Piercing can be a fun way to express your personality and change your look. Ear ones are pretty common and easy to do, but your parents may not approve of your desire to have a second hole, even if you already have one. Learn to ask them for permission in the best possible way, by reasoning, showing them data and testimonies and coming to a compromise.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Using Reasoning
Step 1. Be kind and patient when addressing your parents
Just ask for permission to do the piercing, explaining why it is so important to you. Inform them of all the things that concern them. Listen to their questions and answer them calmly, letting them know everything you know.
Try saying, "Mom, Dad, I'd like to pierce my ear again. It's a way of expressing my personality, and I'd love to have your permission to do so."
Step 2. Communicate all the details
Tell them what type of earring you want and the location of the hole. There are various types of ear piercings. Show your parents that you have done a lot of research and that you have thought a lot about the spot and earring you intend to wear.
- For example, you might say, "I would really like a helix-shaped earring on top of the cartilage of the ear. There is a store in the mall that has jewelry for this type of piercing."
- If you know of an online store that sells the jewelry you want for your piercing, show it to your parents. You can also show a picture of where you intend to drill the hole, so they can see how it would look on the ear.
Step 3. Remind them when they allowed you to make the first hole
Point out to your parents that they have already approved the first hole in the past and that this time there is no difference.
For example, if you already have the earlobe hole, you can explain that another piercing is essentially the same because the method does not change and the healing times are the same
Step 4. Highlight everything you have accomplished so far
Point out all your efforts to get good grades in school, to engage in sports and extracurricular activities, or to never miss your help around the house.
- You can also place your request as an incentive that will inspire you to behave well in the future. Agree with your parents on a goal they would like you to achieve before making another hole.
- If your birthday or another gift-giving holiday is approaching, you can tell that a second earring is what you want more than anything else.
Step 5. Explain that it is not permanent
Make it clear that you don't intend to keep it forever. However, if they are concerned that the hole will leave permanent marks, make it clear that it can close over time if you really decide you don't want it anymore.
Note that in most cases the hole will close over time if you don't wear any kind of earring. In addition, minor surgery can be used to close elongated or "enlarged" ear holes with dilators
Step 6. Be willing to wait
Show your parents that this is an issue you can come back to. If you don't get their consent the first time you ask, agree with them at a later time when you can reopen the conversation. Alternatively, wait a couple of weeks or months before resuming the discussion.
- Tell them right away that you are willing to wait for them to think about this as long as they want. Try saying, "I would like your permission to do this, but you don't have to give me an answer right now. Can you tell me what you decided tomorrow?"
- If you try to reason by saying that they gave you permission for the first hole, but now they deny it to you, come back to the matter after a couple of weeks by offering you another way, perhaps suggesting the piercing as a reward for the good grades you got. at school. Keep calm and be polite whenever you make your request.
Part 2 of 3: Using the Facts
Step 1. Find a good piercer
Search on the Internet, in the telephone directory or in a special register containing piercing and tattoo operators who have followed professional courses accredited by bodies certified by the institutions and who practice their profession in studios that meet the mandatory requirements by law. Call or go directly to one of them to check the cleanliness and safety of the shop, equipment and staff.
- You can ask your parents to accompany you or speak to the staff who work at a piercing studio if they want.
- Be sure to check out Google, Yelp, or other search engines that show ratings and reviews from real users to see what their opinion is on certain studies that pierce the ears.
Step 2. Clean the piercing and take care of your ear properly
Show your parents your commitment to taking care of the pierced earlobe for the wound to heal. Share all information related to cleaning and care with your parents, so that they will make you a child responsible for his decisions and what comes with them.
- Purchase a saline solution or any other product needed for the next step in advance of the puncture, check if the piercer supplies or sells these items, or inquire exactly where and what you need to buy once the hole is made.
- Let your parents know that you will wear the pierced earring for as long as the piercer recommends before changing it. Also, don't neglect to find out about the best and least aggressive metals used to make earrings and where to buy this type of jewelry, especially if you are allergic to certain metals, such as nickel.
