Selflessness means putting the needs of your community before your own instead of always acting in your own interest. Being selfless is not easy, but the more you practice the more you will improve in being kind and generous. When helping others to feel better and make the world a better place becomes a habit, you will realize that being selfless makes you much happier.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Having an Altruistic Mindset
Step 1. Broaden your horizons
Being selfless means having the ability to see beyond your personal concerns and empathize with others, even with those you've never met. If your problems and situation consume you, you won't have the time or energy to behave selflessly. Having a strong awareness of the world outside your head is the first step in becoming less selfish. Here are some ways to change your perspective:
- Listen to others when they speak. Really listen, instead of letting your mind wander when someone tells you their problems or an emotional story. Let yourself be completely absorbed by another person's world, just for a change.
- Stay informed on current events. Always being informed about what is happening in the world and in your city must become a fixed point.
- Read novels. Studies have shown that reading novels improves empathic skills.
- Choose topics to explore. Look around you. What are the problems facing your community? For example, maybe your city's river is so polluted that people are starting to get sick. Choose something to deepen, and read as much as possible on the topic in order to have a deeper understanding.
Step 2. Think about how others feel
Empathy and altruism go hand in hand. If you understand how a person can feel, it will be easier to act selflessly towards him. You can also empathize with people you've never met.
Put yourself in other people's shoes. If you were in that same situation, how would you feel? How would you like to be treated?
Step 3. Be selfless even when nobody notices it
Selfless people are not kind and generous because they expect to be recognized. They do it because it is the right thing to do, and because it feels good to help others when they have the opportunity to do it. Donating anonymously is a good way to be generous without needing to get something back.
Step 4. Be happy when others are
Have you ever felt happy when you made someone else happy? People sometimes wonder if it is possible to be truly selfless, since an act of selflessness can bring great pleasure. Instead of focusing on what altruism is, savor the good feelings that come from helping people. If you can be happy when others are, you will find other ways to be selfless.
Step 5. Take a selfless person as a role model
Being selfless isn't always pleasant. It is usually worth putting the needs of others before your own, but it is often difficult to act in the interest of another when you have to satisfy your own needs as well. This is why having models of selflessness could be of great help.
- Think of a person you would describe as "selfless" - an acquaintance, a celebrity, a religious figure - anyone who acts for the good of others. What selfless actions did he take? What impact did they have?
- The next time you struggle to make a selfless choice, ask yourself what that person would do in your place, and try to find strength in the answer.
Part 2 of 3: Making Selfless Choices
Step 1. Don't hurt someone for your own benefit
Whether it's something seemingly insignificant like taking the biggest piece of cake or not leaving your sister at all, or a more important decision like finding a way to get the attention of your best friend's boyfriend, don't hurt anyone for. principle. If you do this too often, you will pay the consequences. Always look for the most selfless choice, even if it turns out to be the most difficult.
Resist the temptation to cheat, steal, or deceive someone, even if you're sure you won't get caught
Step 2. Don't value your time more than someone else's
Are you the type who gets impatient when you have to queue at the post office or checkout at the supermarket? When you feel your blood pressure go up, remember that every other person in the room has a life exactly like you. Time is as precious to them as it is to you. If you keep this in mind, it will be easier to behave selflessly when impatience threatens to bring out the worst part of you.
Don't put your problems on others. If you're having a bad day, you don't have the right to make it a burden to others
Step 3. Choose the option that helps most people
Putting your wishes or those of your family before the needs of an entire community is not true altruism. How can you meet the needs of as many people as possible if you only help the people who are close to you? Be a good example for those around you and choose the best option for everyone.
Step 4. Forgive and forget
If someone has stepped on you and apologizes, do your best not to hold a grudge. The altruistic approach involves seeing the situation from the other person's point of view, and realizing that it is always better to cultivate peace, love and forgiveness instead of resentment and hatred. Forgiving someone who has wronged you can be very difficult, but it is also utterly selfless.
Part 3 of 3: Performing Selfless Actions
Step 1. Volunteer
It is the best way to practice altruism. When you give your time and skills for free, what you get in return is the gratification of having done your part to help your community. Studies show that volunteering can increase happiness and promote longevity. There are endless ways to volunteer, so identify a need and determine what you can do to contribute.
- Homeless or animal shelters and other nonprofits to help those in need are always on the lookout for volunteers.
- If you want to make your specific skills available, try to work with an organization that can benefit from your help. For example, if you are a qualified teacher, you could organize Italian lessons in your local library.
Step 2. Donate what you can
Donating money and material goods is another selfless gesture to be done as often as possible. It doesn't mean you have to donate more than you can afford. Evaluate your budget and decide how much you can give, and then make the commitment to donate that amount, even if it means giving up some extras.
- You could choose a couple of associations to make regular donations to.
- Getting into the habit of giving something to those who give charity on the street is a selfless gesture that you can do every day.
- Donating food, clothing and other material goods to homeless shelters, third world organizations, animal shelters and so on is a good way to reciprocate.
Step 3. Always be there for friends and family
We all have days when we would like to turn off the phone and shut the world out. However, doing it too often means you can't be a permanent presence for friends and family when they need your help. Find ways to be present and help those who are close to you and rely on you in times of need.
Step 4. Be selfless every day
Give your seat on the train to the elderly lady or pregnant woman. Keep the door open for the people behind you. You pay the bill if you notice that the person at the table next to you is short of cash. It's impossible to be completely selfless all the time - you can't offer lunch for everyone or pull yourself "in your underwear" to help everyone - but try to find meaningful ways to be selfless on a daily basis.
Step 5. Remember to take care of yourself
Being selfless comes at a very high emotional cost if you don't give yourself the time to regain your energy. If you find yourself always taking care of the needs of others and saying "yes" when you need a break, then maybe you need to take a step back and focus on yourself for a while. If you are not physically and emotionally healthy, you will not be strong enough to "be there" for others, so be sure to take care of yourself appropriately.
