Relationships can get complicated and become even more tangled when they end. If you broke up with your ex, you are probably thinking about mending the relationship or wondering if he too would be willing to save him. By evaluating his behavior and talking about it together, you can determine if he still cares about you and maybe try again.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Evaluating Your Behavior
Step 1. See if you communicate regularly and in a friendly manner
If after a romantic breakup there remains a gentle and affectionate dialogue, it means that the relationship still has some positive aspects. In other words, there is a possibility that your ex will continue to have feelings for you and want to be a part of your life. Here are some signs of his possible interest:
- He greets you frequently even if you have seen each other several times in the same day. These small approaches may indicate that he still wants to talk to you, but is too nervous and insecure to take further steps;
- He often calls you on the phone or contacts you via text messages;
- Comment on the posts you publish on social networks or regularly "like";
- He sends you photos that show him in funny situations, in attractive poses or busy with activities that arouse your interest.
Step 2. Observe if your contacts are erratic or disrespectful
To counteract positive communication there is the possibility that the ex will persecute you, manipulate you or scare you. If he doesn't want to accept rejection from you, it means that what he feels is not love, but obsession and control. Be careful and stay away if it doesn't respect your spaces.
Also, if she hardly ever calls or is lonely when she has ended another relationship, she probably doesn't care about you and just wants your attention
Step 3. Notice the body language
If your ex wants to get back together, he is surely driven to seek physical contact as soon as he sees you. He may hug you, kiss you on the cheek, or physically show his affection to let you know that he cares. If he is still very upset by the end of your relationship, he may even look down, avoid looking you in the eye, or even cry.
Her feelings may also leak from her behavior: maybe she laughs louder, smiles a little too much or speaks in a higher tone of voice. These cues (sometimes referred to as microexpressions) indicate that he cannot control what he is feeling or that he is trying to keep it at bay
Step 4. Notice how many times you meet or see each other by chance
If she invites you out or hangs out in places you frequent, it means she wants to be with you. Maybe he is trying to get your attention or he wants and misses your company. Causal encounters may indicate that he is looking for an opportunity to ask you how you feel.
Consider the places you cross paths and ask yourself if he frequented them or liked them even when you were together
Step 5. Pay attention to the gifts
He may continue to have nice gestures towards you, such as sending you a little birthday surprise, a Christmas card, or a special occasion thought. They indicate that he values you and wants to make you happy. For some people, they are a way to show love and affection. Your ex is likely to have this intention as well.
Step 6. Pay attention to his social profiles
If she posts encouraging phrases to move on, she may be trying to forget you or want to persuade herself to do so. If she writes more straightforward stuff, like "I miss my ex", she's definitely in pain by the end of your relationship! Surely it is a message addressed to you with which he wants to make you understand his true feelings.
See if he has deleted all your photos. Often, getting rid of shared memories is a symbolic gesture that indicates an intention to move on
Step 7. Talk to your mutual friends
While you shouldn't involve them in this situation, try consulting them to find out how your ex is doing, especially if you haven't heard from him lately. They might tell you if he still thinks about you. However, if they don't want to talk, don't insist.
- You might say, "I was in the library the other day and remembered the last time I went with David. How is he lately?"
- If you have a lot of confidence, you can be more frank: "Do you think David still has feelings for me?".
Step 8. Look for signs of probable courtship
There is also the possibility that your ex is giving very shy signals or that he is not very direct. To figure out if he's flirting, see if he's looking for physical contact, compliment you, wink, or use phrases to win you over. If he behaves this way, talks to you often and is nice to you, he may still be in love.
If he has never been an incorrigible seducer, these attitudes could indicate that he still cares about you, all the more so
Part 2 of 3: Analyzing His Words
Step 1. Pay attention to times when he said "I miss you"
He may sometimes explicitly tell you that he still cares about you. If they say they miss you or want to see you, it means they still have feelings for you.
