Whether you're making or receiving the call, talking on the phone with the person you have a crush on can be stressful. However, it is worth putting up with the anxiety, because with a good conversation you can open the way to a more intimate relationship. By making a good first impression, showing that you are interesting and involving the other person, you can create a bond that will make you feel closer than before.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Making a Good First Impression
Step 1. Stay calm
If you have a chance to be the one to call, prepare yourself well. Breathe deeply and slowly through your nose to relax. when you feel peaceful, pick up the phone. If you get the call, breathe for a few seconds before answering.
If you feel too nervous, don't answer. Wait until you have calmed down and, when ready, call the other person back, simply saying "I'm sorry I didn't answer earlier." Remember to check your voicemail in case he left a message
Step 2. Say hello informally
You don't need catchy phrases when talking on the phone. A simple "Hey, how are you?" that's more than enough and the answer will give you an idea of how the other person is feeling. The original greetings are fun, but it's probably best to start using them after a few phone calls.
People often have a different voice on the phone, so be sure to say who you are
Step 3. Start with a question
Unlike in-person conversations, phone calls usually have a specific purpose. If the other person hasn't already asked you something, start the conversation with a question that can't be answered "Yes" or "No", such as:
- "What does this question that the professor asked mean?"
- "How was the concert?"
- "What do you think of the new Star Wars trailer?"
Step 4. Find an interesting topic to talk about
As you listen to the response, look for a topic that you can engage in an in-depth conversation with; it can be related to the question itself, for example the task before the last one, or something completely different. If she has nothing to say, try to answer the original question yourself and ask her what she thinks about it.
Part 2 of 3: Keeping the Conversation Alive
Step 1. Talk about your common interests
Try to focus on topics that interest the other person. Avoid fields that only you know well, because she will have nothing to say. If in doubt, talk about the things that led you to know each other. A mutual friend, a course or a company of people are always valid topics to fall back on.
- If she plays a sport, you can ask her, "Are you ready for the big game on Friday?".
- If she writes for the school newspaper, you can tell her, "I really enjoyed your last article! How did you come up with that topic?"
- If she is attending a dance or music class, try asking her: "What show are you preparing?".
Step 2. Let the other person speak
People love to talk about themselves, especially when someone pays attention to what they say. When she talks to you, listen to what she says and try not to interrupt her. If you keep the conversation focused on her, she'll probably have more fun.
Step 3. Answer what he tells you
When the other person has finished speaking, try to carry on the conversation. If he mentioned a particular band, talk about some of their songs. If she mentioned a school event, tell her what you think. It's an easy way to keep the conversation going and show that you care about her interests.
Step 4. Fill the silence with a few questions
Nobody likes being interrogated, but having a question from time to time will ease the pressure on you and keep the conversation going. If you don't know what to say, ask the other person for more information on a topic they just introduced.
Step 5. Maintain a light tone
Try to cheer up the other person in the course of your conversation. Always be positive and optimistic, even when she isn't, and avoid being negative or critical. Try to make a funny joke and laugh when she says one. If the subject allows it, you can improve his day with a good compliment, but be prepared to quickly change the direction of the conversation if you find that he doesn't know how to respond.
If the person you like doesn't like arguments and debates, avoid talking about controversial topics like politics or religion
Part 3 of 3: Ending Well
Step 1. End the call on a cheerful note
Try to end the conversation after a pleasant topic or a joke; this way the other person will be happy and will want to talk to you again in the future. When you no longer know what to say, the silences lengthen and the other person seems to have lost interest, it's probably time to end the call. None of these are a sign that the conversation has gone wrong, but you have to be good at noticing them to know when it's time to say goodbye.
For the first call, it is best to be short. In 10-15 minutes, you have a chance to bond without risking embarrassing moments
Step 2. Close the conversation gracefully
When you finish a phone call, it's always best to be direct. Tell the other person that you need to go and thank them for talking to you. Almost no one will ask you where you need to go, but prepare an answer to say in case it happens. You can say "I have to go to dinner" or "I have to finish my homework".
Step 3. Ask the other person when you can talk to each other again
It is usually not wise to propose an appointment after just one phone call, but you can decide when you will hear from you again. If you attend the same school, a question like "See you in class?" can give you an excuse to say hello. If not, ask her if you can call her back in the following days or write to her via the internet. Questions like these leave the door open for future conversations and, if you're lucky, a date.
- If she responds positively, wait a few days before talking to her again so you don't seem desperate or clingy.
- If he answers you in the negative, don't panic! She may be nervous, shy, or distracted by other problems. Give her some space and try to contact her again after a few weeks.
Step 4. Find time to relax
You may feel excited, anxious, or experience many different emotions after the phone call. Take a moment to process your feelings and return to earth. Most importantly, don't get overwhelmed by stress. You've taken the first step in getting closer to the person you like, you should celebrate!
