If you fully understand your life, you have the opportunity to live it more meaningfully. In addition, you will be able to understand others and yourself better. By observing the way you relate to the world around you, you can discover new truths about your identity and way of life. It's an attempt that can cost you time and energy, but it's worth it.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Know Yourself
Step 1. Practice full consciousness
According to some studies, most people are not aware of themselves, their behaviors and their desires. It is easy to portray yourself as the protagonist of your own existence, but consider what you are probably unaware of about yourself. By practicing full consciousness, you have the opportunity to observe yourself and your life more objectively. Full consciousness is based on two elements:
- Pay attention to yourself. Think about who you are right now. What are you thinking about? What do you feel? How would you describe your behaviors? By learning to study yourself and your thoughts at all times, you will be able to be more aware of your emotions and reactions.
- Observe without judging. When you have a pretty strong emotional reaction, the most helpful thing to do is to objectively analyze your behavior. Ask yourself if it was worth it to react in a certain way. Rather than allowing emotion to guide your life by denying you the ability to reflect, consider for a minute where your feelings come from and how you should react.
Step 2. Consider how what you do matches what you believe
People prone to self-reflection tend to behave correctly and put themselves in the shoes of others. The key is to understand if your behavior reflects the values you believe in. Do you respect the principles that everyone should follow according to your point of view? List the qualities you consider most important in others, then ask yourself how you might cultivate them.
Step 3. Don't run away from reality
When people lead unsatisfying lives, they avoid looking inward and miss the opportunity to get to know each other. In these cases, they resort to alcohol, drugs, unnecessary entertainment, or other problematic behaviors. Resist these temptations. Think that self-knowledge is hard work that you shouldn't shirk or escape from.
Step 4. Consider the people you compare yourself to
When someone tries to get to know each other better, they instinctively begin to make comparisons with others. For example, if he has just changed jobs, he tends to compare himself with new and old colleagues to assess his skills. Keep in mind that it is common to make similar comparisons when you want to develop a deeper knowledge of yourself. However, instead of envying those who occupy a higher place than yours or becoming attached to those who are inferior, notice the comparisons you instinctively make. Even before your actual skills, consider them as a barometer that allows you to understand what is important to you.
For example, don't let envy take over if you make constant comparisons between your small apartment and your friends' more beautiful and spacious homes. Rather, keep in mind that from this comparison you can understand what your priorities are. Ask yourself why the size of your home is important to you: do you want to be more financially secure? Are you interested in expanding your family? Or do you want to be respected by the community you live in? Use your comparisons to know your priorities, not to fuel envy and jealousy
Step 5. Watch yourself in a video
According to some studies, the way people imagine themselves does not always correspond to reality. In order to develop a deeper insight into your life, record yourself talking or interacting with someone, as if it were a video blog. Pay attention to your voice, body language, intonation, and facial expressions. Ask yourself if everything you see in the video matches the perception of your image.
Step 6. Remember that your life is not static
There is no person who is always the same as himself and unchanging over time. Life is full of tests, changes and dynamic interactions with others. Try to maintain a healthy balance between staying true to what you believe and want and recognizing when your values and expectations need to change. Try to see your personal development not as an obstacle to understanding a single truth, but rather as a journey that will lead you to be more aware of the many facets of your personality.
Step 7. Get a personality test
Personality tests help you have a clearer idea of your personality, desires and abilities. There are various types, although Myers-Briggs is one of the most popular. The studies they are based on are not very reliable, so you should take the results with a grain of salt. However, it is also true that the outlined profile allows you to understand if the perception of your image corresponds to the evaluation of the test. Did you learn something you didn't expect? Have you met any new facets of your personality or image? You can take a personality test for free on many websites.
Step 8. Meditate
According to some studies, people who engage in meditation practice are more likely to get to know each other in a more thorough and objective way. So, take a course or learn meditation techniques to get used to having self-awareness. If you are unfamiliar with traditional meditation, you may receive similar benefits from engaging in activities that require concentration and repetition, such as running, cycling, or knitting. When you meditate, it suits you:
- Respect a certain routine. Meditate every day at the same time and in the same place.
