At various times in life we can find ourselves facing an enemy, that is a person who wishes us the worst, is critical or skeptical and, in general, prevents us from achieving our goals. It is an individual who may feel threatened by our successes or our abilities, or perhaps is simply afraid of others. There is no logical or obvious reason behind his behavior. However, by using some strategies that will allow you to ignore it, you can learn to manage it and not be hindered.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Avoiding Your Enemy
Step 1. Change your way of thinking in relation to those who stand in your way
Despite appearances, you are able to control the situation. Enemies can make us feel bad. However, if you approach it with the right attitude, you will manage not to be negatively influenced.
- Focus on the positives and the most beautiful people in your life.
- Do not allow your enemy to hurt you with hostile words and gestures.
- Remember that you will spend your time and energy better on more positive and productive things, instead of reacting to the aversion of others.
- Decide where you want to go in life and follow your own path confidently.
Step 2. Don't waste your mental energy on this person
Staying calm and focused is the best strategy for dealing with the most difficult situations and people.
- Ignore comments or behaviors that your enemy might use to tease or provoke you.
- Think of something positive when your enemy approaches: "If he tries to demoralize me, I'll start thinking about last year's trip to Sardinia."
Step 3. Reject any kind of negativity it gives you
He may continually try to discourage you with inappropriate comments. In these cases, you need to prevent his observations from affecting you negatively.
- Don't take what he says seriously.
- Think of something beautiful, like a place, an experience, or a person.
- Be master of your happiness: decide who to avoid and who to listen to.
Step 4. Avoid circumstances where you might encounter him
It may be impossible for you to completely get rid of your enemy, but do everything to avoid meeting him if you can.
- If it is a colleague or classmate, avoid the places or paths where you normally cross him.
- If he is present among your virtual friends, avoid any kind of contact with him on social networks.
- If you can't completely avoid him, don't talk to him: accept his presence, but ignore any attempts at more personal contact.
Step 5. Take control when you meet
If you can't help it, you could at least make the decision not to get in touch with him or to minimize your involvement.
- Don't listen to what he tells you.
- Even if it is difficult, try not to react when he makes fun of you and provokes you.
- Never get drawn into an argument or conflict situation with him.
- If necessary, move away: if he puts you in a corner, you risk getting involved.
Part 2 of 3: Behaving the Best Way
Step 1. Be superior
Of course it's a great strategy in life, but it's even more important when an enemy goes to great lengths to demoralize you. Since you can't change whoever behaves badly towards you, you can still change the way you react.
- Don't give in to the temptation to take revenge or hurt him in any way.
- Don't react to his provocations.
Step 2. Behave in a friendly way, but don't get to know him
Your enemy will have a harder time acting mean if you are friendly towards him. It probably won't be easy for you to be nice to him - pretend, if you can't help it - but, if you throw him off with an attitude he doesn't expect, you have the opportunity to allay any kind of animosity.
- Smile and look him in the eye.
- Accept his presence, but don't speak to him.
Step 3. Focus on your goals
While he is trying to stop you from doing what you set out to do, this system is the key to not letting him influence your decisions or hinder your progress.
- Carry out whatever goal you have in mind, despite going to great lengths to sabotage you.
- Think of achieving your goals as some kind of reward for tolerating it.
- Do not behave in the same way as him: if you respect your principles, you will always be proud of yourself.
Part 3 of 3: Organizing Your Support Network
Step 1. Focus on the people who love and support you
It's easy to waste energy thinking about your enemies and how to deal with them, but you'll feel better and stronger if you don't lose sight of all the positive and helpful people in your life.
- Think about how many people support you, even if they are not physically present.
- Imagine your support network cheering on you in the toughest situations.
- Do your best to find new allies at work, school, or other places where you spend your time.
Step 2. Be positive
By maintaining a positive attitude, you will avoid investing too much time and energy thinking about the behavior of those who oppose you. This also means not forgetting the most valuable people around you, such as those who support you.
- Think about your support network whenever a negative thought assails you.
- Never lose sight of your goals and the path to achieving them.
Step 3. Cheer for yourself
Think of everything you admire about yourself and focus on your achievements. Friends and family are valuable supporters, but taking care of yourself is also important.
- List everything you have accomplished and are proud of.
- Think about a compliment you recently received from a loved one or colleague.
- Come up with an encouraging phrase (or two or three) a day: "I am the strongest person I know" or "I can handle everything that happens to me".
Advice
- Be patient. Just wait for the animosity to fade away. Eventually it will go this way.
- Don't assume that the other person is treating you badly for something you did.
- Another way to avoid an enemy is to find a quiet corner and put the earplugs or earphones in your ears and withdraw so you don't hear him speak, just stand there and ignore him.
Warnings
- Do not practice self-harm because someone is behaving badly towards you: seek help if you are thinking of harming yourself.
- If you ignore an enemy, they may get angry. Continue to avoid any kind of contact if you happen to have any.
- Don't physically attack him, no matter how badly he has done you.
- If this person continues to harass you and is overbearing, you should seek help.
