If you are a girl who wants to keep the relationship going with a guy who is already officially engaged, you need to know the rules of the game. You can't expect too much from this type of relationship - it's a way to have fun with your boyfriend without worrying about the evolution of the relationship. The moment you start questioning your role as a lover or start asking for more, all the fun is over. So if you want to be a lover, you have to stop stressing yourself and learn to have fun with your man; but if you feel that the situation becomes too difficult to handle, then end the relationship.
Steps
Step 1. Give it space
Don't always be the first to text him or look for him. Give him time to breathe. He does not need another wife / girlfriend / partner. He already has one, your job is to be something different to him. You need to be able to entertain him, so don't smother him with your requests. You have the right to do what you want as much as he does. Go out with your friends. Have fun. Do not stand there and check it every five minutes, otherwise it will begin to think that it is not just an adventure for you.
Step 2. Keep the relationship alive
When texting you, try to keep the conversation interesting. The main task of a lover is to make things fun and exciting. With short answers and a disinterested attitude, you will make him want to go bowling with friends or even go out with the official partner. Tell him some stories; ask him how he is; surprise him. Do whatever it takes to make the relationship interesting, as long as you don't pretend.
Step 3. Avoid labeling your report
If you ask him "What are we doing? Where is all this taking us?" you will do nothing but push it away. You have to know how to stay in your place. You're his mistress, period. It happens that some men end up marrying their mistresses, but it's much rarer than you might think. If you are dating because you are good together, don't drive your boyfriend crazy with serious conversations. This would lead him to ask you for a break.
Step 4. Get carried away
You should never look for reasons to disagree with him. A lover should always be kind and should never be a source of stress for him. You are like a vacation, a break, a moment of relaxation to forget about the problems you have with your official partner. If you start arguing, criticizing him or complaining about everything you do together, he may start wondering why he wanted to start a relationship with you to begin with.
Step 5. Don't ask questions
This should be easy to understand. You can't ask him "Where have you been?", "Why didn't you call me?", "Why are you always so busy?", "Why don't you ever come to see me?", "Who were you on the phone with?" if you want to keep the relationship going. These are not questions allowed to a lover. It is you who wanted to put yourself in this situation and it makes no sense that you are jealous or surprised when you already knew what you would be up against.
Step 6. Don't try to spend holidays or birthdays with this guy
If he feels like it, he could celebrate these events with you the next day or before, but don't expect to receive gifts or good wishes. These days are reserved and entirely dedicated to the official companion. It might be prudent enough to text him to wish him a Happy New Year / Christmas / Birthday, but a phone call would be totally out of place. As for Valentine's Day, you can bet on it what you want: it will spend it with the official partner.
Step 7. Let him contact you first
He is the one who has the lover, so he must be careful not to let himself be discovered. If he wants to contact you, he will text you or call you. If you were to try to call him or text him, you could put him in a very uncomfortable situation if his partner was also present. This is especially true at night; never try to call or text him late at night, or his partner might read your message and things could take a turn for the worse.
Step 8. Always try to look your best
As a lover, you must be gorgeous. You're not his girlfriend, so you can't go out with him wearing sandals and a sweatshirt. If you want a guy you feel comfortable with, you might want to find a boyfriend. The point of the matter is that the guy expects you to get dressed up for him, if you're his mistress. Nobody says it's an easy job.
Step 9. Make him think he is the only one
You don't want me to think that you can fall that low, even if you actually do. You are already the lover of a busy man; she doesn't have to think you're dating other guys too. But even if you were doing it, what would it matter? He didn't put a ring on your finger after all, did he?
Keep your Facebook profile clean. Don't show him pictures of you in the company of other guys
Step 10. Don't obsess over his girlfriend
If you want to keep your sanity, the less you know the better off you are. Avoid researching your mate officer and thinking about her often. The more you know about her - her looks, what she does for a living, her name - the more annoyed you will be at the idea of sharing your man with this woman. It could turn into a real obsession, you would get jealous and end up spying on her. It is not recommended for your sanity.
If you start asking your man questions about his woman, he will try to interrupt the conversation
Step 11. Pull out if you are not happy
Nobody said that playing the role of a lover is the easiest thing in the world. If you really like this guy, even knowing that you are dating someone else, and you are not looking for a serious affair, perfect! However, it is difficult to maintain the role of the lover for a long time without getting tired of the situation and starting to want something more. If you are feeling upset and frustrated, there is no need to pretend to be happy. It's very simple. If that's not your thing, cut the rope.