Step 2. See if he brings up old memories
If he still likes you or has never stopped loving you, he won't hesitate to remember the past. His is an attempt to bring back to your memory the good times we spent together in the hope that you want to come back with him.
Consider the times he talks about your trips, jokes and jokes like he used to, or remembers when you were having fun together
Step 3. Notice if he mentions the person he is dating
If he still cares, it may even make you jealous to see if you have feelings for him. If he always talks to you about his dating dates or tells you about his new partner, you are most likely not indifferent to him.
- In particular, notice if out of the blue she brings up the person she's dating. For example, if he accidentally mentions the girl or boy he's dating while you're talking about schoolwork or your family, maybe he wants to make you jealous.
- He also remembers how he treated his exes. If he flirted and interacted with them smoothly, maybe his is just possessiveness and he has no intention of getting back together.
Step 4. Pay attention to how often she asks about your love life
If he's still in love, he might even try to keep an eye on the people you hang out with. If he often asks you, "Who are you dating" or "Did you go to the movies with that guy?", Chances are that he still has a strong interest in you.
- Also, see if he makes jokes about the person you're dating. He might try to discredit his image in your eyes.
- If she glares at people who flirt with you or goes to great lengths to stop you from being with them, this behavior indicates possessiveness. He doesn't want your life to go on without him.
Step 5. Pay attention to compliments
If he expresses any appreciation, especially about your physical appearance or the things he used to flatter you about when you were together, maybe he tries to win your kindness. It may also try to make you feel special or remember times gone by.
Step 6. Consider apologizing often
If she still cares about you, she may have thought about your relationship for a long time and started to feel remorse. To win back your esteem, he is likely to apologize a lot more now than he did when you were together. He may feel genuinely sorry for his mistakes and hope that he will retrace your steps by doing so.
Part 3 of 3: Confront
Step 1. Be calm, clear and casual
Ask: "Do you have some time to talk? Can we go to a quiet place, away from prying eyes?" Many people fear taking such an initiative, but the best way to know how someone is feeling is to hear the answer directly from their mouth. You can decide on the spot to go see him and talk to him face to face, but you'd better agree on the time and place to meet. If you are nervous, contact him discreetly, perhaps via a phone call, chat, or text message, to begin expressing your feelings.
Step 2. Choose a neutral place where you feel comfortable
Offer them an easily accessible public place, such as a café or park. He may be reluctant to express how he feels about you if he is afraid of not being paid. So, make him comfortable by meeting you in a calm and neutral place.
Don't be in a hurry and give them plenty of time to talk. Avoid this date if you have something important to do or if you are forced to go to a business meeting after a while
Step 3. Look after your appearance
If you want to win him back during this bout, do your best to be in great shape. Wear your favorite clothes and don't neglect the hairstyle. You need to use this opportunity to seduce him and, at the same time, feel good, confident and important.
Step 4. Tell him how you feel
The more sincere you are, the more they will tend to behave in the same way. State your feelings, without getting upset: "I still have something for you" or "I still care about you, but more than just a friend".
Tell him that you regret leaving him and that you want to mend your relationship. Give him specific reasons, such as: "I miss you because we were fine together" or "I loved being with you. You made me feel so at peace."
Step 5. Listen to his response
You will probably want to express a lot of repressed emotions, but remember that he may be in the same situation too. Then, give him the opportunity to express himself. That way, you will know if he no longer thinks about you or wants to get back together.
If he explicitly says he prefers to leave things as they are, don't insist. Don't try to control him or force him to talk about things he doesn't intend to touch on
Step 6. Accept his answer
If he is still in love with you and you decide to get back together, then go ahead and create a more stable and stronger relationship. Resolve problems that previously undermined your relationship to prevent them from re-emerging. However, if you realize that he no longer feels anything about you, accept it. Live your life without him by learning to be alone, surrounding yourself with friends, and engaging in school or work. You will find someone else as soon as you are ready.
