Talking to the person you like can be exciting and intimidating at the same time. You may feel like you don't know what to say when you are in his presence, but fear not! You can easily feel comfortable talking to her: start by introducing yourself, so that she knows who you are, so you can start new conversations in the future; stay calm and confident, then find topics to discuss to keep the conversation going in person. Ask her for her number randomly to avoid tension, so you can start friendly conversations even through text messages. You can also use social media to communicate and learn more about the person you have a crush on.
Steps
Method 1 of 4: Introduce yourself to the person you like
Step 1. Introduce yourself by saying your name
If you have a crush on someone at school, work, or elsewhere, start by saying hello and introducing yourself with your name so you can talk and interact in the future without fear of being a stranger.
- Don't be distant or disinterested, or they'll think you're acting weird or don't like you and may decide not to talk to you.
- Introduce yourself simply, saying something like: "Hi! I'm Marco, I don't think we know each other".
Step 2. Have short conversations to make yourself comfortable
Talking about this and that is a great way to start chatting, both for you and for the person you like; this way you can lay the groundwork for future conversations. Whenever you say hello to the person you have a crush on, try saying something to get them to have a conversation.
Make a brief comment on the weather; it may seem like a foregone conclusion, but it is quite likely that you will get an answer
Advise:
If something dramatic has happened, like a major sports competition or a political scandal, try starting a short conversation on the subject by saying something like "How many twists and turns in last Sunday's game, right?".
Step 3. Greet her when you see her so she remembers you
If you want to talk to her, it's important that she remembers you and finds your presence pleasant, so give her a big smile and say hello every time you see her.
- If you see the person you have a crush on every day at school or at work, say something like: "Good morning Chiara!".
- Adjust the greeting to the context. For example, if it's raining heavily outside and you see her come in dejected, don't be overly excited; rather say something general, but gentle, like, "Hey, it's raining outside. Are you okay?"
Step 4. Add the person you like on social media to have a conversation there
After you introduce yourself, you will have interacted and she will know who you are, so you can contact her through social media. This will give you the opportunity to see if you have any friends or interests in common to use as a topic of conversation.
Don't add the person you like as a friend if they don't know you, as it would seem strange and ruin your chances of talking to them
Method 2 of 4: Conversation Face to Face
Step 1. Be calm and positive every time you talk to the person you like
It is normal for you to want to talk to the person you have a crush on and they will be more likely to be willing to interact with you if you are positive and do not go into the balloon or anxious every time you see them.
- Breathe deeply to release tension before speaking to her.
- If you've had a hard day or something is upsetting you while talking to her, be honest without being heavy; for example, you could say "Hey Chiara, sorry if you see me absent a bit, but I'm worried about a friend who's not doing so well".
Step 2. Maintain eye contact while talking to her
They are more likely to want to have a conversation with you if you show interest in what they say; keeping eye contact while conversing will show her that you are listening and interested.
- Do not look her in the eye from afar, because it is an attitude that is intimidating.
- Try not to stand there staring at it.
Step 3. Ask her a question about how her day is going to keep the conversation going
If the person you like enjoys a conversation with you, ask them how their day is going so they can talk about themselves. This way, you can get to know her better and she will tend to chat with you more often if she thinks she can trust you.
- Listen carefully to everything he says to you as he speaks.
- For example, if a conversation starts to flatten out and an awkward silence ensues, try asking a question to enliven it, such as, "So, how's your day going? Anything interesting?"
Step 4. Talk to her about the things you have in common
As you get to know the person you have a crush on, you will discover common interests that you can use as a topic of conversation; you can start the chat by talking about people you know or things you both do at school or at work.
For example, if you both like Zucchero, talk about your favorite songs or the concerts you attended
Advise:
Check out her social media profile to find out about her interests and have topics to talk about.
Step 5. Compliment her when appropriate
If you feel comfortable and confident talking to the person you like, a nice compliment every now and then can make them like you more; however, do not overdo it, but limit yourself to a pleasant and sincere compliment when appropriate.
- For example, if you notice that she has a new hairstyle, say something like, "Hey! I like your new hairstyle!".
- Do not make comments about his body, because it would be mischievous and inappropriate, you would therefore risk that he will not speak to you anymore.
- You don't need to compliment her every time you talk to her or she'll end up thinking you're not being sincere and your words will lose value.
Step 6. Flirt with the person you like for a while to see if they reciprocate
Once you have a good friendship, you can try flirting in a playful way: if she is flattered or reciprocates, she may like you and she is quite likely to want to keep talking to you.
- Give her a slightly more personal, but generic compliment, like, "You look very good dressed like this."
- Don't overdo it when flirting, or they may decide to stop talking to you.
- If he doesn't flirt back or seems to dislike it, stop for a while and try again later to avoid wasting your chances.