- Maintain proper posture.
- To breath deeply.
- Remove distractions, worries and nagging thoughts.
- Use mantras to stay focused.
Step 9. List the goals you intend to achieve in your life
Goals are one of the keys to living a happy and fulfilling life. People who work hard to reach an important milestone say they feel more satisfied and more confident about themselves. Therefore, it is better to set positive goals (like learning a new skill) than negative ones (like not getting math wrong). To make sense of the goals you want to set for yourself, do the following:
- Make sure they are reachable and reasonable. Don't mind "becoming a billionaire", but choose a goal that you can achieve in your life, like "becoming more efficient at work".
- Set a goal that you can control. There are wonderful things in the world, but also completely beyond our control. For example, winning the lottery is not a goal you can control.
- Think about where you would like to be in 5 years, but also in 10 or 20 years. Feel free to dream about which direction you would like to go. Imagination is one of the most important tools that allows you to steer your life towards a bright future.
- Think about all the aspects of your life. How do you want your professional career to be? Your family? Your social life? Your personal growth? Your hobbies? Don't limit yourself to one particular sector, but think about all the most important activities.
- Break bigger goals into smaller, achievable goals. Surely if they are huge and indeterminate, like "becoming my own boss", they will be more difficult to achieve. However, if you break them down, they will become more accessible. For example, the first step in becoming your own boss might be to expand your contacts in order to develop a customer base. If you move in this direction, you can start right away.
- Make an action plan. When you have a clearer idea of the main objectives to be pursued and the goals that compose them, you can set to work to achieve them one at a time. Strive for great things and reward yourself every time you make progress.
Part 2 of 4: Express yourself
Step 1. Keep a journal
When you write, you have the opportunity to reflect on the deepest desires, the most hidden secrets and the prospects for life. Get to know yourself better by writing down your thoughts every day. Set a timer for 15 minutes to put everything on your mind on paper. The diary will be a valuable tool that will allow you to have a broader view of yourself and develop it over the years. If you get stuck, try to answer the following questions:
- What is the most interesting thing that happened to me today?
- What do I dream of during the day?
- What topics do I have difficulty writing about?
- Who are the 10 people they care about most?
Step 2. Tell your life
Often our memories take the form of a story, as happens to biographies and autobiographies. By organizing the story of your life, you will be able to process memories and sort out the confusion of numerous pieces of information. Reflect a few minutes on how to tell your life. What are the most significant memories? What experiences have transformed you into the person you are today? What direction has your existence taken? Try to rethink your experience or talk about it with friends. You might also consider more formal ways to convey your memories, such as:
- Write a memoir or autobiography.
- Compose a photo album.
- Making a short film.
- Create a comic novel.
Step 3. Express yourself through the outward appearance
Appearance is one of the first ways to communicate who you are to others. At the same time, it allows you to have control over yourself. In fact, many shrewd and thoughtful people reflect on how their image is connected to their tastes and the values they believe in. Therefore, consider experimenting with your look to learn what you like and, by extension, learn more about your life as well. For example, you can:
- Choose a color of clothes that you have never worn before.
- Try new hairstyles.
- Get a tattoo or a piercing.
- Find a designer of clothes or accessories that you particularly adore.
- Be aware of the rules in professional circles. For example, in some workplaces it is forbidden to display tattoos and piercings.
Step 4. Unleash your artistic streak
Many people are able to deepen their knowledge of themselves when they engage in creative pursuits. By expressing your creativity, you will be able to better understand what your tastes are and, at the same time, perfect a skill that allows you to better tell your experience. If you don't know where to start, consider taking a course at an art workshop. If you already have a passion like this, take the time to cultivate it every day. Here are some suggestions:
- Sculpture
- Painting
- Creative writing (poetry, fiction or non-fiction)
- Blogging
- Photography
- Dance
- Wood processing
- Ceramic
- Gardening
Part 3 of 4: Stay in Touch with Others
Step 1. Build strong relationships
Nobody lives in isolation: every human being depends to a large extent on the relationships he establishes with others, especially with the people who are part of his life. So, to get to know yourself better, you need to get to know the people you love better. Not only will you discover amazing things about yourself, but you can also get help in the most confusing or destabilizing moments of your life. To cultivate strong relationships, you need to:
- Put yourself in others' shoes.
