Everyone, even the most self-confident people, goes through moments when they feel nervous, anxious and demoralized. However, those with self-confidence know how to manage these moments and use the energies generated by the tension to their advantage. An aura of trust can attract positive attention and open up new opportunities. Even if you do not feel confident, you choose to flaunt a "false" confidence in order to hopefully succeed in actually conquering it, and you will realize that you will be able to reap the benefits immediately. While you probably won't be able to show such confidence all the time, you can learn to bring it out when you need it, perhaps during a job interview, public talk, or social event. Practice improving your body language and social interactions, as well as following a lifestyle that expresses the confidence you place in yourself.
Steps
Method 1 of 4: Show Confidence Through Body Language
Step 1. Imagine what a person who has no self-confidence can be like
Maybe he bends his head, has a tired gait, tries to take up as little space as possible and avoids eye contact. This posture indicates a sense of inferiority and anxiety. Such an attitude of the body also communicates nervousness, awe and lack of confidence. By changing your posture and body language, you also change the impression others have of you, their behavior towards you and, ultimately, your perception of yourself.
If you don't feel comfortable, try some of these techniques in public, practice in front of a mirror, or take a video until you feel a little more comfortable with yourself. You could also practice with a friend and ask them for their opinion
Step 2. Stand tall with your head held high
Stand straight and walk with your shoulders aligned and facing backwards. Keep your chin parallel to the ground, with your face facing perfectly forward. Walk as if you were the master of the world, even if you don't feel like one.
Pretend you are hanging from a string attached to the top of your head. Try not to shake your head, and choose a fixed point to look towards. Focus your attention on that spot instead of moving your head
Step 3. Learn to sit still
Often anxious people tend to shift their weight from one side of the body to the other or stamp their feet on the ground. Try to stand straight, with your feet hip-width apart. Balance the weight on both legs. By finding excellent balance and keeping your feet firmly planted on the ground, you will not feel the need to move.
Balance your legs even when sitting. You will look anxious if your legs are crossed or touching
Step 4. Take the space
Resist the temptation to lean forward in your chair or cross your arms while holding them under your armpits. Rather, it displays expansiveness, filling the space around you. It is about assuming a posture of power. Studies have shown that those who hire you before an interview feel and appear to be more confident. Here are some simple postures that indicate power:
- When you sit down, make yourself comfortable in the chair. Use armrests, if there are any.
- Stand with your legs shoulder-width apart and your hands on your hips.
- Lean against the wall, without breaking yourself. You will subconsciously give the impression that you own the wall or room.
Step 5. Use contact effectively
If you need to get someone's attention, tap their shoulder. However, take into consideration the overall situation and the interaction you are having, to assess to what extent physical contact should be sought. For example, you can get someone's attention simply by calling them by name and reserve physical contact later. On the other hand, if you are in a noisy and crowded place, gently tap her shoulder.
Remember that the contact must be light. Excessive pressure may be considered too dominant for the calm and confidence you intend to convey
Step 6. Show confidence through the position of the hands
While standing or sitting, keep them mostly still. As a rule, self-confident people leave the space in front of their face and body free, rather than closing it from the view of others. Here are some helpful tips:
- Interlace your hands behind your head or the back of your neck.
- Keep your hands in your pockets, leaving your thumbs out.
- Interlace your fingers in front of you and rest your elbows on the table. This is a very strong position, which can be used preferably during negotiations, interviews and meetings.
Step 7. Use hand gestures carefully
Emphasizing each word with a wave of your hands can make you appear anxious or charismatic, depending on the environment you live in. Try gesticulating in a controlled and occasional manner. Do not lower your arms beyond the waist and make most of your gestures within this space. By doing so, you will appear more credible.
- In social settings, keep your hands open and relaxed. If the hands or wrists are stiff, they convey an aggressive and dominant attitude, like that commonly used by politicians.
- Keep your elbows next to your torso. To avoid blocking the view of your body, gesticulate with your hand slightly moved to your side.
Method 2 of 4: Show Confidence in Social Interactions
Step 1. Make eye contact
Maintaining eye contact while speaking, but also when the other person is engaged in conversation, is a sign of trust and interest. Never check your phone, don't stare at the floor, or don't be enchanted by looking around the room. You may appear to be rude, anxious, or even uncomfortable. Try to maintain eye contact for at least a good half of the meeting.
