If you're thinking of giving up and giving up on your goals, chances are you've already faced a series of trials, hardships, and rejections. You may be tired of people telling yourself that "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" and you want to know how to become more optimistic and keep fighting to re-emerge. First, you should be proud of yourself because you keep trying. After that, you can work to develop a mentality and a professional ethics that will guarantee your success, as long as you continue to pursue your dreams.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Developing a Winning Mindset
Step 1. Develop a more positive attitude
While you may think it's nearly impossible to be optimistic, when you realize you've tried them all, to no avail, it's important to think positively if you don't want to give up. Thanks to optimism, you will grasp the positive aspects of your life, which you have probably missed, because you are too focused on the negative ones. You will also be more inclined to welcome new opportunities and possibilities because you will look at life with a non-renouncing attitude.
- It is true. Through a more positive view, you will not only be able to face challenges, but also to embrace others. If you are bitter or focused only on your failures, then you will not be able to move forward.
- If you find yourself complaining or whining, try to counter your negative view with two positives.
- While you shouldn't feel like you are pretending if you react positively when in reality you are very sad, you need to know that by pretending, you will slowly begin to see the better side of life.
- One way to be more optimistic is to surround yourself with happy people who make you appreciate the meaning of life more. If all of your friends are gloomy and demoralized, then it will be difficult to have a positive mindset and not give up.
Step 2. Learn to accept changes
If you want to get into the right mindset to not give up, you need to be able to adapt to changes, accepting them and wallowing in them. You certainly panicked when your boyfriend dumped you or when your family announced you were moving to a new city, but you need to learn to adapt to a new situation, focus on what's new and find the right strategy to take advantage of it.
- As Sheryl Crow said "A change of scenery will do you good." Even if you are upset or destabilized, repeat to yourself that this may be the best solution.
- See change as an opportunity to learn something new, meet new people and become a more balanced person. While I still can't grasp the positive aspects of the situation, you should be proud to face it calmly and move on.
Step 3. Learn from your own mistakes
If you want to be able to not give up, then you have to get into the right mindset that allows you to accept the mistakes made and to draw a lesson from them, to avoid the same problems in the future. Although you feel discouraged or embarrassed when you make a mistake, you should take a step back to understand where you went wrong and never make the same mistake next time.
- While everyone would prefer not to make mistakes, they help avoid others. For example, you may realize that you were wrong about dating a possessive boyfriend who ended up breaking your heart, but this mistake could save you from choosing the wrong husband in the future.
- Don't deny that you could have acted differently. If you are so careful to always look perfect, you will never learn.
Step 4. Know that there will always be other possibilities for success
Although it is important to live in the present, you should try to find other stimuli for the future, instead of thinking that it has nothing to offer you; if you think you've missed the train, then good opportunities will never come, because you won't be able to seize them.
- You may think that because you didn't get your dream job, which you interviewed for three times, you will never pursue the career you like, but in the long run, you will find that you will be able to find plenty of jobs that are suitable for you., even if it will take some time.
- You can also try changing your definition of success. Of course you may have thought that real success would have been selling your novel when you were 25, but at 30, you may find that success can also depend on teaching literature to willing high school students.
Step 5. Deepen your knowledge
If you want to have more resources to help you succeed and not give up, then you need to keep gaining knowledge and learning more about life and the situation you are in. If you are thirsty for knowledge and are intrigued by the world, you will discover that there is always something to learn and there are other opportunities to look for, in everything you do, such as going to university, finding a new job, or selling your novel; the more experience you will have, the more you will be able to face any challenge.
- Of course, reading is the most proven way to acquire new knowledge. This means reading novels, newspapers, or your favorite subject on the Internet, or talking to experts in the field and trying to get in touch with people knowledgeable in the subject of your interest.
- As long as you are aware that there is always something to learn, you will not be able to give up.
Step 6. Be more patient - good times will come if you keep trying, because success takes time and constant, ongoing practice
You might think that just because you applied for 10 jobs, sent your manuscript of your novel to 5 agents, or dated 10 different guys, something should have worked out. However, the road to success is full of obstacles and you should never give up before starting to try.
- Sometimes it can be helpful to talk to those who are going through the same situation. For example, you may feel grounded because you applied for 20 jobs and didn't get any feedback; well, a friend of yours who has just been hired might tell you that he applied for 70 jobs before he had an interview. It takes a lot of effort to achieve the success you aspire to.
