People are constantly bombarded with unrealistic and potentially dangerous images that indicate what the "perfect" physical forms should be, compromising the ability, among other things vital, to accept, love and feel safe in one's body. Therefore, it is important to learn what the limits of your body are, but also to become familiar with your potential. According to the philosopher Baruch Spinoza, man "does not know what a body can do", in the sense that no one has the exact awareness of what the body is able to do, if at least he has not tested it first. Psychologists point out that there is a distinction between the way people perceive their bodies and the way their bodies perform. Therefore, to accept your body, you must get in touch with both of these aspects while respecting your physical condition.
Steps
Part 1 of 5: Appreciate the Oneness of Your Body
Step 1. Recognize what really gives you pleasure
Make a list of the best moments of your life. Enter as many details as you can, such as who you were with, what you were doing, where you were, and so on. Reflect on what they have in common: the company of the people you were with, the enthusiasm you felt or simply the context (for example, were you immersed in nature or were you in a big city)? Once you understand the conditions in which your body has been able to derive maximum pleasure in the past, try spending more time in similar situations in the future.
Each body is unique, which means that you need to try to find out what brings you pleasure. Some research in the United States indicates that fewer than half of Americans define themselves as particularly happy in current conditions, in part because they are not entirely sure what actually contributes to their happiness. Start remembering all the times you could say you were happy
Step 2. Recognize the things you are naturally versed in
The uniqueness of the body's structure and chemistry is based on the fact that every physicist is naturally inclined to perform some activities better than others. For example, if in your developmental period your maximum height is 1.60m, you are not very likely to become a basketball star. However, you could have a great career in the equestrian world. Learning to accept your body means accepting the fact that it can perform certain actions better than others. It will probably take you some time to identify which activities you could achieve satisfactory results.
If you're not sure what activities you are naturally well versed in, try your hand at ones you would never imagine being passionate about. Sign up for a yoga or pottery class. Become part of a theatrical improvisation workshop. As Spinoza argued, you can't know what your body can do until you put it to the test
Step 3. Identify what you like about your body and your appearance
Even those who think they have a hideous body can find something they like. It is important that you learn to love and appreciate all your best sides, including the physical ones. Don't dwell too much on the characteristics that make you nervous, but only focus on the positive ones.
For example, you may be unhappy with your legs right now, because you may think they are plump or skeletal, but find the silver lining. Maybe you would like them to be a little leaner, but keep in mind how strong they are when I have to support you on a climb. Or maybe you will think they are too thin, but in this case consider that you are among the few who can really afford to wear a pair of skinny jeans
Step 4. Accept your body as it is
Basically, don't try to change who you are and don't focus on physical characteristics that you don't appreciate at all. Learn to love your body in the way you move, feel and move. Forget how you used to think of it, especially if you have undergone changes following a pregnancy, birth, injury, or medical condition. Treat it right as it is now.
Don't go on a diet unless your doctor tells you to. Learn to listen to your body and to consume foods in the right portions. Don't deprive yourself of it and don't feel guilty about how much you eat
Part 2 of 5: Learn not to have negative thoughts about your body
Step 1. Determine how much time to spend on negative thoughts
Negative thoughts don't improve your self-image. Spend a day or two thinking carefully about how often you think about your body. How often do you spend negative thoughts or words about your physical appearance? How many times, on the other hand, do you judge it positively? You are likely to have a far more critical view than a constructive one.
Consider keeping a log in a diary, notepad, or cell phone to do the following task. When you get a chance, carry a notepad with you and quickly jot down any negative thoughts that cross your mind. Add even if it is connected to the outward appearance. At the end of the day, you will probably be surprised at how many negative thoughts you have formulated in just one day
Step 2. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones
While it may be difficult at first, realize that it is an important task if you want to physically accept yourself. As soon as you realize that a negative thought is brushing your mind, replace it with a more favorable consideration about yourself. Give yourself the time you need to get used to thinking positively.
Try starting your day with a few positive thoughts. Try to remember this throughout the day especially when you start being critical of yourself. For example, you might say, "I really like how this new hairstyle makes me feel."
Step 3. Limit exposure to negative media images
Try to reduce the time or completely stop watching television, movies, magazines or blogs that show an unrealistic or negative representation of the body. Remember that most of the photos circulating on the internet and in magazines have been edited to make the models appear more in line with the stereotypes of beauty and sensuality.