- Learn to forgive.
- Demonstrate that you can listen.
- Be willing to talk and show yourself proactive.
Step 2. Find an objective listener
To develop a more careful view of your life, you have to admit that sometimes there is a risk of deceiving yourself. Maybe you don't know how to recognize your prejudices or maybe you think you are a more generous person than you can see on the outside. To fill your gaps and eliminate negative mental patterns, you should find an intelligent and objective person who can help you discover the darkest corners of your soul.
Many people find the intervention of a psychotherapist, psychologist or psychiatrist useful
Step 3. Pay attention to the behavior of others
To get to know yourself better, the information we obtain by observing the behavior of the people with whom we relate is fundamental. Think about the messages that are transmitted to you when you talk to old friends and new acquaintances. Try interpreting them to develop a broader view of your life, your behaviors and your values.
Keep in mind that not everyone gets along well with others. Pay particular attention to the reactions of people you respect, love and value
Part 4 of 4: Explore the World
Step 1. Be aware of the world around you
People can be influenced by circumstances in a subtle and subconscious but significant way. Do not believe that you are detached from the reality you live in: your life is inevitably shaped by the world around you. Even if you can't (and don't have to) escape, what you can do is learn about the environment you are in. In this way, you will be able to understand more clearly to what extent it has shaped your existence.
Step 2. Identify the cultural influences that affect you
Research shows that in some cultures speech is regarded as an important means of self-awareness, while in others silence is valued. Try to understand if the culture in which you were born and raised has affected your perception of yourself and the priorities you set in life. Analyze the cultural background to which you belong and compare it with others to realize its conditioning.
Step 3. Broaden your horizons
Habits are a healthy and important aspect of daily life. Sometimes, however, they can make us slaves to routine, preventing us from discovering new places and ideas. Move the usual routine looking for different opportunities. Here are some great tips to broaden your horizons:
- Take a course on an unfamiliar topic.
- Find out about an original idea.
- Visit a place you've never seen before.
- Talk to strangers.
Step 4. Volunteer
Think about the causes you care about most and spend a few hours a week serving them. You will be able to discover your potential and understand the reality that surrounds you. You will meet people who share your ideals and your vision of the world, but also people who come from a completely different cultural background from yours. By helping others, you may even have the opportunity to embark on a new career path.
Step 5. Learn what is happening in the world
Read the newspapers every day. Make sure you choose reputable newspapers and news agencies to get the most accurate and truthful information on events happening locally, nationally and internationally. Think about your reactions. In which direction do you think the world is going? What can you do to help out or turn things around? What's the most important to you now?
Advice
- Find a balance between your inner perceptions (for example, by meditating) and external observation (for example, by reading newspapers). Life is a combination of internal and external factors, so you need to familiarize yourself with both to get to know yourself.
- Tell friends and family about your intention to develop a broader and deeper view of your life. They will be able to provide you with directions or offer you a more objective perspective.
- Don't close yourself off mentally. You will be able to gain a deeper understanding of your life by interacting with others, cultivating hobbies, unleashing your creativity, and volunteering. It won't happen if you force yourself. Live a healthy, normal life and be patient. You will be aware of it in a natural way.
Warnings
- Don't resort to mind-altering substances to develop a broader view of your life. They will only allow you to escape from reality. They won't offer you the answers you are looking for, but they will have negative health consequences.
- Many people are afraid or do not want to see the less pleasant sides of themselves and their unfairness. Remember that everyone has their flaws and you make no difference. Be honest about your weaknesses so that you are committed to overcoming them - don't run away from yourself.
