You can't force people to be nice to you, but you can certainly avoid giving them reasons not to be. Try to behave fairly towards people by following the golden rule: treat others as you would like to be treated.
Part 1 of 3: Making a Good Impression
Step 1. Be yourself
People are more likely to accept genuine, honest and genuine people.
Being yourself means remaining authentic, in spite of all fashions and trends. It is natural to experiment and try new things at any age to find out what we like, hate and make us feel good and comfortable
Step 2. Express yourself humbly
In the eyes of the people whoever is bragging and presumptuous is less welcome than a humbler person. Instead, the more you value others, the more they will think you are kind.
- We often try to impress people to enter into their good graces. Instead of trying the impossible to be considered an extraordinary person, talk about yourself honestly and sincerely when they ask you a few questions, but try to pay attention to your interlocutor so that they feel appreciated.
- Try to summarize the speech of whoever you are in front of. This will show that you are actually listening to him and he will appreciate your attempt.
Step 3. Use the name of your interlocutor
Remember that, for the person in front of you, his name contains the sweetest and most important sounds that can be pronounced in his language and that, by using it, you can immediately establish a relationship.
- By saying your interlocutor's name as you speak, you will make him feel important, valuable and respected, and will give him a good impression that will remain unchanged over time.
- If you are having difficulty, ask for help in pronouncing it. Do not feel embarrassed: he will thank you for the concern you have shown in asking him.
Step 4. Show your empathy
If you are kind to others and open to the world, you will increase your charisma.
- By putting yourself in other people's shoes and also showing some of your vulnerabilities, you will be able to bond on a more intimate level.
- Accept anyone. Life comes in many forms, species and trends, so the more you are inclined to accept others and, above all, the more you support and be grateful to them, the more you will be frowned upon.
- Be kind and thoughtful and behave correctly.
- Don't try to correct others. When you listen to a friend's problems, they will appreciate the help you offer them in trying to solve them. To help him reflect on his situation, ask him some open-ended questions that begin with "how" or "why".
Step 5. Be generous
Don't hesitate to make some kind gestures. Even if no one is looking at you, you will feel better about yourself by behaving selflessly. According to some studies, kindness can be returned with equal goodness and increase happiness.
There are many ways to do some kind gestures. Donate clothes to those who need them. Sit next to the elders and keep them company. Give someone priority when driving. Offer a coffee
Part 2 of 3: Demonstrate Your Kindness in Behavior
Step 1. Smile
A sunny expression is the first step in making a friend feel comfortable.
Show a pleasant, relaxed, sincere smile that doesn't seem forced
Step 2. Lean forward
Try to take a position that indicates to your interlocutor that you are genuinely interested in what he or she is saying. Show him how friendly you are towards him.
Sit leaning forward slightly, keeping your arms at your sides. If you cross them, you will give the impression that you are closed and be on your guard
Step 3. Listen carefully
If during a conversation you participate, ask a few questions to show that you are interested and that you are listening to the topic, your interlocutor will understand that you are a reliable person with whom they can really relax and discuss. Remember that people want nothing more than to be heard.
- Ask the people in front of you questions to make them feel special.
- Consider this kind of situation like a thriller, in which the main objective is to grasp clues and suggestions about the personality of those in front of you. In this way you will have a greater interest in the other person who, in turn, will not hesitate to open up towards you.
Step 4. Make eye contact
Whoever knows how to listen looks the other person in the eye for about 75% of the conversation. You don't need to stare, just show your interest in it.
Look at it between the eyes and nose or slightly to the side towards the earlobe
Step 5. Ask others how they see you
Even if you may not please everyone, try asking a friend what impression you make on people and if you seem open and friendly or withdrawn and distant. You may find that, even if you don't want to, you are giving the wrong impression.
- For example, you might think that an expression of maximum attention denotes a strong commitment to listening, while those who do not know you might believe that you are austere or even frowning.
- An attitude of self-denial towards people can be considered generous and cordial, but it can also be considered to believe that you consider people incapable of acting alone. In any case, if you don't ask, you risk ignoring it.
- Defend yourself and prepare yourself emotionally in case someone tells you in no uncertain terms that what emerges is completely different from what you imagine.
Part 3 of 3: Have Respect for Yourself
Step 1. Have respect for yourself
If you respect yourself, you are more likely to please people and get respected.
Be assertive, kind, authentic, and confident
Step 2. Be nice to everyone
Under the theory of indirect reciprocity, even if you are nice to someone and that person does not reciprocate your gesture, someone else will do it. You too will benefit because someone else will notice your kind ways, form a positive opinion about you, and you will feel good about yourself.
- However, being nice to everyone doesn't mean becoming a doormat. You always have the right to say no. Just avoid being mean to people when you have a rejection.
- Be assertive and kind, but firm when you object to your rejection. Be concise and honestly state why you don't comply with a request, without offering too complicated explanations.
Step 3. Be kind even when you think you are wrong
If you think someone is being rude to you or is sabotaging you in some way, remember that your perception is only part of the situation. You could misinterpret their actions, and if you react negatively based on an incorrect assumption, you risk facing even more unpleasant consequences.
- For example, try to be nice to your co-worker, even if you think they are doing everything to take credit for your idea. Maybe he had a really difficult day and forgot to put your name on the list of people who contributed to the project.
- Try to understand why that person treats you badly. If you find yourself in a stalemate that you can't fix, try to be kind and thoughtful without letting yourself down.
Step 4. Realize that you can't please everyone
Basically, you can't do much to influence how others see you and you have to accept that for one reason or another some people may not like you.
Many times the first impression is based on the skills and friendliness you show that you have
Step 5. Don't sacrifice yourself for everyone
Learn the difference between being kind and having to sacrifice. You don't always have to please everyone.
Choose your moments wisely to spend with others instead of just trying to get their approval by making yourself available for anything. The more respect you have for yourself, the more they will respect you
Step 6. Acknowledge and dismiss harmful friendships
Sometimes, as much as you try to be kind and friend to someone, there is no guarantee that a strong affinity is born or that the person is willing to change behavior. Therefore, surround yourself with friends who can support you and make you feel good about yourself. Forget about bullying people and relationships that risk hurting you.
- Consider whether the other person demoralizes you, makes fun of you behind your back, and whether you feel happy or sad around them. If his presence doesn't make you happy, maybe you haven't chosen the right person as a friend.
- Get away from her and don't contact her, but use your energy to build healthier friendships.
- If you can't help but see her, be warm, polite and kind when you meet her and don't speak ill of her to other people.