Psychologists fear that as this trend has increased over the past twenty years, such images are creating an unrealistic ideal of how the body should be. Don't be swayed by these empty caricatures that have no relation to the real world
Step 4. Find a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist
Many cognitive-behavioral techniques used by psychologists focus on the present and the immediate future by exploiting the patient's goals as therapy. While it would be best to see a cognitive behavioral therapist, you can start practicing these methods on your own. When you realize that a negative thought is brushing your mind, stop, take a deep breath and try to identify on what basis your beliefs rest. Has anyone actually told you that your body has some imperfection? If so, ask yourself if that person is just trying to hurt you or if they are joking.
Psychologists believe that when you have an unrealistic expectation of your appearance, a distorted body image develops. It is important to note when these unrealistic expectations manifest in mental processes, so that these beliefs can be addressed with factual information
Step 5. Deal with negative people in your life
Since you are making a commitment to be kind to yourself and to focus on the positive aspects of yourself, you will also need to assess the subjects in your life. Do friends and family criticize you? Are they telling you that you need to lose weight, dress differently or change your hairstyle? In these cases, it is important to find a way to manage their negative influences.
Keep in mind that you probably won't be able to shut close friends and family out of your life in the same way you can stop shopping for Vogue or watch a fashion show. Either way, if these people disapprove of your fitness or are overly harsh and critical, you need to be willing to respectfully, but firmly, confront yourself about how their words or behaviors hurt you
Step 6. Attend different social groups
As you discover new activities, try to talk to people you would normally ignore or keep at a distance. Chatting with strangers may make you feel uncomfortable at first, but the more you do it, the easier it will be. Regardless of how distressed you feel at first, be aware that isolating yourself can be even worse - some research indicates that, over time, it can be as harmful as obesity. It is important that you feel more and more comfortable among the people you know, especially if those you normally hang out with do not support your body image or affect you negatively.
Brain studies suggest that brain chemistry strongly affects sentimental dynamics, which means you won't always be able to fall in love with the kind of person you imagined next to you. This is also true in building friendships. Surrounding yourself with people who support and encourage self-discovery is essential. In simple terms, you will be able to accept your body more easily and challenge any unrealistic ideal that you may be convinced of if you are surrounded by people who accept you and what you discover about yourself
Part 3 of 5: Learn to Focus on the Positives
Step 1. Pay attention to the compliments you receive
Instead of worrying about criticism, accept compliments from others. Note their content and keep it in mind. Write it down so you can remember it later, especially in the saddest moments.
Instead of rejecting other people's compliments or convincing yourself that they are only offered to you out of politeness, take them literally and don't think people are making fun of you. Don't think that people are unable to express an honest opinion about you. Accept their kindness cordially
Step 2. Keep highlighting what you like about yourself
Whenever you notice that you have a negative thought about your body or about some aspect of it, remember what you value instead. List at least ten positive characteristics of your person, omitting the aesthetic ones. Keep this list up to date.
By doing so, you will begin to understand and appreciate all the extraordinary aspects that belong to you. You will realize that the body is only a part of your person
Step 3. Reinvent your relationship with the mirror
If you spend too much time in front of the mirror, establish this rule: don't express negative words or thoughts when looking in the mirror. Rather, use it to give importance to all the beautiful things you see. If you still have some difficulty in front of your reflection, try to give up the habit of looking at yourself for a while. Studies have shown that in this way, people are able to focus more on their career or relationship and less on their appearance.
Try to appreciate yourself by giving some compliments to your reflection. When you look in the mirror, try saying to yourself "You are beautiful", "You are fantastic" and so on. It might seem like a stretch and at first you may not believe what you're saying, but experts say that over time this method - which they call behavioral therapy - actually works
Part 4 of 5: Setting Goals and Making Changes
Step 1. Improve your health and well-being
In order to learn to fully accept yourself and be happy in your body, you will probably eventually come to change it in some respects. So, if maybe you are overweight, you will try to lose weight. However, remember that the weight given by the scale is only an indication of your general health. Try to plan and undergo routine laboratory tests and tests on a regular basis; you will get all the necessary "values" (weight, blood pressure, blood sugar, cholesterol, etc.) to estimate an overall picture of your physical condition and you will be able to discuss with your doctor the objectives to follow to keep yourself healthy.
