You have a boyfriend who you love, and who loves you. Perfect, isn't it? Until one day she introduces you to her best friend, and you can't accept her. You're sad because when your boyfriend talks to you about her, or says something about her, you feel hurt. You know this is not good because it damages your relationship with your boyfriend, which would otherwise go beautifully. The following might not work for you, but at least it will make you realize that you are not the only person experiencing this type of problem.
Steps
Step 1. Talk to your boyfriend
Let him know that his friend doesn't like you. This will likely hurt him, but hiding it would hurt more people.
Step 2. If possible, explain why
It's strange, but sometimes it happens that you can't stand other girls, for no apparent reason; it is difficult for a boy to understand this concept. Unless you're a girl who hates everyone she meets, he should understand why you feel this way.
Step 3. Once you have cleared up with him, be polite
Do not comment if she names her friend in the future. Leave it.
Step 4. In the case of meetings or meetings that this person also attends, decide whether to go or not
If you decide to go, avoid direct interaction with her, and, if you can't avoid it, then reduce it to the bare minimum. It's hard to pretend, but at least you will send the signal that you are doing it just out of courtesy, and then you will let her know that she would do well not to cross that line
Step 5. Repeat the above steps repeatedly
Hopefully, your boyfriend will understand that it is best to reduce the number and length of meetings between you and her friend. However, you may get irritated if she and your boyfriend are in frequent contact, and you are left out because he realizes you don't like her. Learn to live with this situation, otherwise things could get worse.
Advice
- Relax, he has chosen to be with you. Don't drive him away with your irrational fears.
- The reason you probably don't like her is because you feel threatened by her on a primal level (many women can't tolerate other women "for no reason"). There is probably no reason to feel threatened (it's biological conditioning), so try your best to get to know her and, above all, to respect your boyfriend's choice of wanting to spend some time with her friend.. Try to imagine yourself in his place (he doesn't like your best friend), to understand his point of view.
- Try to pretend that this person's presence doesn't touch you. Pretend you don't know her and don't know anything. Convince yourself that in these cases ignorance equals bliss. Tell yourself that you trust your boyfriend and know what's best for your relationship. You have to trust him, even though you feel threatened.
- Don't fight a war you can't win; it means that your boyfriend loves her friend and she loves him (sometimes it seems like she loves him). You will not achieve anything other than causing tension in your relationship.
- Don't seek confrontation with this girl, as you may be doing more harm to you than to her. They may have known each other since they were little, and you are starting a different relationship with your boyfriend that could last for the rest of your life; it doesn't matter if they have been in a relationship in the past.
- Maybe if you fake it long enough, you might really get used to the idea. Keep your fingers crossed.
- Try to talk to him and his friend.
Warnings
- Eventually you may come to think that her friend is fine with you, but be warned, because you may just build up tension, and, one day, explode! If you genuinely don't like her, chances are she'll still really dislike you.
- Your mental health could be compromised by this.
- By insisting on her friend, you may turn your boyfriend away.
You may be in a lot of pain, so don't try to pretend to be her friend, because you will feel worse.
