Many middle school students wonder if they are popular. This stage in life can be difficult for both boys and girls. In fact, bodies and emotions change and we begin to give importance to what society thinks. If you are also going through this phase, don't be afraid. To be popular in middle school, you need to learn to stand out, be sociable, and improve yourself without losing sight of yourself.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Get Noticed
Step 1. Let everyone know that you are okay with yourself
The key to being popular is to get others to notice you and get them to get close to you. If you just walk around the halls alone, get visibly intimidated by classes, or look at everyone wary, you won't make a good impression and people will think it's a pain to be with you. The trick to persuading others to want to know you better is to let them see you laugh and have fun; you will encourage them to want to spend time with you.
- When hanging out with your friends, make an effort to smile and have fun so that they know you like going to school.
- Even when you walk alone in the corridors, smile at people and convey positive vibes, so they will want to meet you.
Step 2. Stand out from the crowd, but for good reason
Getting a pink Mohawk haircut or showing up to school in a swimsuit is sure to get you noticed, but it won't give you the kind of attention you want. To stand out positively, you need to let people know you and smile at just hearing your name. Here are some ways to not go unnoticed:
- You might be the guy who always walks around with a guitar, and who actually knows how to play it.
- Maybe you have a contagious laugh, which people can hear from meters away.
- You could stand out for your strong aesthetic sense. Try to show off a unique style. You can have a hipster or rocker look, so that it is recognizable by everyone.
- You may have a very low, hoarse voice that is totally unique. Whatever your most interesting trait is, don't try to hide it. Remember that you want to get noticed thanks to what makes you special.
Step 3. Join a team
Joining a sports team is not only a great way to move and be happier, it's also great for meeting people and getting to know each other. You don't have to become the star of the team, just have fun and train diligently in your free time. Whether the team is from the school or from outside, get involved in sports so you are more likely to meet a variety of interesting people.
- Maybe in the end the sport doesn't convince you or you have problems staying constant. However, if you dedicate at least one year of middle school to this activity, you will have a better chance of making friends and expanding your social circle.
- Playing sports also teaches you the importance of street play and dealing with different talents and personalities. This helps you to relate to people in daily life and acquire skills that will allow you to become popular.
Step 4. Take up another afternoon activity
There are a number of hobbies that can help you meet people, get involved, and become a more interesting person. Choose an activity that you really enjoy: music, theater, languages, and so on. Practice it consistently. Try to become an important member of the association you frequent and take advantage of this position to improve it and get to know many people.
- Don't think it's uncool or nerdy to engage in an after-school activity. You can only benefit from it, especially when you are in high school. In fact, you will have met many people and had enviable experiences from those who have never put themselves into the game in middle school.
- Joining an association or team, if you have the time, is ideal for getting to know a variety of people. People who play theater hardly resemble those who play sports.
Step 5. Try to have various interests
The more you do, the more people you know. And the more people you meet, the more chance you have of standing out and getting people to associate a face with your name. Play football, join a theater company, volunteer. Do whatever you find interesting and take advantage of your position to make friends.
If you dedicate yourself to a single interest, you will only be surrounded by a single type of people. The key to being truly popular is being able to be liked by a variety of people
Step 6. Make your voice heard in class
Maybe you think it's not cool to participate or talk in class, you prefer to get distracted at the back of the classroom, giving the impression that you have better things to do. Instead, it is better for you to intervene and study, so as to make it clear that in fact you know what you are talking about. You certainly don't have to become the teacher's cuddly, but talk enough to make yourself known to your classmates. At least, they'll think you're cultured.
Make sure you don't sound like a know-it-all when you speak. Be open and respectful every time you answer a professor
Part 2 of 3: Making Many Friends
Step 1. Be friendly to anyone
If you want to be popular, make an effort to be sociable, even if you tend to be shy. You don't have to completely change your personality to learn how to socialize with everyone, and you don't have to approach only people who can improve your status. The worst thing you can do is become a social climber who has a reputation for only talking to people who can help him become popular. Instead, take your time to make friends with anyone you meet on the path - it will pay off in the long run.
- Whenever you meet someone you know who doesn't seem busy, say hello and smile to them, or wave them. You don't have to have a lot in common with someone to be nice to them.
- It's not cool to be mean, like the girls in the movie Mean Girls. This attitude will work on the big screen as well, but being unpleasant in the long run will backfire.
- Treat others kindly. Be friendly to people, do favors for the sake of helping, not because you think they'll invite you to birthday parties.
