When you don't get enough sleep, you feel like a rag during the day. Moreover, lack of sleep can have unpleasant consequences if there are misunderstandings, and even cause quarrels when it does not allow you to respond with the usual solicitude and attention. All of this can happen at work, among friends, when you train or have to take care of your newborn baby. Therefore, it is important to stay calm so as not to say or do something you may regret. Furthermore, it would be advisable to understand what the outbursts of anger depend on, identifying the factors that trigger them. This way you will be able to manage situations more effectively, despite the tiredness.
Steps
Part 1 of 5: Take Immediate Measures to Control Irascibility
Step 1. Recognize the signals sent by the body
Anger can manifest itself through certain physical symptoms. Regardless of the cause of the stress, the body automatically prepares itself to respond to a threat in this state of mind. When you are physically stressed, you prepare to defend yourself or run away and this reaction causes certain signals, such as:
- Muscle tension and contraction of the jaws;
- Headache or stomach pain
- Acceleration of the heartbeat;
- Sweating;
- Redness of the face;
- Tremor in the hands or whole body
- Stun.
Step 2. Recognize the onset of emotional cues
Anger is often accompanied by a variety of emotions. To respond to a threat and ensure survival, the amygdala, the part of the brain that manages emotions, is activated to send signals. Therefore, it is not strange to feel invaded by a myriad of emotions that alarm the body, preparing it to defend itself or flee. In addition to anger, you may feel:
- Irritation;
- Sadness;
- Depression;
- Sense of guilt;
- Resentment;
- Anxiety;
- You need to defend yourself.
Step 3. Count to ten
If you feel like you are losing your temper and are experiencing physical or emotional symptoms of anger, tell yourself that you don't need to react right away. By counting, you can temporarily put aside your agitation. This may seem a bit silly to you, but with this strategy you will be able to distract yourself long enough until you have calmed down. Take the time you need to sort out your feelings.
Step 4. Breathe deeply
By taking deep breaths, you will have the opportunity to restore oxygen to the brain and relieve perceived stress.
- Inhale for a count of four, hold the air for another four seconds and exhale again to four.
- Try to breathe through your diaphragm rather than using your chest. When you use the diaphragm, your belly swells (you can tell by resting your hand).
- Repeat this as many times as necessary until you begin to calm down.
Step 5. Try changing your environment
If you start to feel blood boiling in your veins, move away from where you are. Take a walk, breathing deeply. Don't hesitate to walk away from the situation you are experiencing if you have the opportunity. Whether it's a thing or a person, by removing any kind of provocation from sight, you will be able to calm down.
If you can't walk away, try turning your back for a few minutes and close your eyes
Step 6. Try to think of something fun
If you can laugh, you will be able to change the chemical reactions that take place in the body. Use your imagination to recreate absurd situations of various kinds in your mind that make you laugh, especially if they are not stupid or sarcastic.
Step 7. Tell people that you are tired
When you are exhausted and in a bad mood, you are more likely to lose your temper. Therefore, let those around you know that you would rather be left alone.
Step 8. Avoid circumstances that make you nervous
If you are ready to explode, don't put yourself in situations that threaten to overflow the camel's back. If morning traffic makes you impatient, try working from home or taking public transport. If you know your child likes cheese sandwiches, don't argue with him over making him eat vegetables.
Step 9. Rest
If you can, take a nap and you'll be in a good mood. Even a half hour nap will help you feel more alert and less prone to tantrums.
Part 2 of 5: Controlling Sleep Deficiency
Step 1. Monitor the typical symptoms of sleep deprivation
If you have a sleep disorder, such as insomnia, you may experience certain symptoms. If you have three or more nights a week, see your doctor:
- You have difficulty falling asleep in the evening (takes at least half an hour);
- You often wake up during the night and can't go back to sleep;
- You wake up too early in the morning;
- When you wake up you don't feel rested, no matter how long you've slept;
- You feel sleepy during the day;
- You fall asleep suddenly during the day;
- Snoring or snorting, free diving for short periods of time, or jerky while you sleep
- Before going to bed in the evening, you feel a tingling or numbness in your legs, which disappears if you massage them;
- You have a sudden feeling of weakness in your muscles when you are angry, afraid or laughing
- You feel like you can't move when you wake up;
- You always need caffeine to wake you up and stay awake during the day.
Step 2. Monitor your sleep patterns
Write down when you go to sleep and when you get up. Write in the morning even if you woke up during the night. Keep taking notes for a couple of weeks to get a better idea of how you sleep.
