You got married with a solemn oath. All the promises you made to your wife now have true meaning, so it's time to start your journey. Fortunately, it is not impossible to become a good husband. It's about following your heart, your conscience, getting busy for the sake of your wife. These simple steps, when taken seriously, can guide you and your significant other towards a bright future.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Be a Man of Sound Principles
Step 1. Be respectful
Respect is a gesture of understanding. You have to understand that your wife is an independent person, different from you, she probably doesn't want to do exactly everything you want, even if your interests coincide in most cases. Here are four examples of how to show her your respect:
- Keep your promises. Follow the action with the words. If you tell her you're going to wash the dishes, don't be so soft looking for excuses while she eventually finds herself forced to do it for you.
- Be on time. If you say you are present at a certain time (for example, to pick up your child from kindergarten), you must be there. Your wife's time is as good as yours. Respect it.
- Stop taking things for granted. You cannot assume that she does something just because she is a wife and a woman. Get communication to a good level and learn to ask her a favor.
- Listen to what it tells you. Don't pretend, but really pay attention to her. Sometimes, you just need someone who really listens to us, or a shoulder to lean on. When he speaks, let yourself be absorbed in his speeches.
Step 2. Be a gentleman if he allows you to
Most women, almost all of them actually, find a gentleman to show gentleness and affection with his demeanor. If your wife thinks the same way, be prepared to show off your chivalrous side, referencing the costumes of the 17th century or so:
- Kiss her both when you meet and when you say goodbye.
- Bring grocery bags in place if they are too heavy.
- April brings her to let her through first.
- Offer her everything during appointments.
Of course, there's always the possibility that she doesn't want to be treated chivalrously. If so, don't take it personally. Keep showing your sweetness, even without special treatments
Step 3. Never lie
Make it a habit to always tell the truth. Think how you would feel if you found out that your wife has never hidden anything from you except the surprise birthday. Always inform her about your travels if she wishes. Let her know who you are with. Tell her what the reasons are that make you act in a certain way, however mean they may be, because being open and sincere, avoiding lies, helps to establish excellent verbal communication which is essential in any relationship.
Step 4. Never betray her
It should be understood, but it is good to remember. Betrayal is a form of lying. You wouldn't allow your wife to have an extramarital affair, so why should you have one? If you are in another relationship, try to think carefully about your life and ask yourself why you are married to that person.
- If you love your wife but have an unbridled desire for another woman, you need to understand that this is an unfair situation. Seek the comfort of a wife without having an exclusive and honest relationship with her. It is essentially a selfish attitude. You can't have your cake and eat it too.
- If you no longer love your wife, why are you still married? You'd both probably be happier looking for someone you really love or reciprocate your feelings. Think about it well.
Step 5. Minimize laziness
Apathy not only dulls your partner's enthusiasm, it's also a bad habit. You are not lazy if you watch the game every Sunday, but if you avoid something you "should" or "want" to do. Taking out the trash, surprising her by cleaning up once a week, or showing her that you have dignity can make a big difference.
Step 6. Try not to be selfish
We could argue for hours about the selfishness of human beings, yet one thing is certain: we are selfish creatures, but we have the ability to be selfless. Love should inspire a generous attitude. Instead of wondering what you could do for yourself, start thinking about what you could offer your wife, what you could do for the sake of marriage.
- Reduce jealousy to a minimum. From time to time, you happen to be a little jealous and there's nothing wrong with that, as long as it doesn't affect your wife's happiness. Generally, jealousy is a good sign because it means you care, yet it can also be a symptom of selfishness. Never stop her from doing something because of your jealousy.
- Learn to always seek a compromise. Try to meet her. Often, your wishes will not coincide and, if so, just change your expectations slightly. Don't expect to get exactly what you want or convince her that you are right.
Step 7. Never raise your voice, don't scream, and don't use violence
Your wife trusts you, believes you will take care of her and keep her safe. Don't set a bad example by letting your emotions bring out your worst side.
- Check the tone you use in discussions:
- Resist personal attacks. Here is an example of an incorrect and not very constructive tone that should not be used in an argument:
- You must never hit, hold back or threaten her with violence. Don't use your physical superiority to take advantage of her. You risk a complaint.
I'm afraid we're not respecting the family budget. I'm not making accusations. I'd just like to safeguard our happiness, so I'd like us to discuss it to find a way to change our habits by spending a little less
Oh yeah? Do you really want our kids to go to a great school? Then why don't you talk to your ex-boyfriend, aka the principal? You seem to get along great
Part 2 of 3: Show your affection
Step 1. It doesn't take much to make her happy
It's weird, but it's often the little things that enrich a relationship. Think how you could satisfy her even more? You don't have to do anything shocking to get the desired effect. After all, the real gift is the commitment and the heart you put into it:
- Strive to create a better relationship with the in-laws. It is one of the things that a wife generally gives a lot of importance to. You probably don't see them every day, but that doesn't mean she doesn't care: in the end, she just wants you to love them as if they were your parents too.