Step 2. Be interested in others
If you want to be truly popular, then you need to let people know that you really care, whether they like you or not. Prove it by taking the trouble to be friendly, asking friends and acquaintances how they are, asking about their interests, families and goals beyond school.
- When talking to someone, remember to ask questions like "Do you have any plans for this weekend?" or "How's your day going?". He will realize that you actually care about what happens to him.
- Work on listening as much as you work on what you say. If you just talk about yourself and all the cool things you've been trying lately, people will quickly lose interest.
- When talking to others, you should also ask for their opinions on a variety of topics, from the latest cookies on the market to a certain hobby. Asking for feedback shows that you care about people and value what they think.
Step 3. Try to make friends with different types of people
If becoming popular in middle school is a matter of life or death for you, you should be able to socialize not only with the most admired kids, but with other types as well. By only talking to certain people because you think it makes you cool, then in high school you will have problems, because there you will be forced to deal with a greater variety of people. If you're not used to talking to anyone, it will be hard to find friends. Try to chat with everyone, from the cute girl who goes into the classroom next to yours to the guy you always meet in the hallway.
You don't have to become everyone's best friend, but look for people who are interesting and capable of teaching you something. Do it naturally
Step 4. Talk about more and less
The chatter of this type is far from obvious. Being good at mastering this art can help you talk to people and make them feel comfortable before deepening a conversation. To talk about this and that, you just need to approach a person, greet them and ask them how they are. Asking small questions can help you move towards a more meaningful dialogue, leading your interlocutor to open up. Here's what you might say in these moments:
- “Have you seen World War Z? It really hit me a lot. How did it seem to you?”.
- "I can not believe it! The algebra test was really difficult. I studied all week and didn't answer half of the questions well. How did it go to you? ".
- "How was the game? I'm sorry I missed it”.
- Ask questions that don't just require a positive or negative answer, allow your interlocutor to elaborate on what he or she will say. If he can answer in a monosyllable, the conversation could end there, and you won't know what to say anymore.
Step 5. Make people laugh
Getting a laugh out of someone is key to being successful and popular. If you don't mind being considered the clown of the class (in a good way), go ahead. Do you prefer to hit people with your sharp jokes? This is fine too. And if you're good at teasing others and making them double up with laughter, then use this ability to your advantage. Don't force others to laugh, rather try to maximize the strengths of your humor when trying to entertain someone.
When you talk to someone, see when they tend to laugh the most. Make a mental note of what you did to make a smile and try something similar in the future
Step 6. Learn to laugh at yourself
Having a good dose of self-deprecation is essential to being likeable, sociable, and popular. People think cool guys think they are perfect, able to always do everything right, and in fact it would be a breath of fresh air if others realized that you can be popular without taking yourself too seriously. You don't have to criticize yourself or be insecure to learn to laugh at yourself, but joke about your weaknesses and worries to show that you are good in your own skin.
- Nobody's perfect. If people realize that you can tease yourself while talking about this and that, they will appreciate you even more.
- If you can't show your self-mockery and are so sensitive that you can't even stand the jokes of others, then people will assume that you are heavy. And nobody wants friends who take themselves too seriously.
Part 3 of 3: Be the Best Version of Yourself
Step 1. You need to look neat, but don't obsess about it
If you are a girl, don't wear heavy makeup. If you are a boy, you don't have to wear the trendiest shoes or jeans of the moment to be considered popular and attract the attention of others. However, you should take care of your appearance, so that your clothes are fresh from the laundry, your body clean and your facial skin is not oily. Only then will people have a good impression of you, at least on a superficial level. Plus, a good look also makes you feel good about yourself.
Girls shouldn't wear makeup just because their friends do it, but because they really want it. Natural beauty is much more attractive than artificially achieved with brushstrokes of eye shadow and gloss
Step 2. Believe in yourself
While it is impossible to become self-confident overnight, you can strive to believe more in yourself, be satisfied with the way you are, what you do and how you look. Try to think about your best qualities instead of dwelling only on the worst flaws. When you go to a place, show yourself happy to be there, as if you deserve it. You can fake this mood until you are really convinced. As low as your self-esteem is, behaving confidently can go a long way in getting others to respect you.
- Try to have confident body language. Stand straight, don't hunch over and look straight ahead instead of staring at the floor.
- When you talk to others, make eye contact with them. This shows everyone that you don't shy away from social interactions.
- Don't get discouraged. Being overly critical of yourself just to get attention or to have something to talk about will lead others to think that you have no self-esteem at all.