- You may think that you are intelligent, gifted and willing and that any school, employer, or potential soulmate would be lucky to have met you. While this may be true, you cannot expect people to choose you simply because you are aware that you are awesome; it takes a long time to prove who you really are.
Part 2 of 3: Facing the Obstacles
Step 1. Do not become a victim of acquired helplessness
In that case you would be convinced that you will never succeed because the whole world is rowing against you. If you want to be able to cope with adversity, you need to learn to embrace new opportunities instead of thinking that you are doomed to failure.
- A person who is a victim of acquired helplessness will believe in something like "Well, I haven't had the last five jobs I applied for, which means that I will never be able to find a job. There must be something wrong with me, or to get a job I have to have the right recommendation, so I don't even have to worry if I keep failing."
- A person who wants to take control of his own destiny must strive to think positively and feel that he has the right power to change the situation. She has to think something like, “Even though the last five interviews haven't worked for me, I should be happy that employers are showing interest in my professional profile. If I keep submitting my CV and getting interviews, I will eventually find a perfect job."
Step 2. Find a mentor you trust
Another way to deal with adversity is to find someone who can help you overcome the toughest challenges. Having a person next to you who has already gone through your situation or who has found the way to break into your field can help you gain confidence and continue to pursue your dreams.
Chances are your mentor has had his fair share of challenges and obstacles and can offer you some advice
Step 3. Build a strong social network
In addition to having a mentor you trust, a strong social network can also help you hold on through times of need. Having friends you can rely on, family members who love and care for you, and being part of a community of people who care about each other can help you feel less alone in coping with obstacles.. If you feel like you have to deal with the situation on your own, you will most likely feel disheartened and quit.
- Having someone with whom to talk about your problems, even if that someone is not always able to give you the right advice, could give you some hope in the future.
- It can also help you relieve stress; you will tend to feel discouraged if you keep all your emotions inside.
Step 4. Don't forget to take care of yourself
If you are going through a difficult period, it may happen that the last thing you want to do is eat three meals a day, take a shower every day, or get enough sleep. However, if you want to keep moving forward, you need to maintain the right physical and mental strengths.
- By striving to eat three healthy, balanced meals of lean protein, fruit, vegetables and simple carbohydrates, you will feel more energized and ready to face adversity.
- Try to get at least 7-8 hours of rest a night and go to bed and wake up at the same time.
Step 5. Try to be an active person
If you want to be able to keep going, then you can't just sit around complaining about all your failures, get depressed in bed, or find excuses that justify all your failures. You have to be a person of action and find a tactic to be successful; that means coming out, applying for jobs, hooking up with others, going on appointments, or doing anything that allows you to achieve your goals. If you stand still and complain and pity yourself, then good things will never come.
- Of course we all need to sit down and take a moment to feel sorry for ourselves. However, don't allow these emotions to throw you into a crisis and keep you from trying again.
- First, sit down and write a program written to be successful. With a list in hand, you will feel more capable of getting what you want.
Step 6. Increase your self-confidence
It is true, your trust may have been compromised, if you have spent so many years doing the same underpaid job, which you are not satisfied with, but don't let that stop you from feeling up to something else. While building trust takes a long time, the sooner you start, the sooner you will be able to cope with challenges.
- Make an effort to erase all doubts and to convince yourself that you can achieve whatever you want. If you question your abilities, then everyone you meet will do too.
- Go out with those people who make you feel good about yourself, instead of putting yourself down.
- Pretend a positive attitude until you can pull it off. Stand up with your back and don't cross your arms. Show yourself happy and ready to accept all the adversities that the world gives you.
Step 7. Don't let yourself be beaten down by setbacks
You may have heard the optimistic phrase "What doesn't kill you, makes you tough." However, strictly speaking, this expression is not always true. In fact, if you take a lot of defeats, and get discouraged by them, you will get beaten down instead of developing a harder armor. You have to learn to accept disappointments and learn from them, instead of thinking you don't deserve success.
- Whenever you fail, sit back and reflect on what you have learned. Think about how you might have reacted, to be successful next time.
- Be proud of having failed. Many people don't come out straight away. It is certainly not fun to fail, but it is the only way to get what you want.
Step 8. Don't let your past affect your future
You may think that, since you have failed many times in the past and had no luck in selling your first novel, in dating someone, or in losing weight, you will never be able to do anything good. However, many successful people have had difficult beginnings, have grown up in misery, and have taken doors in their faces more than once. Let your past empower you to succeed.
