Persuasion is one of the most important skills you can learn, because it is useful in so many situations. At work, at home, and in your social life, the ability to be persuasive and to influence others can be critical to achieving your goals and being happy. Learning the tricks of persuasion can also help you understand when these techniques will be used on you you. The biggest benefit of this is that you will save a lot of money because you will understand how sellers and advertisers manage to sell you products that you don't really need. Here are several techniques that work on a subconscious level.
Steps
Step 1. Change of perspective
"The glass is half empty." This is how a pessimist would frame the objective fact of a glass half full of water. Changing perspective is a simple way to change how we order, catalog, associate and give meaning to events, objects or behaviors.
- The headline "Police Officers Surround Sect Leader Complex" creates a very different mental image from "Police Officers Break into Small Gathering of Christian Women and Children." Both titles may be exact, but the words used modify the mental images and the sensations associated with them, and therefore change the meaning that a person would give to the objective event.
- The change of perspective is often used by the most skilled politicians. For example, politicians who support one or the other side of the abortion debate define their positions pro-life or pro-choice, because pro has better connotations than anti. Changing perspective means using emotionally charged words to bring people to your point of view.
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To create a persuasive argument, choose words that appeal to images (positive, negative, or neutral) in the minds of your audience. A single word of this type can be effective, even in the presence of other words.
Another example of this concept is the difference between "Having a cell phone will help me avoid trouble" and "Having a cell phone will keep me safe". Think about which word works best for your message: trouble or safe
Step 2. Mirror attitude
Acting in a mirror means imitating the movements and body language of the person you are trying to persuade. By doing this, you will create empathy between you and the listener.
- You can imitate hand gestures, lean forward or backward, or copy head and arm movements. We all do it unconsciously, and if you pay attention you will probably find that you do too.
- Use this technique discreetly and delay 2-4 seconds between the listener's movements and your imitation. Behaving in a mirror is also referred to as the chameleon effect.
Step 3. Scarcity
This concept is often used by advertisers to make opportunities more attractive due to their limited availability. The reasoning is that if a product is rare, the demand is probably very high (buy one now because they are selling like hot cakes).
Be careful: this is a persuasion technique that you will be exposed to often and always keep it in mind when deciding whether to make a purchase
Step 4. Reciprocity
When someone does something for us, we feel obligated to return the favor. So if you want someone to do something nice for you, why not do something nice first?
- In the workplace, maybe you could pass a tip.
- At home, you might offer to lend your lawn mower to a neighbor.
- It doesn't matter when or where you do it, the important thing is to complement the relationship.
Step 5. Timing
People are more likely to accept ideas and to keep quiet when they are mentally tired. Before asking someone for something they may not readily accept, consider waiting until they've just done something mentally challenging. You can do this, for example, at the end of a working day, when you meet a colleague who is going out. Whatever you ask, the most likely answer will be: "I'll take care of it tomorrow."
Step 6. Consistency
We all try, on a subconscious level, to be consistent with previous actions. One technique used by sellers is to shake your hand when negotiating with you. In many people's minds, a handshake is tantamount to closing a deal, and by shaking hands before the deal is actually struck, the seller improves their chances of closing.
A good way to exploit this concept is to get people to act before they have made a decision. For example, if you were out with a friend and you wanted to go to the cinema, but your friend was undecided, you could start walking towards the cinema while he is still making up his mind. Your friend will be more likely to accept your idea when they are already walking in the direction you have chosen
Step 7. Fluid speech
When we speak, we often use small interlayers and hesitant phrases like "ehmmm" or "I mean" and of course the ubiquitous "that is". These little interjections have the undesirable effect of making us seem less sure of ourselves, and consequently less persuasive. If you have faith in what you are saying, other people will be more easily persuaded.
Step 8. Law of the pack
We constantly observe the people around us to decide our actions; we need to feel accepted. We are much more likely to follow or be convinced by a person we like or someone we see as an authority.
- An effective way to use this concept to your advantage is to be seen as a leader - even if you don't have an official title.