Step 3. Be original
If you want to get noticed, then you have to be original in one way or another, whether it's through a unique look or unusual points of view. Don't act weird or have experiences that make you uncomfortable to be different. Just embrace your quirks, thoughts and actions that make you special. People will notice you if you dedicate yourself to your individuality instead of following the flock.
- Don't dress like others just to be accepted. Find a style that fits your personality.
- You don't even have to like the same music that others listen to to be popular. You will be more respected if you take the time to find bands you like and share them with others.
- Don't be afraid to voice your opinions in class, even though they don't fit with others'. Unique ideas will get you noticed.
Step 4. You excel at something
Another way to easily get noticed, be awesome and feel good about yourself is to be good at something, whether it's becoming the most insightful girl in literature class or the best forward on a football team. Do not think that it is not cool to give importance to an activity, on the contrary. Grow what you like and work hard to improve. It will pay off in the future.
- Being good at something will not only make others notice you, it will allow you to develop a good personality.
- If you immerse yourself in an activity that really interests you, you will be less likely to give weight to what people think and you will have a better chance of making friends in the meantime.
- Being good at something will also make you a more dynamic and interesting individual. People will appreciate you even more if you talk enthusiastically about your passions. The important thing is not to flaunt.
Step 5. Stop caring what others think
In junior high, it seems virtually impossible to avoid giving importance to the opinions of others. In fact, many spend a good deal of their time talking and gossiping, worrying about how they are perceived. It is absolutely natural to dwell on the opinions of people in such a delicate stage of growth both from a physical and an emotional point of view. In fact, you still don't have a sense of belonging, you still don't know yourself fully.
- If you recognize that you are not the only one feeling insecure or wondering what others think, you will begin to give much less importance to the opinions of others.
- Focus on the things that make you happy instead of worrying about what others will say or any teasing.
- If you live doing everything you think will be approved by others, you will never be satisfied.
- When in public, stand straight, show pride instead of mirroring yourself every two seconds, fiddling with your clothes, and wondering what they think about your appearance.
Step 6. Remember that the averages run out sooner or later
The popularity you have at this school won't matter to anyone once you go to high school. In fact, at that point a new stage will begin, and it will no longer have any weight what you were in the past. Middle school ends at 13, so it's clear you have a whole life ahead of you. Live them peacefully and make friends with those who make you happy. What's the point of being popular if you have no friends and no one appreciates you? Take this transition phase more lightly, use it as a stepping stone to fulfilling adolescence.
Among other things, according to a lot of research, kids who are not very popular in middle school often have success as adults. If you don't consider yourself cool, remember that the situation will only turn around in the future, provided you are committed. The kids that everyone envies, on the other hand, lull themselves into popularity, without thinking about improving and growing
Advice
- Don't be mean to others. Having a grumpy and unpleasant attitude will make everyone turn away. However, if someone offends you, respond calmly, but with a touch of insolence. Don't insult him, mock him sarcastically.
- Don't only hang out with people of the same sex. Make friends with everyone.
- See what's trendy at your school and rework the style your way. Add a touch of creativity, experiment and set trends. Nobody likes scripts.
- Don't be sassy or full of self.
- Be unique and spontaneous to stand out from the crowd, but don't make the mistake of wandering around the hallways rambling about senseless and bizarre arguments just to get noticed. Of course, if you're naturally like that, go ahead, but don't act weird for the purpose of getting attention.
- You don't have to be accepted by the most popular group in school. People considered as such are not necessarily better than others, remember that there are so many special people, all to know.
- Try to understand the shape of your face and body to choose the clothes and hairstyles that flatter you.
- Drawing very well (for example manga) can help you get noticed.
- Don't pay attention to people who offend you - they don't deserve a damn thing. Plus, they'll go crazy when they realize their opinions don't affect you in the slightest.
Warnings
- Don't get obsessed with the pursuit of popularity. You are who you are, and nothing can change it. Learn to accept yourself and not go crazy trying to be considered cool.
- Never criticize someone's way of being or looks. Rumors circulate fast, and no one wants to befriend a critic.
- Don't give in to social pressure from your classmates, especially if it comes to consuming drugs or alcohol. A person who forces you to imitate him or do harmful things is certainly not a friend.
- Don't be vulgar - you won't impress anyone. Speak politely.
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Don't dump your friends in an attempt to become popular. Childhood friends will always be around you, as long as you hang out with them and talk to them regularly. The people you think will help you get to know everyone are not as reliable.
If you are being bullied and can't find a solution, tell a parent, professor, or other adult you trust. Nobody has the right to mistreat, insult or beat another person
