It's not easy to be single when everyone around seems to be in a relationship. You may feel pressured to find a partner or even alone. Whether you want to stay in this condition or not, you need to learn to take care of yourself and understand that it is absolutely possible to live a fulfilling life without being engaged. Even if you are single and live alone, don't lock yourself in a golden prison!
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Getting Out of a Relationship
Step 1. Get respected
If your relationship is characterized by violence and abuse or you just aren't happy with your partner anymore, now is the time to take a firm stand and do what's best for you.
- There are many reasons why people maintain unfulfilling relationships, including guilt, financial stress, or having children. In reality, if you focus on your fears, all you do is get trapped in your relationship.
- You can start getting respected in pretty simple ways, such as cultivating your interests, making decisions on your own, and spending more time away from your partner.
Step 2. Overcome the fear of the unknown
Many people are reluctant to end a lasting relationship because they are not used to living alone and do not know what the future holds for them if they break up. To become single again, you need to be ready to take the plunge and accept that you don't know what's going to happen next.
- If you're not ready to end your relationship yet, try being lenient with yourself. If you consciously dedicate yourself to the things that fuel your happiness, you will eventually develop the strength you need to end a relationship in which you feel trapped.
- Don't be too hard on yourself if you don't have the courage to end it right away. Negative thoughts will only worsen your self-esteem and complicate the breakup.
Step 3. Get to know yourself
Some people are actually happier when they are single and there is nothing wrong with that. If you find that you have no problem living without a partner, don't force yourself to act differently. Even if you don't like being single, take the opportunity to understand what are the most important aspects in your life.
- In some relationships, you easily lose some of your identity, so it may take you some time to adjust to the new situation. Whether you want to be single forever or just for a short time, learn to understand what your motivations and interests are.
- Find time to deepen your passions. If you had a hobby that you set aside before you got engaged, take it back. Alternatively, try something new until you find what you like.
- You don't have to follow the habits you have established with your ex. If you watched television every night from 8:00 to 10:00, think about what you prefer to do now that you are single.
Part 2 of 3: Take Care of Yourself
Step 1. Be independent
If you've been with someone for several years, you probably counted on their help with daily chores, whether it was looking after the plants, cooking or paying the bills. As a single, you need to be able to handle all of these things on your own. So, try to list all the activities your partner used to do for you and learn how to manage them one at a time.
- Independence is a quality full of potential! Instead of complaining, remember that you are fully capable of taking care of yourself. Even if you choose to have another relationship in the future, you will always know how to manage yourself.
- Try not to get overwhelmed by the tasks you have to complete and don't be afraid to ask a friend, family member or neighbor for help if you are in trouble.
- Financial independence can be a huge barrier if your ex's earnings were the only source of income previously. Study your expenses carefully and identify what you can save on. For example, now that you are single, you may be living in a smaller apartment or learning to cook instead of always eating out. You can also consider sharing the house with a roommate.
Step 2. Cultivate other relationships
Just because you're single doesn't mean you're alone. In fact, singles build relationships with friends, family and neighbors that are stronger than those of married people. To avoid isolating yourself, surround yourself with your loved ones.
- Don't think that just because you are single, you will have relationship problems. According to some studies, singles are able to establish healthy relationships with the people around them.
- If you have dated other couples for a long time, you may find that once you are single, you are no longer invited to their dates. They may purposely exclude you or just avoid making you feel uncomfortable. Either way, decide if they are important enough to gather your confidences about the relationship you have been through.
- Probably, once you are single you will have to build new friendships. Try joining an association, joining volunteer activities, or socializing with your colleagues. Attending other singles will facilitate the transition phase.
- Consider joining groups of singles or going to singles clubs, but keep in mind that you will probably know many people who, instead of enjoying bachelor or single life, are looking for relationships.
Step 3. Eliminate negativity
There is a belief that certain people are single only because they cannot find a partner, when in reality they prefer to live in this condition. If you are single for a long period of time, you will likely meet people who think there is something wrong with you. There isn't much you can do to change the prevailing view on relationships, so try to ignore this kind of discrimination.
- According to some research, single people are no less happy, lucky, or psychologically healthy than busy ones. Find solace in this information and remember that people who think otherwise are not well informed.
- If you experience this kind of discrimination between close friends or family, you may want to talk to them about your choice. If you can make it clear that you are happy with your singleness and that you feel hurt that they don't look favorably upon it, they may become more understanding.
- If you feel lonely and excluded as a single, this feeling probably depends more on the discriminatory attitudes that surround you than on the way you have chosen to live. Therefore, it is important to stay away from people who make you feel bad about your choices.
- If people try to arrange a meeting, explain your intentions clearly. It is entirely up to you whether you want to date someone or not.
Part 3 of 3: Collecting the Fruits of Single Life
Step 1. Lead a healthy life
Single people have been shown to train more often than married ones. It may be because they have more free time or are more attentive to their physical appearance. Either way, take advantage of the moment to keep yourself healthy and enjoy life to the fullest.
Step 2. Be proud of your strength
Since singles rely heavily on themselves and are confronted with society's criticisms of their relationship status, they tend to be stronger and more resilient than those who lead a married life. The next time you feel bad about not having a partner, remember that this condition makes you a better person.
Step 3. Do what you want
Singleness involves enormous autonomy. If you've been in a relationship for a long time, you've probably forgotten how liberating it is to make all decisions on your own without having to worry about another person's opinion. Now that you are single, enjoy your freedom in the following ways:
- Travel when and where you want.
- Plan your free time according to your needs.
- Decorate your home as you like.
- Eat what you like.
- Go out, stay indoors or invite whoever you want.
Step 4. Dedicate yourself to your passions
Singles tend to value work more than people who are married or engaged. If you want to be happy with your condition, you may want to spend more time on what you really like, whether it's your job or some other activity.
- Singleness allows you to seriously commit to your job because you don't have to worry about meeting the needs that inevitably arise during a relationship. If you intend not to get engaged for a long time, look for a stimulating job that makes you want to get up every morning. On the other hand, if you already lead a fulfilling life, you won't feel any emptiness.
- By spending time alone, you may learn to unleash your creativity and see the world from a different perspective. Take advantage of your moments of solitude to cultivate a passion, whether it's writing, painting or simply finding time to admire the clouds in the sky.
- Trying new things is one of the best ways to combat loneliness when single. Take advantage of your freedom to do what you want whenever you want and discover new interests and passions in order to make your life more exciting.
Step 5. Build a fulfilling relationship if you want
Once you have learned how to manage yourself, you can decide whether to stay single or find a partner. Any choice is acceptable, so don't let anyone push you.
Don't throw yourself headlong into a relationship that you don't feel right. The relationship must be wanted by both parties and not make you give up your identity
Advice
- Don't give in to pressure from friends and family. You should only start dating someone if you really want to.
- Singleness can be difficult especially during the holiday season, such as Christmas and Valentine's Day, so it's normal to feel a little low-key during these times.
- If you are invited to a party and have the option of bringing a companion, it is not a problem if you go alone or choose a friend instead of your partner. Decide whatever makes you comfortable.
- Always remember that singleness is not synonymous with loneliness. You can choose to live with other people and spend a lot of time with them. You can be alone even when you are in a relationship, so don't look for a partner because you're afraid you'll be alone.
- Remember that you are important. If you feel lonely, accept this feeling, without self-pity. Surround yourself with people who love you. Have a new hobby and try to be happy.