You may need to gain or lose weight to stay healthy, but you should also think about gaining strength, elasticity and endurance
Step 2. Set Positive Goals
Instead of considering the negatives of your journey, focus on the positives. For example, if you decide to start exercising, don't frame this goal by considering how many pounds you intend to lose. Instead, make it represent something constructive: for example, "I train to be able to run two kilometers without ever stopping" or "I have to commit to walking so I will be fit enough to hike in the woods with my father."
If you stay focused on what you hope to achieve or improve, you will be able to achieve your goals and learn to feel better about yourself
Step 3. Engage in your favorite physical activities
Choose a relaxation program that will distract you and keep you entertained, not just because it can help you change physically. Instead, spend some of your time trying out new and varied activities, then choose to follow the ones you really enjoy. You will be thrilled. If you love yoga, for example, don't hesitate to do it, even if you think you're too fat to move gracefully. Almost any fitness program can be adapted to suit people's physical fitness and endurance level.
If you feel uncomfortable exercising in front of other people, consider hiring a personal trainer, playing sports with a friend or at home. Be careful, though, not to let fear of other people's judgments tell you how to manage your life
Step 4. Find your personal style
Don't choose your clothes, makeup, or hairstyle based solely on what you think is "appropriate" for those of your build or what fashion magazines indicate as the most flattering attire. Wear what you want, what you like and what makes you feel comfortable. Choose garments that reflect your personality, that you find comfortable, that are suitable for your lifestyle and the activities you do.
Try out various styles of clothing and combinations. If you feel confident and in great shape following a trend that is considered "suitable for a certain body type", then don't change it, but only if you like it, not because you think you should adapt
Part 5 of 5: Keeping Things in the Right Perspective
Step 1. Confront yourself only
The world would be pretty boring if everyone were the same. There is no point in setting up comparisons with others, whether it's a celebrity or your classmate. Instead, now that you've realistically set your goals for getting fit and looking good, your comparisons will need to be connected to the progress you will achieve over time. For example, try to reflect on how much you have improved aesthetically compared to a few years ago.
Remember to be patient and kind to yourself. Don't treat yourself and judge yourself harder than a friend or anyone else would
Step 2. Do not forget that the external image is only part of the overall image of one's person
It is important to learn to accept and love your body, but it is also essential to realize that self-esteem is by no means closed within the limits of appearance.
When you think about the people you esteem, love and / or respect the most, what characteristics come to mind? Do you rate others or yourself solely on the basis of physical qualities or character and personality traits?
Step 3. Know when to seek help
Keep in mind that almost everyone tries to look after their image and it is normal to have ups and downs. However, you should also honestly consider whether you feel the need to speak to a counselor, doctor, or mental health professional. There are various signs that you have serious physical problems that require professional help. So, ask yourself:
- Are you able to control the negative thoughts you have towards yourself? Do you spend hours thinking about your flaws?
- Does the unhappiness connected with your outward appearance interfere with your life? For example, do you avoid going out or speaking in public? Are you afraid of going to work because you are afraid of being seen and judged?
- Do you spend a lot of time in front of the mirror every day and / or settling down?
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Can't stop making comparisons between yourself and others? Do you avoid being photographed?
Realize that if you have this kind of difficulty, you most likely need a hand to physically accept yourself. Perhaps you suffer from the so-called "body dysmorphic disorder" which usually needs professional help. If left untreated, it can lead to suicidal thoughts and behavior. Even if you are not diagnosed with this disorder, know that, instead of going through everything on your own, you have the possibility to ask for help and advice: it is not a gesture to be ashamed of
Step 4. Find professional help that fits your needs
You have several solutions available. You can go to a therapist or psychoanalyst for individual therapy, or you may find an active support group near you if you prefer a less rigidly structured method. There are also online support groups where you have the opportunity to establish relationships with other people who are obsessed with negative thoughts about their body.
The important thing is to find support from people who don't judge the way you perceive yourself. They may also offer you some useful suggestions
Advice
- Put post-its on the mirror to remind you of your best physical characteristics. Feel free to include some notes that highlight what you like most (for example, "You have beautiful cheekbones"), but also try to emphasize qualities that are not strictly physical.
- It is important to have a strong support network, as it could be a great advantage to get advice on the external image from people you trust. You will be able to put them to good use when negative thoughts arise in your mind.
- Be sure to discuss any decisions you need to make about starting a new eating or exercise program with your doctor, and keep your eyes peeled for extreme or sudden changes taking place in your body.
