If you are a middle-aged single woman and you own a cat (or more cats), you don't have to be labeled a "cat lady". More and more women today are choosing to live alone, and a cat provides them with the same benefits as other pets, without the chores associated with less dependent animals, such as dogs. Even if the stereotype of the "cat lady" always prevails, you can always manage to own a cat without receiving any labels.
Steps
Step 1. Try to understand what needs to be done to avoid being called a cat lady
Being a middle-aged woman with a cat doesn't necessarily make you a cat lady.
- Usually a cat lady is a middle-aged woman, but with so many cats that she can be considered a compulsive accumulator of animals. Female cats usually don't have enough space to safely house large numbers of cats, often confining them to one room or confined spaces all the time. So if you live in the countryside and have a lot of land available, or have a house with a large garden, you can also own many cats without necessarily being called a cat lady.
- Female cats also tend to have a relationship with animals similar to that with humans. Often a cat lady refers to her cats as "children" and makes financial and social decisions thinking about the impact they could have on them. Some may reject this idea, although considering your pet as a pet is a typical trait of animal lovers. What matters most is the "way" you show affection for your cats when you talk to others.
Step 2. Observe your behavior and the signals you send out
Do you act like a cat lady? Think about how you live your life. Do you constantly talk about your cats referring to them as your "babies"? Do you often talk to friends and colleagues about unnecessary details about your cats? Do you avoid social contexts, like a date or an afternoon with friends, just because you want to stay indoors with your cats, for fear that they will feel sad and lonely without you? Do you keep lots of photos of your cats on your office desk, or even a large collage hanging on the wall? If you answered "yes" to all of these questions, you are dangerously close to cat territory. It is best to make some changes before passing the point of no return.
Step 3. Remember that your cats are animals, while your friends are humans
Sure, it's great that you love and adore your pets, however you need to understand that your cats see you as their mistress, not their mom. It is important to keep this in mind because you will most likely outlive them. Thinking that your cat is more than just a pet can both make you consider yourself a cat lady, and make you feel very sad should it pass away.
Step 4. Reduce the number of photos of your cat around the house and on your desk
It is perfectly fine to keep some photos on the table, on the desk and at the entrance, but if there are too many, you just shout "I'm a cat lady".
Step 5. Choose to socialize rather than stay home with cats
Having a cat is wonderful because it doesn't need to be taken out for a walk, it's independent. Cats like to be alone for a long time. Take advantage of it and go out with friends instead of staying home to cuddle your furry friend. He will forgive you for going on a date.
- Give the cat something to play while you are away. If you have two cats it's even better, they can keep each other company so they won't feel alone.
- If you have chosen a Siamese or similar breed, who suffers from loneliness and bonds with only one human, it will be more difficult for you to leave him alone. In this case, you may want to get another cat or get a pet sitter to take care of him when you are out for a long time.
Step 6. Avoid talking about your cat when you are on a date or with friends
If your cat has done something extremely funny or cute, then talk about it, but only occasionally. If, on the other hand, you hear the story of a friend talking about what her daughter did the day before, don't try to contribute to the conversation by coming up with a story about your cat. Your friend may think that you are comparing your cat to her daughter, a typical cat lady behavior.
Step 7. Two cats are more than enough
As difficult as it may seem, if you own more than two cats you can go from "animal lover" to "animal collector". In some circumstances you can keep three or four cats, if you have a very large property available, for example, or in borderline situations, if you have saved a litter of kittens. Otherwise you are creating a colony of cats that involve clutter, bad smell and bad etiquette for their mistress.
Step 8. Do not dress cats in dresses or costumes
Do not buy or accept clothes for your cat as a gift, or you will be branded for life as a cat lady. Also try to resist the urge to dress him up as a carnival angel. The same thing goes for your wardrobe. Any sweater or t-shirt with a cat printed on it goes straight to caritas.
Exception made for cat health reasons. If your vet advises you to put on a coat for the cold or to keep him from scratching, do so. They are therapies, not fashion accessories
Step 9. Sterilize or castrate your cats
The main problem with a pet-overrun society is that owners often don't castrate their pets. Contribute to the solution, and have your cats spayed or neutered. Female cats often use the excuse that cats need to have fun and that it is not fair to deprive them of their sexuality. The truth is, failing to care for litters is an act of cruelty. In order not to be a cat lady you have to be a responsible mistress.
