Have you ever wanted to feel confident by staying aloof and purposeful in order to attract people to you like a magnet? If so, read on.
Steps
Method 1 of 4: Always keep calm externally
Step 1. Avoid unnecessary drama
Don't bother with things that aren't your business. By doing so, you ensure that you don't get caught up in the emotional turmoil of others. Which would make it very difficult to maintain a demeanor and remain detached. State directly, if you have to, that you don't want to get involved. People may be surprised - even angry at times - but they will respect your reluctance to take sides in a conflict where you have nothing to do with it.
Step 2. Remain indifferent
Don't let anything shake you. Always be prepared to face any obstacles that come your way. This inner tranquility will forge a new personality for you that others will perceive as evidence of a strong character. Show others that you are able to maintain a certain detachment that allows you to easily orient yourself in that labyrinth that is life, without ever losing your temper.
Step 3. Ignore the pain and emotions
Who cares what everyone says they supposedly heard or the rumors circulating or what people have seen with their own eyes? If you want to be detached, you need to manage pain without ever losing your dignity and with as much ease as possible. If you're going to fall apart, do it in the privacy of your home. You don't have to have a breakdown in public.
Method 2 of 4: Always be confident
Step 1. Believe in yourself, but always remember that being arrogant will make people hate you
Discreet trust (acting humbly, but being proud of yourself) will draw people to you. Imagine a scale from zero to ten, where zero equals feeling oppressed and ten equals being overbearing and arrogant. A five, right in the middle, is a safe bet. But even then, don't be shy about throwing yourself into a seven or eight to keep people from taking advantage of you.
Step 2. Smile even when there is no reason
Smiling puts you in a good mood. You will feel better and you will also infect those around you with your good mood. It is also a great way to show the world that you are good-natured and tireless. A smile in times of trouble tells people that nothing can bend you.
Method 3 of 4: Be mysterious
Step 1. Try to become a puzzle to others
Nobody needs to know what you're doing, where you're going, or what time you're going to show up to a party. You don't have to be sneaky. Just don't let others hang on to your business.
Step 2. Don't talk too much
Remember: the less you talk the better. Answer the questions they ask you, but don't go any further. Not to mention when you have nothing to say; do not speak when there is an awkward silence during a conversation. A nod must suffice. When you have something to say for real, you will find that people will be more inclined to listen to you than they would if you always have long conversations like there's no tomorrow.
Step 3. Be enigmatic
The harder it is for others to understand who you really are, the more interesting you will make yourself in their eyes. For heaven's sake, always be available and generous to your closest friends, but keep a veil of mystery with people you barely know.
Method 4 of 4: Be respectful
Step 1. Always try to treat others with respect
You can be kind and aloof at the same time. Don't make fun of others for how they dress, how they speak, their culture or anything else. Treat others as your equals and you will win everyone's respect.
Advice
- You won't always be able to stay in control. Accept it and try to learn from these mistakes.
- Always be yourself. You have to try to make yourself naturally detached and become part of your character so it doesn't feel forced or contrived.
Warnings
- Never be mean. This could turn you from "aloof" to "idiot" in the blink of an eye.
- Don't ignore people you don't like. Treat them coldly, answer their questions politely, but try to subtly make them understand that you don't like them without being rude.
