How to get angry (with pictures)

2024 Author: Samantha Chapman | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 09:13

You can allow yourself to get angry without turning into a monster like the Incredible Hulk. Whether or not you have an anger problem, learning to deal with it correctly and use it to your advantage is important for mental and physical well-being. Learn to understand anger and turn it into a positive force in your life.

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Constructively angry

Step 1. Focus on the things you usually let go of

If you want to get angry to motivate yourself and learn how to use anger to change your life for the better, it's important to do it right. The easiest way to get angry is to focus on the little things.

If your boss has a habit of hitting you a job at the last minute, just when you are about to take off your shift, and you usually smile and swallow, try letting out some anger.
If your partner occasionally cuts you out of his life and acts taciturn and cold, don't let it go and don't apologize, but get angry.
If your friend is talking behind other people's backs and constantly spreading gossip and slander, don't ignore it.

Step 2. Always take it personally

The next time someone starts a sentence by telling you, “Don't take this personally, but…” all you have to do is say no. To provoke your anger, imagine that everything is a personal attack or has an ulterior motive.

Pay attention not only to words, but also to actions. If someone talks over you all the time, forgets your name, or decides to ignore you for any reason, you assume they have some bad intentions

Step 3. Focus on your drawbacks

If you intend to project your anger onto external factors, a great way to motivate yourself could be to blame the circumstances. If you were born into a blue-collar family, use this excuse to explain your inability to be successful and let it serve as a motivation to make you work harder than those luckier than you.

Also pay attention to the benefits of others. For example, if someone went to a type of college that you couldn't afford, use that as a reason to explain their success, instead of considering their abilities. Stay focused on what others have but you lack

Step 4. Focus on the injustices in the world

Sometimes it is enough to pay attention to what is going on around you to get angry. Read a newspaper, listen to the radio and focus on the stories of injustice - just look around.

Watch an online investigative documentary to quickly unleash your anger: classics of the genre include "The Act of Killing" and "The Thin Blue Line"

Step 5. Stop apologizing for outbursts

You can't always control situations that make you angry, but you can decide how to express your anger. It is a feeling that you can manage and learn to control starting right now. Don't back down thinking that your anger is out of your control or that you can't exploit it.

Part 2 of 3: Managing Anger

Step 1. Think of it as a tool you can use

Anger is like water: if controlled correctly it can be exploited to obtain great power and great energy. The water can be channeled to move turbines and produce electricity to power an entire city, but if not controlled it can create a tsunami capable of destroying this very city. Learn to build appropriate levees for your anger and you can use it for constructive purposes and not to destroy things.

Step 2. Set reasonable goals for your anger

It doesn't have to be an emotion to be accepted or rejected completely. You need to set a set of attainable goals for yourself to keep the situation under control, using anger productively. Never try to stop it in the bud: don't try to control it, but rather to control the way it manifests itself.

If you usually scream, set a goal not to raise your voice when you feel angry. Make it your goal to learn to communicate without yelling.
If you repress it until you suddenly take it out on minor things, you decide to work out the causes before it later turns into anger.
Regardless of how your anger manifests itself, the least healthy thing you can do is become violent towards yourself or others. Under no circumstances should you allow yourself to punch or break objects, or hit other people.

Step 3. Identify the main causes of your anger

What sets off the spark? Try to recognize and anticipate the situations, places, and people that make you seethe with anger, so that you are prepared to deal with it when it comes to channel it towards productive purposes.

Dig below the surface. If you feel that your boss is to blame, who sometimes makes you angry, think about how, when and why this happens. Perhaps this person highlights something that makes you angry: try to understand what it is.
Be as honest as possible. If you feel angry that your boss embarrassed you in front of your colleagues, ask yourself if this was justified. Did you make a mistake and did you deserve it or was it something totally unexpected?

Step 4. Set "speed limits" for your anger

Psychologist John Riskind believes that the most dangerous element of anger is the feeling that it rapidly increases in intensity until it becomes out of control. This often causes people to perform gestures that may seem useful in the short term (such as yelling at the person who cut your way in the car), but which have lasting consequences, such as embarrassing their partner, threatening a stranger and raising the pressure. sanguine. These are the values that the psychologist assigns accordingly:

140 km / h and beyond: seething with anger, explosiveness, violence.
Between 100 and 140 km / h: fury, anger, rage.
Between 80 and 100 km / h: resentment, indignation, anger.
Between 50 and 80 km / h: agitation, disturbance, annoyance, irritation, frustration.
Less than 50 km / h: calm and tranquility, peace, serenity.

