Bad thoughts can haunt you for days, weeks, or months if you don't deal with them. They often come when you least expect it, when you over-analyze certain situations or when you feel that someone has insulted you in a subtle way. As painful as they are, bad thoughts are natural and your brain knows how to deal with them. If you suffer from severe depression or recurring bad thoughts, you may want to seek outside help, but in all other cases - and more often than you realize - you can overcome them on your own.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Blocking Bad Thoughts
Step 1. Remember that occasional bad thoughts are normal
This is perhaps the easiest way to start dealing with your troubles. Too often we think we are the only ones who have problems or that others do not understand what we are experiencing, but bad thoughts are part of life and, above all, sooner or later they disappear. Don't blame yourself if you have them, because it's not your fault.
- Avoid phrases like "It's my fault", "I shouldn't think this" or "I hate this thought."
- You've had bad thoughts in the past and you will still have them, but you are still here, alive and well. If you don't turn them into monsters, bad thoughts won't kill you.
Step 2. Try to understand what makes your thoughts "bad"
Why do they make you angry? What's going on in your head all the time? Bad thoughts often persist because you feel guilty, angry, or insecure about the future, so understanding why you are obsessed with the same thoughts all the time helps you shape them and find ways to deal with the problem. The most common causes of bad thoughts include:
- Guilt.
- Anxiety.
- Jealousy.
- Temptation.
- Failure or fear of failure.
Step 3. Slow down your thoughts by taking a few deep breaths
It is normal for you to feel anxious or nervous when bad thoughts suddenly surface in your mind, but resist the urge to get angry. Stop everything you were doing and take five long, deep breaths. Give yourself time to deal with bad thoughts instead of jumping straight to irrational or extreme conclusions.
- If you still feel nervous, try counting to fifteen.
- Go outside, leave the room or take a short walk to clear your head.
Step 4. Ask yourself why you often have bad thoughts
When you have calmed down and thought about the causes of your upset, you can start wondering why your thoughts are so negative. Here are some questions you can ask yourself:
- What concrete elements am I basing my fears and anxieties on?
- What are the positive aspects of the situation that I am not considering?
- Is there another way to assess the situation? How would others see me?
- Will this problem still be important in five years?
Step 5. Focus on the present
You can't control the future and you can't control the past either, you can only face the present. Many bad thoughts arise because we forget about this and make predictions or hypotheses about the future. If, for example, you are convinced that tomorrow at school the test will be very hard and that it will go wrong, your bad thoughts have no basis in reality, but when you find yourself facing the test, the previous night you will have already repeated it a thousand times to you. same that you will not make it, instead of looking for ways to make it easier. Don't let your assumptions about the future ruin the present.
Step 6. Look at your thoughts in perspective
The first reaction to bad thoughts is to exaggerate them disproportionately: "I'm tempted by another woman, it means I don't love my wife", "My boss didn't like the introduction, I'm about to be fired", "Everyone they have a nice car, except me: I'm a failure”. These thoughts are not only simplistic, they are also patently wrong. Remember that you are not in the center of the universe and that most of your problems have nothing to do with your happiness.
Remember the problems you had in the past, such as when you were dumped or fired: if at the time they caused you bad thoughts, today you have most likely overcome them without having suffered real setbacks
Step 7. Distract yourself with something specific that brings you relief
Go back to doing something that is able to make you forget your problems. Experiencing something related to pleasant memories helps relativize bad thoughts. Things haven't always been bad and they won't always go bad in the future.
- Reread your favorite book.
- Make a chocolate cake with your mom's recipe.
- Go watch your favorite team's game.
- Listen to a record you liked as a boy.
Step 8. Don't try to escape your thoughts or "push" them out
Repeating to yourself over and over that you don't have to think about something that makes you sick is like always thinking about it. You spend all your time telling yourself that you need to "stop thinking about problems" and don't realize that you are actually still thinking about it! You have to shift your bad thoughts in another direction or try to deal with them head on. Consciously trying to expel thoughts from your mind, however, will only have the effect of prolonging them.
Step 9. Work on yourself to be able to "let go" of problems
Instead of fighting bad thoughts, take a deep breath, acknowledge them, and try to move on. It is not easy to learn how to do this, but it is the only way to fight bad thoughts for the rest of your life. For example, you may be worried that your spouse has been fired. If it's money you're worried about, don't worry about finding a culprit and don't think about what could have been done to avoid trouble. Take note of the problem and then forget about it. Should it recur, you can always use the same strategy.
Your thoughts should be: "I cannot control everything", "I cannot change the past" and "We must move forward"
Step 10. Throw away your problems literally
It may sound strange, but a study from the US state of Ohio found that people who write down their bad thoughts on a piece of paper and then throw the paper away have a better self-image than people who keep the paper. Writing is a way to express your problems, and by physically getting rid of them you communicate to your body that it is time to move on.
The same research found that writing your problems to a file on your computer and then dragging the file to the trash has the same positive effect
Step 11. Talk about your bad thoughts with someone you trust
Getting your bad thoughts out of your chest and exposing them is a great way to understand what makes a thought so bad. Also, more often than not, it helps to understand that thinking is not as bad as it seemed. Once you have voiced your anxieties, you will be able to receive valuable advice and a different point of view from someone who has likely had similar concerns. Many psychiatrists have found that simply telling your thoughts in an environment that you are comfortable in can be enough to eliminate them.