Step 7. Ask her for help so you can talk to her
If you work or go to school together, you can ask her for a hand with an assignment or project; if she agrees to help you, you will have a chance to interact with her and talk to her more often.
- If there isn't a task or project she could help you with, ask her for advice or an opinion on something else to get a pretext for a conversation; for example, you might say something like, "Hey, I don't know what to give my parents for their wedding anniversary - would you have any ideas?"
- Ask her for help about something that shows her that you are very interested in her opinion.
Method 3 of 4: Send Text Messages to the Person You Like
Step 1. Ask for her phone number naturally
After introducing yourself and talking to her, ask for the phone number of the person you have a crush on without obligation, in a way that doesn't sound strange or implies that you can't wait to text her.
- Ask her for the number with a view to being able to hear you in case you need something; for example, you might ask her, "Hey, what's your number, in case I need to contact you?".
- Don't make the situation ambiguous by asking her for her phone number at the first meeting, as you may make her suspicious and she won't give it to you.
Step 2. Send her an introductory message so that she has your number
Once you get her number, send her a greeting, adding your name and a short text so she can save your number for further conversations in the future.
- Send her a friendly message like: "Hi, I'm Marco. I saved your number, thanks!".
- You can add a nice icon or smiley face to the message so they know it's friendly.
Step 3. Send her funny pictures to make her laugh
Making the person you have a crush on laugh is a great way to get them to talk to you, so send them a meme or funny picture that might amuse them to continue or start a conversation.
Send her something that is in line with her sense of humor, so she'll notice that you're attentive to her tastes; for example, you can send her a meme based on her interests
Advise:
Pick a specific meme based on their interests - for example, you could use a photo of them and add text to represent a funny thing they do or say.
Step 4. Create a group conversation with the person you like and your mutual friends
You can converse with her unassumingly or without pressure by starting a group chat including her and some friends, classmates or colleagues. You can send jokes, funny memes or use the group chat to organize meetings and events with them.
- Use a real reason to start a group chat so you don't arouse suspicion. For example, if you all attend the same class, you can create a group chat and start with something like: "Hi guys, I'm Marco. Has anyone already done Professor Rossi's homework? I'm not understanding anything!".
- The person you have a crush on may think that you are only interested in her as a friend if you only talk to her in group chat, although it is always a good way to show her your funny or friendly side. If you want to talk to her more confidentially or intimately, send her a private message.
Step 5. Send her to a convenient place to have a conversation
Use the informal nature of text messages to ask her if she'd like to meet you, but keep it casual and unassuming to avoid misunderstanding and not seem pushy.
- For example, send her a message like: "Have you been to the new Japanese restaurant before? I really want sushi, would you like to go there?".
- Do not be angry if he refuses, but answer in a calm and relaxed tone like: "It doesn't matter! It will be for another time".
Method 4 of 4: Using Social Media to Communicate
Step 1. Like his social media posts so he can notice you
A discreet and occasional way to communicate with the person you have a crush on is to appreciate their photos and posts so they know you've seen them. However, don't overdo it and avoid liking lots of photos and posts all at once, or else they'll think you're a weirdo or maybe a stalker.
- For example, don't "like" posts and photos he's posted before adding you as a friend, or he'll know you've been browsing past content and may decide not to talk to you again.
- Avoid liking her comments on other people's posts, or she'll think you're obsessed with her.
Step 2. Comment on her social media posts
After chatting a bit with the person you like, it's a good idea to add a few comments to the content they post as well, keeping a light and friendly tone, so they'll feel comfortable enough to comment on your posts as well.
- Don't write overly long comments, but be short and concise.
- Avoid attacking other people who comment on your posts; you do not know the relationship between them, so it is not appropriate for you to interfere.
- Try not to flirt and write exaggerated compliments, otherwise you will be considered suspicious and dangerous.
Step 3. Tag the person you like in funny or interesting posts so they can comment
Social media is great for starting non-committal conversations with the person you have a crush on without being too direct. Post something you think she'll like and tag her - do it in a post you think she likes, so she can comment and you can continue the conversation.
- If the person you have a crush on likes animals and you see an interesting post, such as a cat with a thick coat or animals in cute poses, tag her so she can see and respond.
- Tag the person you like in posts on topics you know they will appreciate, avoiding explicitly flattering or cheesy content instead, or they will end up drifting away from you.
- Use social media like Facebook, Twitter and Instagram to tag people.
Step 4. Send her a direct message to talk to her
Many social media such as Facebook, Twitter and Instagram have a feature that allows you to send a private message to users. Send a message to the person you like to talk to them on social media, but make sure you don't overdo it, otherwise they might block you and then you won't be able to contact them anymore.
Don't flirt if you've just met, as this could lead her away and prevent new conversations in the future
Advise:
Avoid sending multiple messages in a row if he doesn't respond - chances are he hasn't checked his account and then you'd be annoying or harassing.
