Even if you try to be respectful and understanding of others, you will probably find yourself facing people you don't like sooner or later. Dealing with them can be a real torture, but if you keep a constructive attitude and act with courtesy, you will have a better chance of not having conflicts or serious problems with them.
Steps
Method 1 of 2: Part 1: Internal Actions
Step 1. Be proactive
Instead of just reacting to the person you don't like, consider your relationship with them in a proactive way. Think ahead about ways you can facilitate your relationship instead of waiting until the time for you to meet.
- Rely on logic and reason when confronting the other person instead of relying on emotions.
- Avoid being careless in your interactions. Intentionally deciding to make the best of a situation can help prevent it from getting worse, but if you let things develop naturally, they are more likely to get worse.
Step 2. Monitor your emotions
The only feelings and thoughts you have control over are your own. When interacting with people you don't like, keep calm and focus on thinking positively. If you find that your mood is turning sour, move away from this feeling quickly to avoid having a serious meltdown.
If the matter is important enough to be discussed, giving yourself a cooling-off could give you a chance to analyze what the other person said or did to upset you and understand how you need to approach them later to avoid. to do it when you feel most upset
Step 3. Analyze your feelings
Ask yourself why you don't like people you don't like. You may have a valid reason not to like someone, or the problem that exists in this relationship may be totally up to you. Usually though, you both play a certain role, and you need to be honest with yourself about the truth of the situation.
-
When analyzing the reason for your repulsion, ask yourself specific questions, such as:
- Is the problem the person in and of themselves or does it remind me of someone else?
- Am I afraid of becoming like this person or do I recognize a negative trait of my character in her?
- Is my antipathy towards this person due to a prejudice I have towards his group to which he belongs?
Deal with People You Don't Like Step 4 Step 4. Set boundaries
Know how much you are willing to endure and don't be afraid to draw a line somewhere. Even if you want to be a patient and understanding person, it's perfectly fine to admit what are the things that make you feel uncomfortable or unhappy. Understanding how much you can tolerate before you lose your temper can help you defuse a situation before it becomes explosive.
You have the right to have your own personal space and, if others invade it, you have the authorization to protect it. Drawing your mental boundaries can also help you determine when to make your voice heard and when to let things go, and the more willing you are to stand up for yourself, the less likely you are to collide with the person you're at odds with
Deal with People You Don't Like Step 5 Step 5. Try not to take things personally
Sometimes someone will intentionally take it out on you, but, in most cases, people you don't like won't go out of your way with the sole intent of making you feel bad. If the problem between you and the other person is their personality, you need to understand that their goal is not that you take their every action as a personal insult.
A good way to tell if this is a part of his personality or not is to observe how he behaves around other people. If the behavior is similar to the kind of attitude he displays towards you, you probably don't need to take those actions personally
Deal with People You Don't Like Step 6 Step 6. Observe others interacting with the person in question
If you don't know how to deal with someone, look at others and see how they handle it. By doing this, you have a chance to see what works and what doesn't without experimenting on your own.
Even if the people you observe fail to deal positively with this difficult person, you can still get a good idea of certain actions that won't work for them. Looking at the situation objectively can often give you a new and useful perspective
Deal with People You Don't Like Step 7 Step 7. Look for his positive qualities
Very rarely you will have to deal with someone without merit. Although the positive characteristics this person possesses are buried under layers of unpleasantness, identify at least one or two and focus on those traits, so that you can learn to appreciate them better.
By understanding the positive character traits of the person you don't like, you may be able to consider them in a context where they may be difficult to tolerate, to remind you that they are not that bad, or you can learn to use them to create situations of more pleasant exchange
Deal with People You Don't Like Step 8 Step 8. Trust your instincts
While you should generally try to get along with a person you don't like, if something about a specific individual leaves you with some sort of threatening feeling, don't be afraid to listen to your gut and walk away.
