Not all of us are, by nature, social animals. However, this does not mean that we do not need the love and company of people. It may take more effort, but we are all capable of making and maintaining lasting friendships. Before calling yourself a "lone wolf", read this article to learn how to make friends and be sociable despite your shyness and pessimism.
Steps
Method 1 of 2: Overcome Personal Reserves
Step 1. Get rid of your insecurities
If you continually criticize yourself and tell yourself that people don't like you and that no one wants to be around you, you will pass this message on to everyone and, as a result, no one will ever take you seriously. Before making friends, it is important that you believe you can succeed.
- Shy people tend to be unsociable because they take it for granted that others can reject them. Try not to bandage your head early and take things as they come.
- Tell yourself that you are a sociable person. Even if you are not convinced at first, the more you repeat to yourself that you are able to make friends and be a pleasant and interesting person, the easier it will be to interact with people. Try repeating this to yourself every day. If you catch yourself criticizing yourself and saying, "I am really inept", immediately correct this thought and think that it is not true.
- Make a list of your strengths. Whoever you are, you certainly have some good qualities to share with a friend. List all the things you think you can offer people, such as being reliable, funny, intelligent, etc. Don't focus on superficial things like money and physical appearance.
Step 2. Think Positive
Everyone wants to surround themselves with optimistic, cheerful and happy people. Remember that being pessimistic is a choice. Nobody is born a pessimist. However, some practice will be needed to change your attitude.
- Try to get rid of all negative thoughts. Wherever you are and whatever you are doing, try to find at least one positive aspect of the situation you are in.
- It is important to be positive when talking to others. Nobody wants people around who are constantly complaining about their bad luck. Especially when you meet new people. Share the positive aspects of your life, not the negative ones; people will immediately find you fascinating and will want to get to know you better.
Step 3. Stop judging others
Nobody is perfect, not even you. If you keep waiting for perfect people to approach you, you will be waiting for a very long time. This doesn't necessarily mean you need to be friends with everyone, but you still need to be willing to get to know people before turning them away.
Your friends don't have to be the same as you. In fact, the best friendships often arise between completely different people. Don't reject people just because they don't share your musical tastes or political views. What matters is how you feel when you are in their company
Step 4. Be authentic
If you want to make sincere and lasting friendships, you will need to be ready to let others into your life and create a feeling of mutual trust. Ask people how they are and listen to what they have to tell you. Offer your support to want to confide in you, and keep what he tells you to yourself.
- Don't badmouth your friends. While some sporadic gossip among friends is harmless, too much gossiping or bad-mouthing someone behind their back will make you lose points and your friends will have a hard time trusting you in the future.
- Learn to put yourself in others' shoes. If you have an argument with someone, consider their point of view as well and think about how you would feel in their place. Learning to empathize will help you fight anger, jealousy, and resentment, all of which could hinder future friendships.
Method 2 of 2: Finding Opportunities to Meet New People
Step 1. Keep your body language at bay
At a party, or meeting, your body language matters a lot. Avoid keeping your arms folded, sitting in a corner, glaring at people, or hanging out on the phone. All of these things make people realize that you don't want them to approach you.
You smile! By smiling, you will make it clear that you are open to meeting, you will not be intimidated and you will be more attractive. Even if you have to force yourself to laugh, do it! Eventually, it will come naturally to you
Step 2. Talk to strangers
If you want to be a sociable person, you have to separate your "social life" from your "work", "school" from "family". To be truly social, you need to be friendly at all times in your life. Practice saying hello to everyone you meet and being friendly with everyone, from the banker to the teacher, to the waiter at your favorite bar.
Step 3. Take the initiative
Don't wait for others to always call you and propose to go out. Staying passive and not being proactive will give others the impression that you are not interested in their friendship. If you want to see a friend, pick up the phone and call them.
- Consider throwing a party and inviting all your friends and colleagues. Tell them to bring friends and make an effort to meet mutual friends.
- Offer fun activities to your friends. Invite them to lunch, to the movies or to play sports.
Step 4. Say yes to new opportunities
Each new situation you experience will allow you to meet new people. If someone invites you to a party where you don't know anyone, accept. You never know who you might meet; knowing none of those present, you will have nothing to lose.