- Do you care a lot about charity? Make a microloan in her name as a gift. She will be proud of having given happiness to someone else.
- Do something in her place that weighs heavily on her. For example, if she hates washing dishes, do it in her place for the entire weekend by presenting the gift in the form of a "coupon".
Step 2. Try to be open with her
It seems strange, but it is a sign of affection: you will show her not only your trust, but above all your desire to share even the most intimate emotions. Women are generally more empathetic than men, so she will definitely appreciate your effort.
Step 3. Show her that you love her
First, why did you marry her? Let her know, also explaining how it makes you feel every day. Do it often. It will become a good habit to encourage the growth of your love, reducing stress a lot.
- Write her a short letter by hand. Leave her under her pillow, and when you say good morning, tell her to check under there. You could write "Every day I spend by your side, it becomes clearer and clearer that I am incredibly lucky. I love you.".
- When you are in the same room, approach her to give her a kiss on the neck, or hold her in your arms. You'll make her heart beat.
- Make a romantic, personalized fortune cookie, or write a note and then slip it into the cookie your wife is about to open. You can write something like "Only you could turn my heart to crumbs …".
Step 4. Offer your support
Supports her initiatives, such as Latin American dance lessons, or when she wants to go out with her friends; knowing that he has your support, he will feel safe. Allow her to take calculated risks. When he has nothing left to fall back on, he will know that in any case you will be by his side to be his rock, his inspiration, his lighthouse.
When she feels down, find a way to cheer her up. Bring her breakfast to bed, give her a foot massage, or rent her favorite movie. Remember that small gestures are very important
Step 5. Keep the romance alive in the relationship
It may not be the first thing you think about when you wake up, but romance is key in a healthy marriage. Do not assume that after the fateful yes there is no longer a need, because it is important to add some spice to the relationship. Ignoring it entirely would be a mistake. What if your wife decides not to keep the line anymore? Be a man and act like one - show your romantic side!
- Go out alone at least once a month. Some couples manage to find the time to do this once a week, but every 30 days is enough. Set a date, perhaps choosing a special occasion, such as the start of the courtship. Or, plan an exciting activity, such as skydiving, a whale watching trip or just a special movie.
- Celebrate the anniversary. It's an important date for your wife and it should be for you too. It has a deep symbolic meaning, and it also offers you the possibility of renewing your love. Forgetting this anniversary would be a big mistake. Organize at least one dinner and put a bottle of sparkling wine in the fridge.
- Keep the flame of passion alive. Don't let things get cold in bed and don't take anything for granted. Try to please your wife and keep exploring your sexuality.
Part 3 of 3: Practice the Tips
Step 1. Trust her completely
Many passages in this guide are built on trust. If you can't trust your wife, you are probably extremely unhappy. Learn to give her the same confidence that you would like to receive from her.
Step 2. Reveal your personality
Marriage offers you the opportunity to get to know a person more and more, year after year. If you keep some sides to your character hidden, marriage probably doesn't offer you what you want. To receive something in return, you must be willing to give something of yourself. Reap what you sow.
Try to have long conversations; make her laugh; share your interests, hobbies and occupations; take it to the places you consider special; encourage her to connect with your family (and do the same with hers); discuss topics you are passionate about; reveal your fears, doubts, weaknesses; show yourself for who you are, don't try to become the person you think would like you to be
Step 3. Remember the golden rule:
do not do to others what you would not like to suffer.
It is not only important for an ethical question, but it helps to overcome the storms of marriage. So, before you act or speak, put yourself in someone else's shoes.
Of course, you have to have the right perspective, you can't intentionally misunderstand other people's desire. If in doubt, think, "What would I want to happen if I were in my wife's shoes?" Generally, it is a very useful method for dealing with situations
Step 4. If you are a religious person, share your beliefs with your wife
Strengthen your faith with its help, trying to make sense of the mystery of life together. Offer all of yourself to your wife, just as you dedicate yourself to your god. Be true to your values.
Step 5. Be proud of your appearance
Of course, you must follow the basic rules of hygiene, always being clean, both indoors and outdoors. Maintain the same level of cleanliness as your wife. If you care about your wife's appearance and hygiene, she is likely to feel the same. After all, when two people love each other, feelings should be mutual, right?
Advice
- Be romantic. From time to time, buy her a treat when you think she deserves it, without choosing anything excessive. After all, there's no need to spoil her too much.
- Show her your affection in front of her friends; for example, you could compliment her.
- Help her family in some way, such as with shopping or with home repairs.
- Trust her!
- Give it your time and effort.
- Listen to what he says to you and take his words constructively, not as a lecture.