For example, if you recognize that a co-worker has a habit of taking credit for other people's ideas or work, you should try to avoid talking about your plans with them. Similarly, if you are a girl and you know a guy who is frequently physically intimidating or makes unwanted advances at you, you may want to stay away from him
Method 2 of 2: Part 2: External Actions
Deal with People You Don't Like Step 9 Step 1. Keep your distance
If you can afford to stay away from the person you don't like, doing so may actually be the best decision for everyone involved. Try not to make your efforts to ignore her too obvious though, as any act of rudeness you display could very likely turn against you.
Staying away from someone for some time can also help you become more objective about the relationship you have, because you won't have to deal directly with the more complex personality traits, the ones that usually get you on a rampage
Deal with People You Don't Like Step 10 Step 2. Disarm the situation before it gets out of control
If you are confronting a person you don't like and the conversation quickly begins to take on uneven tones, find a point where you can be empathetic in order to stop their conflict attempt. Doing so can defuse any hostility that is building up in her, thus making your interactions slightly more tolerable.
This point is especially important if the feeling of aversion is mutual and you often find yourself arguing with the object of your hostility. Even if the other person is looking for conflict, it will be hard for them to achieve their goal if you agree with what they say
Deal with People You Don't Like Step 11 Step 3. Change the subject during the conversation
If someone you don't like raises a topic that bothers you or gets on your nerves, changing them can minimize the harassment you feel and make it easier for them to be around.
- When you change the subject, make sure what you choose is positive or neutral.
- You can also make a natural transition instead of changing it abruptly. If you tell this person directly that you no longer want to hear what they have to say on a particular issue, you will not have good results, on the contrary, it will cause bad feelings in them towards you, they may even feel anger.
Deal with People You Don't Like Step 12 Step 4. Create a positive experience
It can be a little difficult, but if you can gradually develop positive experiences and interactions with someone you don't like, you can change your attitude and make your long-term relationship easier. Even short positive interactions are better than not having any good ones.
If possible, change the setting to become as neutral as possible when trying to create positive experiences. If you continuously interact with each other in the same context, the place itself could contribute to a general bad mood and hostility
Deal with People You Don't Like Step 13 Step 5. Be firm and direct
If all else fails, try to let the person you don't like know what your boundaries are and politely persuade them not to cross them. If you cross this line, ask her firmly, but also kindly, to stop. She probably didn't have any bad intentions, and she'll generally be willing to loosen up her unsympathetic behavior at least a little if you ask her politely.
- There are discreet ways to do this. For example, if you don't want to sacrifice a lot of time dealing with someone you don't like, you can let them know from the beginning of the conversation that you only have 5-10 minutes to spend.
- If someone you don't like doesn't respect the boundaries you've set, you have the right to be firm and tell them to back down. Kindly notify him the first time, and if that doesn't work, remind him seriously and take steps to show him that you really mean it. For example, if this person continues to talk even after you tell them you have no time left for them, repeat it and walk away.
Deal with People You Don't Like Step 14 Step 6. Never turn the other person into a victim
Try not to lose your temper, even if she intentionally touches all the pain points she can to get you on a rampage. The moment you give in to the temptation to put this person in his place, you allow him to have the knife on the side of the handle, demonstrating behavior that can be used against you and in his defense.
If your attitude is always calm, respectful and polite, other people will be more likely to believe your side of the story if a serious conflict arises between you and the person you're having trouble with
Deal with People You Don't Like Step 15 Step 7. Be assertive towards bullies
Often, people are difficult to deal with due to their conflicting personalities. But when an individual doesn't like you for bullying you, the whole situation changes. Prevent him from becoming your executioner. Push back the attack, but only enough to communicate that you won't tolerate any abuse, not enough to start a conflict yourself.
If you exacerbate the situation by becoming argumentative or defensive, you can make things worse. If, on the other hand, you act calmly and refuse to lower your head when someone tries to bully you and force you to do something you don't want, the situation could cause bad feelings for both parties, but the person in question may lose their interest and stop bothering you
Deal with People You Don't Like Step 16 Step 8. Know when to leave
You can try all the tricks we've given you but, sometimes, you can't do anything to make interactions with people you don't like easy to tolerate. If they refuse to respect you or try to make you agitated further, the best thing you can do for everyone is to simply walk away from the situation.