- Surely you may think that the work done so far has done nothing but detract from your value and make you feel inadequate. However, that doesn't mean future jobs will be the same.
- If you think you are destined to replicate the past, you will sabotage yourself. For example, if you are in a perfect relationship, but all you do is think about previous relationships, then you will screw this up too, because you don't think you deserve the best.
Part 3 of 3: Stay Strong
Step 1. Set achievable goals
Another way to stay strong is to make sure you set goals that you can achieve. Of course it's great to want the moon, but the reality is that you should set yourself small goals that lead you to the final ones, so you will be proud of your path. If you make your life more feasible, you will be inclined not to give up.
- For example, if you have the goal of publishing a novel, you will be disappointed for all the years in which you have tried and failed, and you will feel like a failure.
- However, if you have smaller goals, such as publishing a short story in a local newspaper, then publishing a short story in a more established newspaper, and then writing a draft of a novel, and so on, then it will be easier for you to achieve these small goals along the way. the way and you will be more confident in the future.
Step 2. Look for other ways to make your dreams come true
Okay, no one wants to hear that, but sometimes it would be a good idea to sit and think to see if you are torturing yourself by setting yourself goals that are impossible to achieve. You would like to become a Broadway actress; While this dream can come true, you may also find a way to do what you love and inspire other people by teaching acting, auditioning, or even blogging to discuss your attempts to enter the art world.
- You shouldn't think of it as a way to lower your expectations, but as a way to enjoy life.
- You don't want to spend the rest of your life feeling like a loser because you didn't achieve fame? This feeling will make you dissatisfied with everything.
Step 3. Manage your stress
Another way to be strong in the face of defeat is to learn how to manage stress. Whether you can't find a job that offers you the benefits you need, or can't juggle your family and write a screenplay, you need to find a way to manage your stress, to ease your path to. the success. Here are some tips:
- Spend more time with people who help you stay calm.
- Get rid of the greatest number of stressors.
- Loosen the pace of work whenever possible.
- Practice yoga or meditation.
- Reduce your caffeine intake.
- Avoid alcohol as a coping mechanism.
- Talk about your problems with a friend, loved one, or psychotherapist.
- Write a diary.
Step 4. Avoid repeating the same thing, expecting different results
If you want to be persistent and not give up, you have to evaluate the situation from another perspective. If you have sent 70 job applications, without any feedback, you must avoid sending 70 more; instead, you need to review your cover letter or CV to make sure it is up to date, devote yourself to other volunteer jobs, or spend more time on social relationships. If you keep doing the same thing over and over, it will feel like you are banging your head against a wall.
- For example, if you went to 25 first dates, not followed by second ones, then you should be wondering what you can do to connect with other people. This does not mean that there is something wrong with you, but that you have to change your point of view.
- Sometimes you may realize that you need a radical change. For example, if you keep begging your boss for a raise or more responsibilities, but you get nothing, then probably the only way to get what you want is to find another job.
Step 5. Don't let anyone lower your self-esteem
It is easy to feel that you have to give up if everyone around you tells you that this is the only alternative. However, you cannot allow others to tell you who you are. You must commit yourself so that self-esteem comes from within and you must not let others demean you as a person.
- Of course, if people offer you constructive advice, you should listen to them. If they really want you to improve, then you should listen to them and find out how to improve.
- Know that there is a difficult world out there and that many people spend most of their lives dealing with waste. Do not think that you are the only one, and try to change your attitude towards this unpleasant aspect of life.
Step 6. Look at your life in perspective
If you want to have the grit and motivation to move forward, you need to step back and take a look at the overall situation. Is your life as bad as you think? Even if you don't have your dream job right now, you are still lucky to have one in this time of crisis. Okay, sometimes it's awful to be single, but at least you are in excellent health and have many friends who wish for the best for you. Remember all the positives and use them to find the right motivation to achieve your goals.
- Make a list of all the things you need to be grateful for. List all the positives that make your life worth living and look at them often. This will make you realize that things are not as bad as they seem to be.
- Thank your friends and loved ones for what they have done for you. It will help you understand that your life isn't all bleakness and depression.
Step 7. Join a community of people who share your goals
If you have alcohol problems, join a group of anonymous alcoholics. If you are looking to publish your novel, associate with a group of writers. If you are looking for a soul mate, hang out with a group of singles. You may think you are the only one in the world with a certain problem, but if you make an effort, you will see that you are far from alone.
