your own values or your careful doing?
Step 3. Break down your complex to analyze it in detail
Breaking it down will allow you to start managing it. Start with those characteristics that make you feel inferior. Analyze them logically rather than emotionally. Are those you consider defects really perceived as such? If so, remember that each of us has characteristics that we want to improve. Furthermore, what you consider a serious flaw, in someone else's eyes, could be a trifle. Perhaps no one has noticed what you value a too large and disproportionate chin. Remember that even the most severe baldness could be considered sexy by many women.
What you perceive as a flaw must not affect your actions. A protruding chin, overweight body, or bald head don't define you as a person, they are just a small part of you. Only you can allow them to control and define you
Step 4. Understand that each of us is inferior to another in some respect
No human being on Earth embodies all possible qualities. Even the one who may seem to you the richest and most charming in the world will be surpassed by someone else in terms of intelligence or compassion. Likewise, everyone is in some ways superior to others. Each individual is a different combination of positive and negative qualities. Understanding this concept will help you have a more realistic view of yourself.
Since there are no people without flaws, there is no reason to turn them into a complex. By exasperating them and creating a consequent discomfort, you only cause a sense of inferiority. Inferiority is completely created and remains only in your head
Part 2 of 3: Change your way of thinking
Step 1. Stop wanting to be like others
Inferiority complexes arise from the desire to want to be exactly like someone else. They push you to want to become someone other than who you really are, forcing you not to be true to yourself. Limiting oneself and foreclosing on the possibility of experimenting new things is incorrect, but so is trying to be someone else. So learn to simply be yourself.
Get inspired by people. Observe them and accept some traits without ceasing to be yourself. Taking someone as a role model doesn't mean trying to copy them or turn yourself into someone else. What you need to do is view it as a positive guide as you stay true to who you truly are
Step 2. Try not to worry about what others think
Inferiority complexes arise from our constant apprehension of the judgment of others. Many of our problems are based on whether or not we are accepted and appreciated by those around us. Learn to think healthier. Stop being troubled by what others think and understand that your opinions are the only ones that really matter.
- Sometimes these judgments are real, but in most cases they are just imaginary. Work on building your own happiness without worrying about what others think and try not to imagine unfounded judgments.
- Remind yourself that there is no way to know what other people are really thinking or what is actually going on in their life. Although you may think that someone lacks nothing, that person may have the same insecurities as you. Focus on your strengths and successes and not on what others might think of you.
Step 3. Focus on positive qualities
When you feel inferior, you tend to place more emphasis on the things you don't have than on the things you have. We all have positive qualities. Evaluate yourself and your life honestly. List all that is good. You may have perfect teeth or a good job that allows you ample career opportunities. Complete your list and appreciate the many good things around you. Maybe they don't make you a better person than others, but why should you be superior to someone? Your only goal is to feel grateful and happy for what you have.
Include every aspect that concerns you. Even though you think you are overweight, you may have nice legs, nice hands, or nice feet. Maybe you have a fabulous family, brilliant children, a valuable education, an enviable machine or you are very adept at crochet. There are many things that make us who we are. Try to highlight the positive ones and stay focused on your qualities
Step 4. Stop comparing yourself to anyone else
Those who suffer from an inferiority complex spend too much time comparing themselves to everyone around them. Such behavior only creates an endless list of people they consider better than themselves. Since each individual lives a life and circumstances different from yours, in terms of upbringing, genetics, opportunities, and so on, comparing yourself to another person is not realistically possible.
Step 5. Don't think in absolute terms
Inferiority complexes make us believe that by being able to change only one aspect of our life we would be able to make it wonderful: "If only I weighed 10 kilos less, I would be delighted" or "If only I had a better job, my life would be perfect". Even if you reach those milestones, you will only get temporary happiness because deep down you will continue to feel insecure. The material and superficial things on which many inferiority complexes depend are unable to magically solve any problems. Avoid thinking that "if only one thing happened you would be happy", otherwise when you realize that it is not the reality, you will feel even more disappointed.