Step 10. Accept the label
You can also decide to accept the term cat lady by eliminating any negative connotations. As long as you are a responsible mistress, there are many positive aspects of being a cat lady:
- Tell people to keep abandoned cats off the road and make sure they have a roof over their heads and live a healthy life.
- Laugh out loud when someone makes a rude remark. Try to ridicule the person who criticized you with an equally caustic joke. Nobody is perfect after all.
- Explain that you are doing this for the welfare of the animals. In any case, it's your business, you don't have to give explanations to anyone.
- Find a group of cat lovers who share the same passion for felines as you. This way you will have a way to deepen your interest in cats without frightening your friends.
- Remember that there are cat cats out there who love their pets as much as you love yours and flirt with them by purring and meowing. Marrying a cat will increase the number of pets in the house, you can change the "maximum two cats" rule to "maximum two cats per human", as long as you are both responsible for cleaning the litter box and neutering / neutering. A house full of cats can be nice, but every cat must have their own litter box.
- You can also mention famous female cats to support your cause, such as Brigitte Bardot.
Advice
- If you like to see kittens from time to time, consider working as a volunteer in an abandoned animal shelter to socialize with them once or twice a year, rather than keeping yours fertile. Stray and abandoned cats need to learn how to interact with people to find a good home, so you do them good if you play with them, give them attention and entertain them. Even adult stray cats sometimes need to socialize, if you like having lots of cats this can be a good way to make your wish come true. Take care of the cats up for adoption and prepare them to live in their future homes. This way you will also be able to be in contact with the people of the shelter and the other volunteers, none of them will think that you are silly.
- If you like cats more than humans, try to improve your interpersonal relationships by joining groups that share your passion on social networks, meet other cats in pet shops and cat competitions, in this way people who you will meet will be as polite as cats. Cat owners have a subculture created to respond to the instinctive education of cats. They too have barriers, are resolute and possess different social skills.
- Consider using a Roomba. Many cats like to get on the Roomba while it cleans. Some even learn to control it by placing their paws on the motion sensors.
- If your cat rules your life, relax and accept it. She does a great job of supporting you emotionally, and her needs are much simpler than those of your boss, your parents, and some of your girlfriends.
- If you can't part with the cat lady lifestyle right away, try to do it gradually. For example, you can reduce the number of photos and set aside sweaters with cats starting this year.
- Posting cat photos and videos on your Facebook page and other social networks can help you find other animal lovers. Do not be shy. The important thing is that when you send your cat photos to someone, you use a separate address list for all your cat-loving friends, so as not to disturb other people.
-
The difference between an "eccentric cat lady" and a "crazy cat lady" is given by the state of hygiene and health of the cats and of your home.
- Make sure there is always enough litter for all cats, replace it every day and don't let the garbage pile up in the house. Keep all cat toys in perfect condition. Throw away anything broken and leave enough room to be able to move comfortably.
- Always clean up the cat's needs. A house that smells like litter is the characteristic feature of the "cat".
- Cat jokes are much more fun for those people who like cats, use them for them and pick a few different jokes when dealing with dog lovers and people who don't like cats. Pay attention to the people around you and get used to the fact that we are all different, accept them for who they are and be proud of who you are. There are worse things in life than being a cat lady!
- Avoid talking to your cat as if it were a child. He has no idea what you say to him anyway, and humans looking at you might think you're crazy. You can give it nicknames, if you like, such as "little heart" and "amorino".
Warnings
- If you need to get rid of some cats, NEVER leave them outdoors. Find them a suitable home to host them or contact an association that can take care of them.
- When a person tries to stereotype you, he only undermines your sense of purpose and satisfaction, he tries to control you and make you see the world from his point of view. Always question the reasons that lead people to call you "cat lady" and also the belief that they are normal and you are not. The stereotype of the cat lady is a generalization made by a person who believes he can say what is normal and can judge others for their life choices.
- If you can only relate to animals, you can consider the idea of undertaking a therapy to be able to overcome all the emotional barriers and mental blocks that prevent you from being comfortable with other human beings. Don't limit your sociability unnecessarily. If you can relieve your fears, your anxiety and your pain, you will be able to free yourself and balance your love for animals with that for human friends. To make things easier for you, you can start with another cat lover. You already love your animals, there will be something else you have in common.
- Always remember that the person who calls you a cat girl is probably also a victim of one of the common stereotypes, such as "addicted gamer" or "die-hard fan" or "fashion girl". Surely that person expects that by talking about their favorite conversation topics you will stop thinking about cats and pay attention to them. Everyone has passions.