Also check how you feel when you wake up (rested, sleepy, groggy?). Also write down how you feel for the rest of the day
Step 3. Ask the person sleeping next to you if you snore at night
Be aware of other things that may occur during sleep, such as snoring, snorting, wheezing, or making involuntary movements. If you don't sleep with anyone, consider videotaping yourself for a couple of nights to see if there's any other problem.
Step 4. Contact a sleep lab
You may also want to go to a sleep psychophysiology lab to check how you sleep. You will undergo a test that will monitor your breathing, oxygen levels and heart rate using electrodes or other devices connected to the scalp, face, chest, limbs and fingers.
Step 5. See your doctor for possible causes
In many cases, insomnia is caused by certain problems ranging from aging to pregnancy, menopause, mental disorders (such as schizophrenia and depression) or chronic diseases (such as Parkinson's disease, Alzheimer's, sclerosis multiple).
Talk to your doctor if you are concerned that any of these problems are the cause
Step 6. Be aware of external factors and habits
Sleep can be disrupted by various external factors that are difficult to manage, such as: caring for a baby, stress, caffeine intake at the end of the day, working out in the evening, and so on.
Part 3 of 5: Understanding Anger
Step 1. Evaluate your short temper based on a score
By giving it a grade, you will have a clearer idea of what circumstances are making you nervous and to what extent. Some events may cause you a slight irritation, while others may make you explode.
You don't have to stick to a standard classification. You can make your own - for example, following a scale of one to ten or zero to one hundred. Choose the one that best suits your needs
Step 2. Keep a journal about your short temper
It will help you keep track of circumstances in which you cannot contain anger. You can also describe the extent to which you tend to get angry, but also the context that precedes or in which your outbursts arise. Take notes on how you react when you are angry and the behavior of people around you. When updating your diary, try to write down the following observations:
- What made you nervous?
- Measure your irritation by giving it a score.
- What did you think when you were angry?
- How did you react? How did others react towards you?
- What was your mood a moment before it happened?
- What physical symptoms did you feel?
- Did you want to go wild or misbehave, like slam the door or hit something or someone, or did you say something sarcastic?
- How did you feel immediately after it happened?
- What were your feelings a few hours after this episode?
- Has the situation been resolved?
- By writing down this information, you will learn to understand which situations and triggers make you most susceptible. Later, you can also decide not to get carried away in such circumstances, if you have the possibility, or foresee them, if they are inevitable.
Step 3. Identify what factors are making you nervous
It can be something that happens or that causes an emotion or a memory. The most common for anger are:
- The thought of not being able to control the actions of others;
- The worry that other people are not living up to your expectations;
- The fact of not being able to control daily events, such as traffic;
- Fear of someone trying to manipulate you;
- The fear of getting angry with yourself for some mistake.
Step 4. Be aware of the possible effects of sleep deprivation
Lack of sleep can be caused by sleeping poorly and losing and accumulating sleep for several nights, or by not getting any sleep for a single night. Your metabolism, age, willpower, and other personal factors determine how you react to this deficiency. Here are the most common consequences, which can contribute to losing your temper:
- Increased irritability in case of accidents (due to poor coordination and sleepiness);
- Increased irritability in case of a cold;
- Rapid aging;
- Emotional problems (loss of control, anxiety, panic, depression);
- Short temper, mood swings, reduced ability to manage stress
- Poor judgment, poor concentration and inability to make decisions;
- Long-term effects of sleep deprivation include obesity, heart disease and diabetes.
Part 4 of 5: Expressing Anger in a Healthy Way
Step 1. Communicate assertively
There are three ways of expressing anger, two of which, "passive" and "aggressive", are not healthy. The third, the "assertive" one, is the most constructive way to manifest it. Communicating assertively means taking into account the needs of both interlocutors. To be assertive, you need to provide the facts without making accusations. Here is an example:
I felt hurt and angry because I got the impression that I was belittling my project when you started laughing during my presentation. I don't know what was going on, but it seemed to me that I was not paying attention or taking any notice. serious about my work. Maybe I just misunderstood what was happening. Can we talk and find a solution?
Step 2. Be respectful
In interpersonal communication it is extremely important to ask questions rather than demands. If you want respect, you have to give it and promote collaboration and mutual consideration at the same time. In practice, it is the opposite of what happens when anger takes over in interactions. Whether it is aggressive, passive or passive-aggressive, communication puts people at odds. If respectful, however, it could manifest itself in these ways:
- "When you have time, you could…".
