Everyone has ever met a bully or had an enemy as a kid. Many, however, could say today that, in the end, they have become friends. Others, however, will say that the relationship has never changed, even after years. Here are some tips for making friends with an enemy.
Steps
Step 1. Understand why you were enemies in the past
Did you do something bad to him or her? Be prepared to apologize, even if it doesn't seem like it was entirely your fault.
Step 2. Approach your enemy and say you want to solve your problems
Apologize, and ask to start over. Explain why you don't want to hold a grudge against him anymore. If you can, try to talk about problems you have had in the past.
Tell this person that anger and resentment is not worth it. You could have had fun together instead of hating each other, ignoring each other and going to war
Step 3. Give him / her your phone number or email, and tell them to contact you if they need help or just want to talk to someone
This way, you let the other person know that you no longer want to go to war. Don't give him your number, though, if you fear he might misuse it. Also remember that if he gives you his number, you must not misuse it, otherwise you will lose his trust.
Step 4. Let the other person know that you are sincere
This cannot be done simply by speaking: actions are much more explanatory than words. Smile when you meet the other person and be nice. Don't be discouraged if his attitude doesn't change right away - he may just be surprised at your change. Let him know that he can trust you by continuing to maintain a positive attitude towards him.
If you don't feel like it, and if you don't believe that talking to your enemy is necessary, or if you don't necessarily want to make a friendship but just be kinder, you can start by smiling and greeting the other person when you meet them. This will show that you no longer have a grudge against him and hopefully your attitude will be reciprocated
Step 5. Meet
Invite your enemy to your home to play video games, or billiards, or go to a mall, go shopping, or go to the cinema… anything that can suggest to your enemy that you have no bad intentions. Grow Your Friendship Gradually: Remember that you are only making friends, so you don't have to treat your enemy like he's your best friend.
Step 6. Trust your gut if it tells you to be cautious
Test the ground before you get too close. Before you confide your biggest secret to your enemy, try to tell something about yourself that possibly can also be told around. Check if this person talks about it to others. If this happens, keep a friendly attitude, but keep your distance until you are sure you can trust them.
Advice
- Don't insist. If he doesn't want to talk to you, postpone your intention to talk to another time. Be patient and you will see that your enemy will want to talk to you at some point.
- Leave him alone if he gets angry.
- Be available in case of need. It may seem strange, but if for example your enemy is being bullied, show him your friendship and defend him!
- Don't talk to him behind his back if he makes you angry. It would only put you in a bad light.
- If you don't feel comfortable going out alone with your enemy, let it be known that other friends will also be at your meeting.
- Don't be too pushy and don't pester him. Also avoid saying stupid things. He'd think you're really stupid.
- Find calm ways to alleviate your anger towards him, and find a creative idea to approach your enemy.
- Challenge yourself. Often, your enemy just has a lack of respect for you. Show him your worth by achieving important goals (in school, in sports, etc.).
- Talk to your enemy about things he / she likes… you never know, you may find common interests, and a friendship may arise.
- If your enemy hates you, and you don't know why or you just don't reciprocate, it shows that he has no reason to hate you.
- An enemy is actually a person you don't know. If you don't hang out with your enemies, how do you know them well? Over time, you may get closer and become friends.
- Make sure you take your time. The differences between you will gradually disappear and, with a little effort, you can become friends.
- Be optimist.
Warnings
- If someone is jealous of you, then be careful, a smile could make them even angrier. If he thinks you can't harm him and that you have no defense, he may be trying to harm you. So think carefully before making friends.
- If it was just verbal bullying, maybe it's just that he doesn't like you as a person. Don't fall into the trap of telling each other bad things.
- If you have hurt the other person, for example by offending them, be sure to stop this attitude first and then get closer. If you don't, or if you have a similar attitude towards other people, your enemy may question your sincerity.
- Do not give out your phone number if you are concerned that it may be misused.
- If you feel that this person is a threat to you, or someone else, tell someone, anyone, immediately. A parent, a school tutor, a teacher, the principal, a policeman… It may seem strange to you, but it is for your safety.
- This method is not for everyone. Some people have a difficult temperament, and it may be difficult to approach them. It may simply be necessary to let them go their own way.
- Don't get too close in a short time.
- If it is a dangerous person (violent, or perhaps armed), forget it, do not approach them. Talk to someone about it.