Step 5. Pull on a rubber band to keep anger under control

It is important to awaken one's attention to avoid a violent outburst and collect thoughts. For many people who easily hit the 140km / h mark, a little painful strain can be very profitable. Put a rubber band around your wrist and tug every time you are about to get angry enough to lose your temper. Let the slight pain you feel clear your thoughts and help you focus - you can overcome your anger.

When your anger exceeds your normal speed level, you need more time to calm down and process it. Learn to value it, then be prepared to review it, starting right away

Step 6. If necessary, abandon the situation for a moment

In some cases, the best way to process one's anger in the moment is to leave the room, get away from home or the office and give yourself the opportunity to calm down for a moment. If someone comes looking for you because they are intrigued by your behavior, say something out loud that can help you reinforce what you are doing, such as:

"I'm fine, I just need to take a breath of fresh air".
“I take two steps. I'm fine, I'll be right back ".
"I'm a bit frustrated, so I'm leaving for a minute. Everything is fine".

Step 7. Breathe

It's a classic tip that always works. Deep breathing is proven to reduce stress hormones and calm a person down faster than any other technique. Close your eyes and take 5 deep breaths, holding the air for 5 seconds, then releasing it gradually.

It may sound silly, but visualize anger as a black, viscous substance that you throw out with every exhale. While holding the air, feel it rise and feel the relief by letting it go out of your body

Step 8. Take the matter calmly, if possible

It is important not to avoid the things that make you angry, but to control your outbursts and return to face the situation in a calm and composed manner. If you bring yourself back to a more manageable speed limit you will be able to cope.

Return to the business meeting and speak privately with your boss about why you felt unfairly called into question. Ask him what you can do to avoid such a situation in the future, using a calm and relaxed tone

Part 3 of 3: Channeling Your Anger Elsewhere

Step 1. Use it to make positive changes

Anger can be a very powerful motivational tool. Michael Jordan used to stick insulting phrases from other players into the locker room and use them to motivate himself: this helped him win 6 NBA championships and other accolades. Instead of letting your anger boil and cracking the dishes, use it to get things done.

If it makes you angry that your co-worker is continually being praised while you are being ignored, use this energy to work harder and better in the future. You do so much work that you get noticed.
If things that are more difficult to recognize or understand make you angry (such as the sense of frustration you feel about your love affair), you need to focus on communicating your feelings and discussing them with the people involved. This could mean making big changes (such as breaking up a relationship) if you have the impression of finding yourself in a situation that you cannot change.

Step 2. Get to work

The best way to manage anger is to engage in whatever activity you have to do. Among the productive things you can do instead of being dragged into unproductivity are:

To clean the kitchen.
Rearrange the garage.
Doing homework.
Prepare a dessert or something else good.
Go to the gym and punch the bag.
Write.

Step 3. Give yourself a regular time to be emotional

Remember that it is never wrong to feel angry: what you need to avoid is letting yourself be overwhelmed by anger and being led to commit incorrect or inappropriate acts. Believing that anger is not right often causes angry people to repress it until it gets worse later.

Step 4. Release it on the physical plane

In addition to offering an excellent distraction from what makes you angry, exercise can be a good way to cope with anger and free the body from stress, increasing the production of endorphins that serve to relax you in the long term. It's hard to stay angry for long when you're too busy exercising. Do something that keeps you moving, like:

To play basketball.
Try boxing.
Jogging.
Practice with circuit training.

Step 5. Avoid self-destructive anger management strategies

While smoking a cigarette or drinking a glass of whiskey may seem to relieve anger, addiction to harmful external agents will not help in the long run. Not to mention the fact that alcohol, tobacco and other drugs actually increase and amplify the physical effects of anger, such as blood pressure and heart disease.

Step 6. Try to understand how anger affects your mental and physical health

Everyone gets angry: if managed correctly, anger is a motivational tool as well as a normal emotion. However, in many people it can grow out of all proportion and become uncontrollable, thus harming the psychophysical well-being.

High levels of stress and anger are more likely to develop heart disease, can raise cholesterol levels, lead to diabetes, immune system problems, insomnia and high blood pressure.
Those who suffer from frequent fits of anger often also have other disorders such as blurred thinking, difficulty concentrating and a greater tendency to depression.