"He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not" … if only flowers could tell you if you really love someone! Thankfully, there are some easy ways to tell if a special guy is right for you or just another crush. By looking at a few simple factors, you may be able to determine for sure if what you are feeling is real or not.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Examine Your Thoughts
Step 1. Consider how often you think about him
When you love someone, other aspects of your life take a back seat. If you are in love with a guy, you may find yourself thinking about him often, even when you really don't want to. Is it your first thought in the morning and your last thought before bedtime? This is a sign that you have deep feelings for him.
Either way, infatuation can have the same effect. Since thinking about someone isn't enough to tell if you're in love, follow the other steps to better assess the situation
Step 2. Try to understand how much you want to be in his company
The person you love shouldn't intimidate you. Loving also means feeling perfectly comfortable with the guy in question: you like spending time with him because you have no problem being completely yourself. However, if it makes you feel nervous, anxious, or insecure, the relationship may not have gotten into the territory of love yet.
If you still have butterflies in your stomach when you're with him, don't worry. Chances are that at some point your feelings will deepen - you simply need to spend time with him and develop more confidence in each other
Step 3. Notice if you happen to think about moments spent with him
People who love each other usually love to remember the intense and fulfilling moments they lived together. Stop for a moment and think about all the things you have done together: do you have heart-warming emotions, happiness or nostalgia? In this case, it is very likely that you are in love.
If the memories hardly have any particular effect on you, it is possible that it is not yet love. If you don't have experiences to share yet, you probably haven't spent enough time together for the seed of love to take root
Step 4. Do you realistically think about a future together?
When you're infatuated, it's common to have fantasies about the future - escaping together to a tropical beach, exploring the world, and so on. However, when you love someone, these fantasies tend to be a little more realistic. You may find yourself having thoughts like, "I wonder if we will live together when we're done studying" or "I wonder if we could get a dog." In this case, it can be a sign of your excitement at the idea of having a real future with your boyfriend, irrefutable proof that it is about love.
Part 2 of 2: Examine Your Behavior
Step 1. Find out if you smile spontaneously when you are with him
The person you love should always make you happy when you are with him, or almost. If she can make you smile even when you're angry, that's a good sign. If you can't help but smile when you are together, it is almost certainly love. Your smile should be open and sincere, not forced.
A friend can help you figure out if you smile when you are with him or not. Ask her to look at your face while you are in the company of this guy and other people, then take a few minutes to forget that you made this request to her. If your friend realizes that your face lights up every time he talks to you, chances are you have feelings for this guy
Step 2. Observe how often you talk about him
Loving someone usually means naming them often and willingly simply because you can't get them out of your head. If you happen to be enthusiastic about the latest progress you've made with him even when a conversation has nothing to do with it, you definitely have feelings. You can ask your friends for help in this case: they will certainly be able to tell you if you talk a lot about him.
If talking about love makes you intimidated, obviously this step is not a good choice. In this case, you may be able to avoid talking about the relationship even if you love it; then use the other tips in this article
Step 3. Observe how often you check your social media profiles
Nowadays, thanks to the internet, people in love have much more opportunities to stay in touch and keep up to date. If you constantly check his profile on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and so on, to find out what he does or to admire a new selfie that portrays him in all his glory, surely you have at least a big crush on yourself. Even simple actions like checking every night to see if he's online to talk to him can be a clear sign of interest.
Of course, this signal is not enough to confirm what you are feeling. Looking at someone's photos every day can simply mean that you find them attractive, so use this tip only by relating them to others to get a complete picture of the situation
Step 4. Notice how you behave with him in a group setting
The way you interact with this guy in the presence of other people can help you figure out if you love him or not. If you find yourself listening carefully to everything he says or hanging on his lips every time he opens his mouth, chances are you have deep feelings about him. If this guy's experiences and ideas interest you much more than others', that's an even clearer sign. Being in love with a guy also means giving importance to what he says, without stopping only on his physical appearance.
Step 5. See if you prefer it to other male friends or boys that you are infatuated with
As stated at the beginning of this article, when you are in love, everything takes a back seat. If you find that you want to spend time with him while having many other male friends, then he is an important person to you. Maybe you also have more than one crush and you still give this guy priority (it's normal to be attracted to multiple people, the important thing is to hang out one at a time).
Love cannot be measured by the time spent together and it is not necessary to be permanently glued. Even though you love this guy, you shouldn't always be with him. People who love each other give each other the opportunity to spend time with friends and family
Advice
- When you talk to your friends about guys, try to figure out who you think about. If he's the only guy on your mind during every single conversation, it's possible he's more of a crush.
- Physical contact is another way to show affection. If you often touch him at school or work and he seems to be playing along, that's a good sign.
- If you have a trusted friend who has already been in love, ask her for advice. It may be able to help you decipher your emotions.