Step 3. Address the health issue
Research the health aspects of ear piercing so you can introduce them to your parents if they have any concerns. Be honest about possible complications, but also be prepared with some research on how to prevent any problems.
You can also inquire about the possible benefits of piercing. The earhole has a positive spiritual or religious significance in some cultures, and for many people it can also provide health benefits
Step 4. Show them some pictures
Find some pictures on the Internet related to the piercing you would like to do to show your parents the different ways it might appear on your ear.
Look for high-quality images that showcase simple, pretty earrings to reassure them that a piercing can make for a mature, dignified look at any age
Step 5. Get them to meet some friends
Ask a friend who has a second earhole to show it to your parents, explaining why they decided to do it, why they like it, and what the process was like. If possible, have her parents attend the meeting as well so they can discuss with your parents why you should be allowed to drill a second hole.
Make sure your friend and his parents agree before telling your dad and mom that they can meet
Part 3 of 3: Finding Compromises
Step 1. Promise to get busy at home and at school
Offer to clean your room and kitchen every week, get good grades in all subjects in the next term, or find a similar arrangement with your parents in exchange for their permission. You can also take part in volunteer or extracurricular activities if your parents want more effort from you.
Agree with them on something in particular to show that you are willing to commit to what you want and that you can accomplish a specific goal. Instead of saying, "I'll do anything to get better in school," try "I'll get a higher grade in math" or whatever other subject you need to improve
Step 2. Offer to pay
Tell your parents that you will pay for the piercing, earring and cleaning products. Find out about prices in good time and save money when you get pocket money or work pay so that you can collect the necessary amount as soon as your parents decide to give you their leave.
- Try raising the money with a lemonade stand or other simple business that allows you to raise money, as long as your parents allow them.
- If you are unable to set aside or collect the amount of money you need yourself, ask if they are willing to cover the rest. Say: "Mom, Dad, I have enough money to pay for the puncture. Can you arrange to buy the earrings?".
Step 3. Set limits
Promise you won't do any more piercings after this, or set a limit on the number of holes your parents allow you to drill. You can also find an agreement with them on the earrings to wear, perhaps preferring the smaller ones in the shape of a button instead of the dangling and more showy ones.
- If you favor dilators, agree on the size not to exceed when you widen the hole.
- You can also leave them the choice of earrings with which the hole will be drilled or the studio where the drilling will take place.
Step 4. Let them come with you
Allow your parents to accompany you to the piercer's office at the beginning when you want to have a look or throughout the piercing process, but also in both cases.
It may sound risky, but ask your parents that they all pierce their ears together! True, each parent has their own character, but they may appreciate your attempt to make them feel part of this experience so that they know exactly what you are going through
Step 5. Make an agreement
Whatever strategic compromise you decide or the agreement you come up with with your parents, write it down or type it on the computer to show them that you have thought through your decision and that you will commit to sticking to it.
Try making a list or a gradual succession of the things you agreed to do to get their permission and what you need to do next
Advice
- Keep calm and cool to show maturity and respect for your parents. Discuss this topic quietly and respectfully, and give them time to reflect and ask questions.
- Keep in mind that if you are not allowed to pierce a second ear, there are other ways to express your personal character and style. You can also choose an earring with a clip or a fake piercing that is very similar to the real one.
- Whatever happens, in most countries there is no legal impediment to piercing after age 18 (16 in the UK and Canada). Once you are 18, your parents will not be able to object if you decide to wear another earring.
Warnings
- If you don't have your parents' permission, don't try to drill the earlobe yourself and don't ask a friend for help. There is a risk of an infection, making a crooked or irregular hole, and other irreversible problems.
- Forget if your parents forbid you to pierce your ear for equally important religious or other reasons. It is difficult or impossible for them to change their minds and you will probably want to wait until the age of majority to make the decision for yourself.
- Try not to complain, not to pester your parents, and not to be angry when you make your request. It's okay to mention friends and other parents, but don't compare and complain about the difference between yours and others.
- Realize that every parent has valid reasons for giving or not giving their permission. Know when it is no longer appropriate to not press and when it is time to ask, otherwise go to the piercer when you are old enough to decide for yourself.