Focusing on your current strengths, values, and positive qualities will make you feel much more fulfilled. Learn to accept your qualities if you want to live a truly happier life
Step 6. End the negative inner dialogue
By talking to yourself in negative terms, you only strengthen your inferiority complex on a daily basis. Telling you things like "he doesn't like me because I'm ugly" or "I'm not going to get that job because I'm not skilled enough" only puts you down and instills more false negative beliefs in your brain. When you find yourself judging yourself, stop immediately and replace the criticism with something positive.
- You don't have to lie to yourself by saying things like "he's going to fall in love with me because I'm the most beautiful in the world". Speak to yourself in as realistic and positive terms as possible: "I am attractive and deserve the love of another person. I am kind and generous and people want to be friends with me."
- Redirect negative dialogue and I believe trying to correct you when you realize you are doing it. For example, if you think something like "I'm the fattest person here …" change that thought to "This new dress fits me beautifully and everyone will notice my style."
- Don't compare yourself to unrealistic goals. For example, if you start talking badly about yourself because you only ran a couple of kilometers instead of the five you planned, change that dialogue to "Wow, I just started running and I managed to do it for three kilometers. That's great. progress. I will continue to strive until I reach my goal."
- Recognizing and correcting your negative self-talk can help you boost your confidence and self-esteem.
Step 7. Develop your self-confidence
To defeat your inferiority complexes, you need to start gaining self-confidence. Start by correcting your mental image of yourself. Inferiority complexes are based on false views of ourselves. Learn to recognize the unreliability of your mental image of yourself.
Remove the labels you have attached to your person. Stop identifying yourself as stupid, ugly, unsuccessful, etc. When you think about yourself, refuse to use any negative definitions
Part 3 of 3: Taking Positive Steps
Step 1. Don't limit your social interactions
Inferiority complexes tend to make us introverted, shy and antisocial, fearful of exposing ourselves and opening ourselves up to the world. What you need to do is force yourself to interact with others. Your feelings of inferiority are only in your head, the better your social relationships are, the easier it will be to realize that people are not judging, mocking or discrediting you. Learning to feel safe and comfortable around others is really possible.
Step 2. Surround yourself with positive people
Those we date have a major impact on our self-esteem. Spending a lot of time in the company of negative people who enjoy judging, criticizing, constantly analyzing others will only harm you. So choose to surround yourself with positive people who are able to accept and appreciate others without judgment. Having people around you who don't judge you will help you love yourself.
Your confidence must come from within, it is useful to surround yourself with people who can accept you as you are. Their friendship will help you understand that the world is not perpetually ready to judge and criticize you
Step 3. Keep working on yourself
If you want to overcome feelings of inferiority, make an effort to evolve continuously. There are many ways to do this: improve your work skills, take up a new hobby or hone your skills in current ones, set yourself a goal in terms of physical health or start saving for the vacation of your dreams. Strive to improve your life and make it fulfilling. Your feelings of inferiority will tend to abandon you because it is not easy to feel inferior when you are able to reach your goals.
Step 4. Volunteer
Getting out of the house and helping others will help you take control of reality. Whether you decide to spend a few hours in a homeless or animal shelter, you will be able to assess your condition more clearly. Maybe you're not as bad as you thought.
Volunteering can provide you with a remarkable sense of satisfaction and pride. Giving to others will help you overcome your feelings of inferiority and stop feeling burdensome or not up to par
Step 5. Face your biggest fears
Do you think people tend to stare at you or make constant comments about you? Sometimes it could happen and in that case you shouldn't forget that each of us is different. Any criticism is completely meaningless and should always be ignored. Certainly those same people will also criticize themselves.
Advice
- Focus on your strengths and positive qualities.
- You are a special person, love yourself as you deserve. Each individual is unique and wonderful in his own way.
- Remember that you are not alone and that you are not different from others.
- Believe in yourself, you are a special person.
- Never listen to those who try to discredit you.
- Never refer to your characteristics in terms of inferiority.