To begin with, try to look at the other person long enough to find out what their eye color is
Step 2. Squeeze your hand firmly
A firm handshake will immediately communicate trust and confidence on your part. When you approach someone, you reach out to offer your hand. Grab his firmly - but don't hurt him. Move your arm up and down lightly for 2-3 seconds, then release your grip.
- If you have sweaty hands, keep a handkerchief in your pocket. Dry it before handing it to someone.
- Do not shake hands loosely. You risk looking weak.
Step 3. Speak clearly, without rushing
If you tend to confuse words in an attempt to express yourself quickly, slow down. Pause for a couple of seconds before answering, so you have time to organize what you have to say and you will appear more confident.
If you slow down, your voice will sound even deeper. This way you will give the impression of being a safe and responsible person
Step 4. Smile often
If you smile, you will immediately look warm, hospitable and friendly. Studies have shown that people appreciate and remember who smiles. If you struggle to maintain a natural smile, just mention it briefly and then take on a more neutral expression.
In appropriate contexts, laughter is another great way to demonstrate and strengthen self-confidence. Avoid giggling constantly, however, or you may appear nervous or bossy
Step 5. Stop apologizing
If you always apologize, even for trivial things, break this habit. You will learn to feel more confident and behave accordingly. Tell your closest friends that you are making an effort to change this. After apologizing to a friend for no reason, correct yourself by saying, "Wait, no, I don't need to apologize!" By joking about it, you will be able to reduce the fear of appearing offensive to others.
On the other hand, accept compliments with a "thank you". When someone compliments you, smile and thank them. Do not react by discrediting yourself or debasing your work ("It was nothing special")
Step 6. Treat others with respect
By treating people respectfully, you will show that you see them for who they are, that you don't feel threatened by them, and that you are confident in who you are. Don't gossip and avoid getting involved in the tragedies of others. You will prove that you are comfortable in your own skin.
Other people will likely learn to respect you and look at you as an example to follow. Maybe they'll even stop dragging you into dramatic or hectic situations, knowing that you won't get involved
Step 7. Practice these new social skills
Go to a party or take part in any social setting to practice these techniques. Remember that there is no need to get close to everyone and befriend them. Even if you only interact with one person all evening, consider it a win. If you feel uncomfortable around people and prefer to practice at home, ask a friend for help.
For example, if you are preparing for a speech or interview, it could act as an audience or interviewer. If you are pretty quiet, invite your friend to the relationship you are going to have. This way you will have the opportunity to focus on him instead of the people in the room
Method 3 of 4: Show Lifestyle Confidence
Step 1. Look and feel your best
Taking care of yourself is important for your well-being. Hygiene, clothing, and health are worth the effort, especially if you're trying to impress someone during an interview or romantic date. The appearance and first impression are very powerful. Good taste will put you in an advantageous position and predispose others favorably towards you. You will give the impression of being a reliable and self-confident person at first sight.
- Dedicate yourself to your personal hygiene every day. Shower, brush your teeth, and use deodorant whenever necessary.
- Wear clothing that can enhance you. Your self-confidence will increase if you wear comfortable clothes that make you comfortable.
Step 2. Appreciate yourself for who you are
Acting confidently will make you appear more confident, but it's just as important to value yourself as an individual. You will receive a significant boost of confidence. You are a special and talented person and there are many who want to see you happy. If you are having difficulty doing this, make a list of the goals you have achieved. Don't be afraid to congratulate yourself.
Be honest with yourself and others. When people see that you are confident and responsible for their actions, you will be appreciated even more. They will also be more likely to trust and believe in you
Step 3. Learn to manage your fears
People who have little self-confidence are often fearful of making a mistake or giving the wrong impression. While you won't be able to get rid of all your fears in one fell swoop, you can certainly learn to manage them more effectively. When anxiety arises in your mind, take a deep breath and repeat to yourself "I can do this. My fears are not rational." Recognize the mistake or setback, but don't dwell too much.