- "You would be of great help to me if … Thanks, I really appreciate that!".
Step 3. Try to communicate clearly
If you procrastinate or make inaccurate and general statements, you risk exasperating your interlocutor. To communicate assertively, speak directly to the person you have a problem with. Make your intentions clear. Don't forget to submit them as a question.
For example, if a colleague is talking loudly on the phone and you are unable to do your job, try phrasing your request like this: "I have a question. Could you turn down the volume when you are on the phone? Unfortunately, it prevents me from concentrating on my work. I would be really grateful to you."
Step 4. Express your feelings
Once you understand your state of mind, communicate what you really feel, such as pain, and avoid making judgments. Instead of saying, "You seem completely numb to me," focus on yourself. For example, you might say, "I get the impression that when you read the paper, you don't pay attention to how I feel because you don't listen to what I'm trying to tell you."
Part 5 of 5: Try Effective Long-Term Strategies
Step 1. Establish healthy habits when you need to sleep
When you sleep little, you find it harder to control yourself emotionally. According to a study, a teenage girl just needs to sleep badly a few nights to make her nervous and darker. A good night's sleep helps people manage their emotions better.
- Try going to bed at the same time every night and getting up at the same time every morning. A regular sleep schedule will only benefit your body.
- Turn off all screens (TV, telephone, computer) at least half an hour before going to bed. According to some studies, electronic screens stimulate the brain cognitively, ruining sleep.
- If you have trouble sleeping well, see your doctor to see if there are other strategies you can try.
Step 2. Get some sleep
If you know that you will go through days when you will not have the opportunity to get enough sleep, try to catch up on the sleep you are going to lose early. In this way, you will be able to partially counteract the negative effects caused by lack of sleep, such as mood swings.
Step 3. Try to meditate
Meditation has been shown to promote the ability to regulate one's emotions. It is a practice that allows people to relax, producing lasting effects on the amygdala, the part of the brain that manages emotions and reactions to stress due to nerve-wracking or threatening situations.
- Start with deep breathing exercises. Find a quiet place to sit. Inhale for a count of four, hold the air for another four seconds and exhale again to four. Try to breathe with your diaphragm rather than your chest. When you use the diaphragm, your belly swells (you can notice this by resting your hand). Repeat this process as many times as necessary, until you begin to calm down.
- If you have trouble meditating, don't worry. Meditation is a combination of deep breathing exercises, visualization and mental activity, but if you can't sit for too long to meditate or if you don't feel comfortable, you can only start with deep breathing to calm yourself down physically.
- By reassuring you, the practice of meditation helps you to rework your emotions in a more balanced way. You can combine breathing exercises with visualization exercises. To simplify the task, when you inhale, think that you are bathed in golden-white light that can relax you and restore your good mood. Imagine it spreading through the lungs and throughout the body. As you exhale, imagine that you are expelling dark, dull colors that represent anger and stress.
Step 4. Try progressive muscle relaxation
These are exercises that allow you to gradually contract and relax the whole body. By contracting your muscles, you will be able to get rid of the accumulated physical tension. Here's how you can proceed:
- Start by taking a few deep breaths. Inhale for a count of four, hold the air for another four seconds and exhale again to four.
- Start with your head and face. Tense as many muscles as you can on your face, head, mouth, and neck, and keep them tense for twenty seconds. Then unfold them.
- Continue towards your lower body, contracting and relaxing your shoulders, arms, back, hands, abdomen, legs, feet, and toes.
- After that, wiggle your toes trying to spread the distension from the extremities to the head.
- Take a few more deep breaths and enjoy the feeling of relaxation.
Step 5. Play sports regularly
Exercise can help you dissipate anger. According to some research, it allows adults and children to regain a good mood and control emotions. When anger takes over, try going out and working out or exercising every day to get your aggression out.
Physical activity will also help you sleep better
Step 6. Take an anger management course
The results that can be obtained by learning to control this feeling through a special course are quite satisfactory. The most effective programs help understand anger, offer immediate strategies for managing it, and help you acquire new skills.
There is a wide range of courses that prepare people to manage anger. For example, they can target teenagers, executives, police officers, and other categories of people who tend to get angry for different reasons
Step 7. Try psychotherapy
If you feel like you can't control your short temper, try psychotherapy to manage it. The therapist will be able to tell you which relaxation techniques to practice when you are about to explode. It will also help you manage thoughts that trigger uncontrolled reactions and find other ways of looking at situations.