Bad thoughts basically only make sense to yourself, so everything you say feels true to you. Having another point of view helps you find all the mistakes you make in your reasoning, allowing you to let go of that negative thought
Method 2 of 3: Breaking the Cycle of Negative Thoughts
Step 1. Learn to tell yourself positive things to combat persistent bad thoughts
Affirming something positive means taking the time to acknowledge that you are happy, in good health, and full of self-esteem. Negative thoughts (self-denigrating, self-deprecating, etc.) can be counterbalanced by positive affirmations. Practice saying, "I am…" and continue with something you like about yourself, such as "I am smart", "I am good at my job" or "I am a valued and lovable member of my family".
- Make a list of your positive attributes and put it in a place where you can see it on a daily basis, such as on your desk or bathroom mirror.
- Fight bad thoughts head on: if you keep thinking "I'm too stupid", acknowledge the many things you can do with positive affirmations like "I can fix cars", "I can cook" or "I'm smart".
Step 2. Find ways to fill your free time
Most bad thoughts occur during free time, when your mind wanders without distractions. Try to do activities that reduce the amount of time you spend alone in idleness. Do gymnastics, start a writing or art project, do community services.
Being alone is not bad; it is if you have nothing to do, because you become easy prey to anxiety and apprehension
Step 3. Recognize the people who trigger bad thoughts
Interpersonal relationships are among the most difficult territories to explore. You may find that you are trying in vain to understand what the other person is thinking, if that friend of yours is going to offend you or if someone is talking about you behind your back. If you have a friend or other important person who constantly triggers bad thoughts, however, it's not your fault. For some reason your relationship is not healthy.
- Get away from negative people - do negative thoughts disappear if you don't see them for a while?
- Avoid friends who constantly make fun of or insult you, skip dates with you, or disrespect your time or passions.
Step 4. In trying to resolve your negative thoughts, be proactive
Make a list of all the things you could do to get rid of your bad thoughts. For example, if you are continually worried about your relationship, ask yourself what you can do to improve it. Arrange a date, buy some flowers for your partner, talk to her, and then go out with your friends to have some fun alone.
You may not be able to accomplish all the things on your list, but having a series of actions to do helps you regain control over your thoughts
Step 5. Find a creative outlet for your negativity
Writing, playing an instrument, or painting your feelings are all good strategies for exploring negative thoughts and starting to deal with them. Remember to refrain from judging: what matters is expressing your thoughts, not criticizing them. Even if you don't have anyone to show off your creations, just putting them into practice is a good way to find an outlet for your bad thoughts.
Step 6. Remember to smile
Smiling has been shown to release substances into our bodies that make us happier. Show your bright white teeth and show the world that you are happy - you will be surprised when you see people smile back. In addition to social and chemical reinforcement, a smile can really make the difference between a sunny, happy worldview and a mind trapped in bad thoughts.
The reverse is also true: making a sad or frowning face favors bad thoughts
Step 7. If you can't shake your negative thoughts, see a professional
If you are depressed, have thoughts of suicide, or are permanently sick, you should call a mental health expert immediately. He has been trained to help you find your positive thoughts and will be able to support you in your learning process.
If you think that life is not worth living, see a psychologist immediately
Method 3 of 3: Preventing Bad Thoughts
Step 1. Take care of your body
There is a direct correlation between physical and mental health, and if you neglect one, the other suffers. Make your body the first of your worries, so that your brain is well equipped to handle stress and bad or difficult thoughts.
- Exercise 3-5 times a day for at least 30 minutes.
- Eat a balanced diet and avoid junk food.
- Hydrate yourself by drinking 6-8 glasses of water every day.
- Get regular sleep for at least 6-8 hours a night.
Step 2. Begin a path of meditation
Meditation has been shown time and again to promote positive thinking and mental health; it is a process that clears your mind and reconciles you with your thoughts. Make 10-15 minutes a day to sit quietly with your thoughts. Focus on your breathing and let your thoughts flow freely. As you progress you will find that you are dedicating more and more time to meditation and your bad thoughts will slowly fade into the background.
Step 3. Work towards achieving long-term goals
Many people feel negative thoughts creep into their minds when they envision their future, feeling a sense of stress and insecurity. Plan and write down your goals, then break them down into smaller, more manageable, and easier to tackle tasks. When you reach a milestone, celebrate the event, and when things get complicated never lose sight of the final goal.
For example, you may be worried about not being able to finish the novel you've always dreamed of writing. Instead of nagging yourself, give yourself 30 minutes every day to spend writing. As you become more comfortable, dedicate an hour to writing, then two, until you have quite a few chapters to review
Step 4. When faced with difficulties, react with your humor
Burying accidents and bad luck with laughter is the best way to stay healthy and active. Humor transforms negative events in a positive way, eliminating stress and worries. Laughing allows you to see your bad thoughts in a different perspective, allowing you to keep them at bay more easily.
- Laugh at yourself too: you shouldn't take life so seriously that you forget that you have to enjoy it to the fullest.
- Laughing is contagious, so hang out with people who like to laugh and tell jokes. By gravitating around people who like to laugh, you will be inclined to do it more too.
Step 5. Find a friend with whom you can be honest and talk openly
Knowing that there is someone you can be open and straightforward with makes your negative thoughts less daunting. Building mutual trust with someone takes time; To share your fears with another person, you have to accept that you are a little vulnerable, but a bond like this, ultimately, helps you to understand that you are not alone. When bad thoughts surface, you will know how to deal with them and there will be someone ready to help you.