Once you've developed some self-confidence, test yourself in something that makes you anxious. For many, it involves asking a question in a large group of people or admitting that they don't know something
Step 4. Establish an optimistic outlook on life
If you are not confident in yourself, try to focus on the negative events that have characterized your existence. Don't judge mistakes as if they were failures; rather, consider them as something you can learn from in order to develop your personality and gain confidence. Remember that every mistake is an opportunity to understand how to improve next times.
Remember the other times you have been successful. Everyone, regardless of how flawless or confident they are, makes mistakes. It's how you approach them that really matters over time
Step 5. Start writing a journal
It can reduce stress by allowing you to put stressful thoughts on paper (instead of just floating them in your mind). By writing, you will be able to reflect on situations in a different way. To start a journal, try writing a list such as: "Things I'm proud of and to remember when I'm confused" (this will be easier to compose when you're in a good mood). These kinds of things are always true, but we tend to overlook them when we are low-spirited, anxious or extremely disheartened. By keeping this list handy, you'll avoid forgetting what you feel confident about.
For example, you might include things like: "I am proud to be able to play guitar", "I am proud to be able to rock climb", "I am proud to put a smile on friends' faces when they are sad"
Step 6. Ask yourself the right questions to build your confidence
The greatest source of trust lies within us. When it falters, ask yourself: What do I have that others don't have? What makes me an active member of society? What are my challenges and how can I improve? What boosts my self-esteem? Keep in mind that it is unrealistic to think that you are always perfect.
If you're feeling anxious about an interview, for example, take five minutes before introducing yourself to try out some of these stress management and confidence building techniques. Remind yourself that you have prepared yourself and that there is a reason why you have been summoned. Stretch your arms up and straighten them horizontally, then bring them back to your hips. Shake your body a little to relax and take a deep breath. Get rid of all the air and remind yourself that you can do it
Method 4 of 4: Coping with Fears
Step 1. Realize that fear affects your sense of trust
Sometimes people who are too self-aware worry about giving the wrong impression and that others may think badly of them. Anyone can be scared and nervous from time to time - that's normal. However, if you are so fearful that your worries affect daily life and social interactions, it is probably time to address some of these fears.
Step 2. Get in touch with your body
What does your body tell you? What about your heart rate? You are sweating? These are all independent, or involuntary, physical responses that are meant to prepare you to act (such as the "fight or flight" reaction), but can sometimes increase fear and worry. How do you feel physically?
Ask yourself, "What to do when a circumstance makes me nervous and fearful?" Perhaps you are concerned about sitting in an uncomfortable chair over a nice dinner or saying inappropriate things and embarrassing yourself
Step 3. Assess what you are afraid of
Try to understand if this fear is helping you in any way or if it is holding you back from doing certain things or even living your life. Here's what else you might be wondering:
- What am I afraid might happen?
- Am I sure it will happen? How safe?
- Has this happened before? What was the final result?
- What's the worst that could happen?
- What's the best thing that could happen (I might miss a chance if I don't try)?
- Will this moment affect the rest of my life?
- Can I be realistic in what I expect and am convinced of?
- If a friend of mine were in my shoes, what advice should I give him?
Step 4. Learn to manage fear by breathing deeply
Deep breaths can be powerful enough to help keep anxiety in check - in fact, they slow your heart rate. If you can, try placing a hand on your abdomen and breathing deeply so that you only move your hand on your belly, not your chest.
It is called "diaphragmatic breathing". Deep breathing can help you relax and reduce anxiety
Step 5. Practice meditation and the awareness.
Many times we are nervous and anxious when we feel we are not in control. If you find yourself in an anxious environment, take a few minutes to do some meditation or to write in your journal before dealing with the situation. In this way, you will calm down and be able to leave.
If you are flooded with constant, nagging thoughts that make you anxious, you will most likely feel like you are out of control. Meditation and mindfulness will allow you to recognize obsessive thoughts and then let them go
Step 6. Write down everything you are afraid of
Write down thoughts that cause you apprehension or anxiety. Ask yourself a few questions to gauge where your fear comes from. By doing so, you will be able to keep track of the reflections and worries that haunt you, identify your mental patterns, consider fear differently and eliminate it from your mind.