- Be charming and confident, and people will give your opinions more weight.
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If you're dealing with someone who probably doesn't see you as an authority (such as your boss at work, or your in-laws), you can still take advantage of the law of the pack.
- Naturally praise a leader that person admires.
- By provoking positive thoughts in that person's mind about someone they value, they will be more likely to associate those qualities with you.
Step 9. Man's best friend
To give people the impression that you are loyal, and to get them to be loyal to you, use a photo of you with a dog (it doesn't even have to be your dog). This will make you look like a team player, but don't overdo it; exposing too many photos can make you look unprofessional.
Step 10. Offer a drink
Give the person you want to persuade a hot drink (tea, coffee, hot chocolate) to hold in your hand while you talk to them. The warm sensation of the drink in your hands (and inside your body) can make her subconsciously think that you are a warm, pleasant and welcoming person. Giving her a cold drink can have the opposite effect! In general, people have a tendency to feel cold and crave hot food or drinks when they feel socially isolated, so it addresses these needs to make them more receptive.
Step 11. Questions Yes
Start the conversation with questions with a positive answer. "Nice day, right?" "Your wife is beautiful, right?" "Are you looking for a great opportunity to buy a car, aren't you?"
- When you get someone to say yes, it's easy to keep them going until they say "Yes, I'll buy it."
- The best way to counter this technique is to give vague answers… but make sure your wife knows WHY you don't think she looks beautiful today!
Step 12. Break the touch barrier
If you're making a deal or asking someone to go out with you, touching them (discreetly and appropriately) can improve your chances by activating their human desire to bond.
- In a professional setting, it is usually best to touch someone verbally, offering reassurance or praise, as physical touch could be interpreted as sexual harassment.
- In romantic situations, a light touch from a woman will almost always be welcomed; men will have to inform themselves well to avoid making a woman feel uncomfortable. '
Advice
- You can do many things to give the impression that you are more dominant, such as wearing completely black clothing - like that of some judges, police officers and priests - or keeping a neutral face, but there are situations in which to be dominant (or neutral) does not necessarily mean being more persuasive. If you're a salesperson, you may decide to bond with the customer, rather than intimidate them - but if you're a supervisor, making a more dominant impression can allow you to get what you want more often.
- Use the same techniques you believe a salesperson is using to change cards and intimidate them in turn. For example, when you need to buy a car, you lead the conversation. Ask questions you know the answer to, like "Car sales are dropping, aren't they?" and "Well, I guess you'll almost have to sell these cars from last year to make room for the new ones." This will encourage the seller to try harder to reach an agreement. Remind him that his income is not what it used to be, without doing it directly.
Don't put pressure! Ask again after a week or two
Warnings
- Be careful about using persuasion techniques with your friends. In some cases decisions have to be made and there is nothing wrong with convincing others to follow your direction. But if you do this too often, people can interpret your behavior as manipulative or controlling, leading to undesirable consequences.
- Don't speak too fast. You should seem confident, but if you are too quick with your techniques you could get negative results.
- Don't be rude and don't use inappropriate content in your messages.
- If you ask too much, you could blow a deal. Don't ruin your chances with exaggerated requests. Always try to be kind and ask people if they are happy. If you ask if a person is sad, they may get angry.
- As soon as a person realizes that they have been manipulated, they will feel extremely uncomfortable towards you. Think how much you hate pressing salespeople or a passive-aggressive family member.
- Don't try to get someone to do something that can harm them.
Sources and Citations
- DumbLittleMan.com - Original source, shared with permission.
- CovertCommunications.com - Definition of Framing shared with authorization
- ↑
- ↑ https://instruct1.cit.cornell.edu/courses/phi663/Bargh%20-%20Chameleon%20Affect.pdf (PDF)
- ↑ 3, 03, 1MSNBC.com - 9 mind tricks to get what you want
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↑ https://www.rotman.utoronto.ca/geoffrey.leonardelli/inpressPS.pdf (PDF)