Being single doesn't necessarily mean going home at night and opening a bottle of wine in complete solitude, pining for a romantic movie or the ghost of a past love affair. Instead, it can be synonymous with freedom and offer you the opportunity to hone your skills and put your life experiences to good use. In this way, when you decide to leave this period behind, you will have your fill of adventures lived in the name of healthy independence. The key to enjoying the single life is to make the most of your time, take advantage of your freedom and prepare to build a fulfilling relationship.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Take advantage of your Freedom
Step 1. Define what being single means to you
Regardless of your situation and why you don't have a partner, you need to understand what meaning you give to this sentimental choice, especially if you "see" a relationship in your future. To be happy with another person, you must also be happy alone. So, learn to feel good about yourself, to accept yourself, to love yourself without clinging to anyone.
Step 2. Suddenly you go on a journey
Since you don't have to take into account the tastes or availability of another person, you can go wherever you want, when you want! You can take a day off and go to an unfamiliar place near you or maybe spend a weekend in the city so you can visit it freely.
Since you are single, you also have the opportunity to choose the destination, without having to compromise or feel forced to go to a place that does not interest you. The decision is yours alone
Step 3. Live in a tent (or abandon a sedentary lifestyle)
If you've always wanted to wander around, this is your chance. After all, a romantic relationship could interfere with the dream of moving from one campsite to another or making nature your home.
This option is particularly suitable if you are young and love to travel. Living in a tent allows you to move freely, without having to pay the mortgage or the rent of the house, but with only a few things to put in your backpack before leaving for the next adventure
Step 4. Change jobs if you don't like your current job
Usually, when a stable couple is formed, decisions are made by two. In this case, you may feel compelled to work in an unrewarding industry to ensure safety and peace of mind for your partner. On the other hand, if you are single, you only have to take care of yourself. Therefore, get fired if you hate your job and look for another more inspiring one.
If you decide to resign, make sure you get a new job first - being single and finding yourself (unintentionally) homeless is not as liberating as being single and financially stable
Step 5. Realize that your time belongs to you
When you're in a relationship, no matter how wonderful it is, you need to share your time and life with another person. If you're single, you don't have to worry about telling anyone when you're planning on going out for a night or early in the morning you need to go to the grocery store - or even when you want to go to another city on the weekend. Having your free time as you like can give you a strong sense of autonomy.
You don't have to fill your free time with some activity. If you like staying indoors or taking long walks alone, don't hesitate. You can spend as you like the moments you intend to dedicate to yourself
Step 6. Focus on your friendships
Being single does not mean neglecting relationships with others, but having more time and energy to devote to friendships. If there is a friend in need, you can run to his aid without notifying anyone. If you are invited to a music festival, no one can forbid you from going.
- According to some studies, singles may actually be happier. The important thing is to make sure you have strong, fulfilling friendships.
- Remember that friends make up your chosen family. If they don't care about your good and don't support you, find others.
Part 2 of 3: Making the Most of Your Time
Step 1. Learn to be alone
Being on your own can be a wonderful thing. Learn to take care of yourself in the best possible way, such as cooking, taking care of your personal hygiene, keeping the house clean, doing laundry and managing your time. It is true that all of these skills are essential to be able to live alone, but they will also be invaluable when you decide to build a relationship.
- It is not an easy task. You will likely have to start small, making breakfast every morning or ironing your shirts for work.
- Taking care of yourself means different things for different people. Determine what your needs are.
Step 2. Learn a new skill
Take advantage of the time you would have spent with your partner by learning something new! Whether you want to take an individual singing course with a teacher or browse graphic design websites, a new skill will keep you engaged and enrich your life.
- When you are single you have the opportunity to experiment. If something doesn't appeal to you, change your interest;
- Once you've found something inspiring, work hard.
Step 3. Think about your well-being
It is a good thing to provide for basic needs, but it is even more important to take care of your own well-being. In addition to feeding, bathing and looking good, you need to meet your personal needs. For some, it means having time to meditate every morning and slowly enjoy a cup of tea. For others, it means working out in the gym four times a week to stay in top shape.
Personal care and well-being do not mean the same for everyone. As you develop certain habits, try to understand what makes you feel satisfied and relaxed in daily life and put it first
Step 4. Set (and achieve) your goals
Set goals in relation to your single life and decide how soon you need to reach them. You can set small goals, like eating at home at least three times a week, or set bigger goals, like getting a promotion within the next year.
The key thing is that you benefit from it. This way, you will push yourself further and further and be more motivated to reach them
Step 5. Focus on your career
Consider the energy you would have spent in a relationship and invest it in your work. Even if it is the one of your dreams, you can always take advantage of better opportunities, perhaps going as far as running the store you are an employee of or developing skills that will open the door to higher level employment.
Part 3 of 3: Preparing for a Relationship
Step 1. Reflect on past relationships
Treasure them because they can help you clarify many things on a personal level and teach you how to build healthier relationships. To prepare yourself for the idea of a new relationship, identify which aspects contributed to the breakup of previous stories. Notice the mistakes on your part that have alienated your partner or the attitudes you have taken to control or manipulate the situation. Find ways to improve your behavior when you are in a relationship.
Don't be afraid to take some time for yourself. You don't have to switch between relationships. Enjoy the in-between periods and allow yourself time to recover
Step 2. Correct your flaws
Take the time to reflect on your character and notice your flaws. Try to smooth them out if you want to become a better partner, but also a better friend. It's not easy - no one likes the idea of having sides to correct. However, by identifying them and working hard to improve, you will become a more mature and probably happier person as well.
- If envy is your fault, learn to be grateful for what you have;
- If you tend to manipulate people, get used to saying what you really think and being honest with yourself and others right now.
Step 3. Evaluate what you like and don't like
Many people give up their passions by giving importance to what interests their partner. Take the time to understand what you adore and what you hate, including your tastes in music, food, drink and lifestyle, as well as what you expect from a relationship or from your partner. In this way, you will become an invaluable person, because you will know yourself well and will not bow down to the wishes of others.
Again, this is the perfect time to experiment. Try dishes, songs or movies you don't know. Engage in activities you've never done before. You may discover some really interesting things
Step 4. Seek help
If your aversion to single life is insurmountable or it seems impossible to manage yourself, seek the help of a mental health professional. Even if you think you are the only one who has problems with loneliness, know that many people struggle to be happy without a partner. A qualified professional can point you to strategies that will allow you to manage your frustration and help you look at the situation from another point of view.
Step 5. Learn to be more aware of the surrounding reality
As long as you are single, try to make room for gratitude and awareness of the present in your life. Notice how the food feels when it comes into contact with your lips and tongue, the street noises when you walk the dog, or how you feel after a particularly stressful day. The practice of full awareness (or mindfulness) expands the knowledge of one's person from a physical and mental point of view, helps to make more concrete choices and develop ease and self-confidence.
When you are in a relationship it is not easy to become aware of the various aspects of your life, because much of the time and attention is automatically absorbed by the partner
Advice
- Ignore what people think about your relationship situation. It is your choice of life.
- Take advantage of this time to go out with other single friends. They probably enjoy this feeling of freedom as much as you do.
