If some negative thoughts tend to come to your mind, know that you are not alone: an expert has estimated that 80% of our thoughts have some negative content. Negative thinking may even be innate in the psychological makeup of human beings: like our ancestors, we are constantly striving to understand the environment around us and try to improve it. The problem appears when we begin to take these negative thoughts as true. By allowing it to proliferate, negative thoughts can affect multiple areas of our well-being, including physical health. Fortunately, there are ways to change your thinking patterns and gain a more positive outlook.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Separate Yourself from Your Thoughts
Step 1. Label your negative thoughts as thoughts
The first rule in the fight against negative thoughts requires us to identify them as thoughts, rather than as an essential part of ourselves. When you have a thought, repeat it to yourself this time by recognizing it as such.
For example, instead of saying "I'm a failure," say to yourself, "I'm thinking I'm a failure."
Step 2. Talk to your mind
Thank your mind for taking care of all your thoughts, but also let it know that you don't need its help right now.
For example, you might be thinking "I'll be late for work because of this traffic jam and I'll get scolded by my boss." In this case you can say "Thank you mind. Thank you for taking care of my interests, but there is nothing you can do right now."
Step 3. Identify your "stories"
Find out what the patterns of your negative thoughts are and label them. Doing so can help you let them go.
For example, if you tend to say to yourself "I have no idea what I am doing" you can say to yourself "Oh, here comes my little story of 'I am incompetent'."
Step 4. Act instead of thinking negatively
One of the most important things you can understand is that your actions don't necessarily have to reflect your negative thoughts. You can have a negative thought and still act in a positive, fun, loving, etc. way.
Method 2 of 3: Disperse Negative Thoughts
Step 1. Visualize any negative thoughts as they walk away
Imagine a balloon labeled with a specific negative thought, and watch it float in the air and move away. Alternatively, put your negative thought on a leaf, place the leaf on the water of a river, and watch it being carried away by the current.
Step 2. Turn your negative thoughts into a song
As bizarre as the idea may seem, sing out your negative thoughts. Use the melody of a song that is familiar to you.
Alternatively, you can say your thoughts in a funny voice, like that of a cartoon character
Step 3. Write down your negative thoughts
In doing so you will tell your brain that it does not need to remember them, because they have been recorded on paper. The brain may forget the thought, thereby breaking the cycle of "reminders," sent out when the anxious brain offers you a negative thought as an example of what you shouldn't think.
Step 4. Think the thought on purpose
Breaking the vicious cycle of anxious thoughts may not be easy, and make us think we are not in control. Try to voluntarily bring the negative thought back to your mind for a long time, until the related anxiety is dissipated.
- The next time you have a negative thought, accept the anxiety created by it and don't push it away from your mind. Over time, he will no longer bother you with the same intensity (you will be bored with it) and will be deprived of his power over you.
- Note that this practice is often done in the presence of an experienced therapist, however, if you feel you can handle it, you can start trying with a thought that causes you less anxiety.
Step 5. Learn to have a positive inner dialogue
By addressing yourself positively, over time, you will be able to rework more positive thought patterns. To get started, follow a simple principle: Talk to yourself as you would others, with kindness and support. If negative thoughts enter your mind, identify them as thoughts and respond with affirmations related to what is best for you. For instance:
- Negative dialogue: "It will never work." Positive dialogue: "I can try to make it work."
- Negative dialogue: "Nobody wants to talk to me." Positive dialogue: "I intend to try to keep the lines of communication open."
- Negative dialogue: "I don't have the resources to do that." Positive dialogue: "Necessity is the mother of ingenuity."
Method 3 of 3: Living with Negative Thoughts
Step 1. Define your values
Sometimes, when you feel overwhelmed by negative thoughts, anxiety, guilt, or anger, you lose sight of what really makes you feel satisfied. Take a step back and list the things that matter most to you, such as "Taking care of my family", "Maintaining my friends" or "Contributing to society." Writing them might help. Reconnecting to the things that matter to you can help you think more positively.
Step 2. Identify the areas that you can positively change
Ask yourself if your negative thoughts tend to be related to specific areas of your life, such as work, relationships, or health. Start with one of these areas and identify how the situation can be improved.
For example, if you are constantly stressed by work, think about what possible changes you can make. You may still have to work long hours, but you may find that you have also taken charge of what is not yours. As a result, you can eliminate some unnecessary tasks or improve your time management. You can also learn some techniques to help reduce stress
Step 3. Distract yourself positively
By keeping yourself busy in a fun way you will have less time to mull over your thoughts and you will recall the things you like.
- Go for a jog - your mind will tire and exercise will help reduce stress.
- Take a walk to a place you like, for example in a park.
- Watch a funny movie or TV show, read a book that can make you laugh, or listen to a podcast of your favorite radio show.
- Spend time with a friend, family member, or social group. Simply staying connected to other people will help make you feel more positive and distract your mind from yourself.
Step 4. Take care of your health
Eating well, getting enough sleep, and exercising regularly can help you feel better mentally and physically.
- Try to feed yourself in a balanced way, minimizing alcohol and sugar intake.
- Get at least six hours of sleep a night, preferably eight.
- Exercise for 30 minutes three times a week. A 30-minute walk, or two 15-minute walks, can also be helpful.
Step 5. Don't blame yourself for your negative thoughts
There is no sin in thinking negatively; negative thoughts are caused by anxiety and not by yourself (see the first part of the article on separating yourself from your negative thoughts). Longing for them to disappear could make the situation worse, so you will have to learn to accept those thoughts that you cannot control.
