If daydreaming is hindering your daily life, it probably means that you need to improve your concentration and leave your dreams for the night. To avoid staying with your head in the clouds, first of all you should understand what relevance your fantasies have and what they are aimed at. Then try to use some techniques that allow you to contain them, increase your concentration and dedicate yourself to something that favors your attention threshold.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Analyzing the Tendency to Fantasize
Step 1. Try to understand what daydreams are for
If you want to change this habit, it is essential to know why you tend to daydream. If you don't know why something is happening (that is, what the actual problem is), you will have a harder time coming to a solution. Sometimes, people fantasize about escaping stress and other painful sensations. They can escape into their imaginary world so as not to experience unpleasant and painful emotions, but also to console themselves by dreaming of satisfying all their desires. It is also likely that their fantasies are related to the need to forget something (a trauma, a sense of despair, etc.). This way, they actually manage to ignore certain situations or past memories.
- Make a list of the most common daydreams and the meanings they might have. For example, if you often dream of talking to friends, it probably means that you are trying to clarify your ideas about something that could happen and what are the best answers to give. To give another example, fantasizing about buying a home could lead you to think about a better tomorrow and have hope for the future.
- Ask yourself: "In general, why do I feel the need to daydream?". Do you do it to escape, to distract yourself, to feel better or to pass the time?
Step 2. Learn to identify the pattern of your fantasies
By doing so, you will be able to develop an effective strategy to contain them. Do you happen to enter your imaginary world especially when you are at school or at work? Are there any situations that trigger this behavior?
Notice how often you daydream. Schedule an alarm to calculate how many times you fantasize in an hour. For example, as soon as you notice it, write it down on a sheet of paper. This way, you will have a greater awareness of the moments when you actually slip into your enchanted world. It may take a few minutes before you realize that you are dreaming, but that's not a problem, because you just have to write down as many times as it happens
Step 3. Find out what the negative consequences are
If your fantasies negatively interfere with daily life - for example, they affect work or study, social relationships or personal obligations - then they are likely to be excessive and harmful. Unfortunately, wandering with the mind can fuel a feeling of unfulfillment.
List the negative consequences of your fantasies. For example, you might include: little time spent with family or friends, lack of concentration that impairs academic performance, inability to get your job done because you get distracted often, friends and family feel like you don't listen to them because you are completely absorbed in your thoughts
Part 2 of 4: Using Techniques That Allow You to Reduce Fantasies
Step 1. Improve your awareness
To begin to change, you must first become aware of the moments when you begin to enter your imaginary world. Once you understand the meaning, the pattern, and how your fantasies affect life, learn to know when you are about to give in to them.
The signs that you are about to abstract yourself from the surrounding world include: losing eye contact with your interlocutor, having difficulty concentrating on what you are doing, forgetting what was just said in a conversation, thinking about things that have no meaning. relationship with contingent circumstances, inventing dialogues with people or imagining events that happen only in your head
Step 2. Keep a journal of your fantasies
As soon as you realize you are daydreaming, stop immediately and write down what you were imagining, but also the time, situation or place and duration. In this way, you will begin to become aware of the moments in which you let yourself be absorbed by your thoughts and better understand your behavioral patterns.
Ask yourself about the usefulness of your longings. Ask yourself if they help you in any way
Step 3. Set rules and limits for your daydreams
Some types of fantasies have negative effects. For example, if they are about people you don't know very well, they can fuel a sense of loneliness, while if they are connected to people in your life, they can foster bonding and a sense of overall fulfillment.
- Set limits that, if crossed, will dissuade you from fantasizing. For example, avoid getting lost in dreams that touch the sphere of intimacy, wasting money or acts of extreme violence.
- Sometimes, when you are absorbed in your thoughts and wasting time, you just need to look at the clock. This way, you will remember how precious it is to make the most of the moments you are experiencing as they never come back!
Step 4. Use your ability to be estranged
Try to wander with your mind to reflect on yourself and plan personal goals. Imagination and visualization techniques are widely used in psychotherapy, especially to treat anxiety and depression. By putting them into practice, you can direct your dreams to something useful and relaxing.
- A guided visualization exercise involves closing your eyes and imagining that you are in a safe place. This could be a beach, a bedroom, a church, or any other place that makes you feel safe and relaxed. Imagine all the sensations it gives you. Consider the temperature, the air, the physical perceptions and all the emotions it awakens. Imagine the smells and noises as if you were really in that place. Are there other people? What are you doing? Stay there with your mind until you are completely relaxed and ready to reopen your eyes.
- You can find online resources that can guide you through this experience.
Step 5. Get up and move
As soon as you realize you are daydreaming, get up and dedicate yourself to something more dynamic. By releasing some of your physical energies, you can keep your thoughts at bay and regain focus.
- Try stretching. Reach up as far as you can. Then spread your legs while standing and lower yourself down until you touch the floor (go as far as you can).
- You can jump, run in place, or wave your arms. Try to do some exercises appropriate to the place and situation you are in.
Step 6. Give yourself a reward after you focus
Whenever you manage to complete a task without falling into the trap of your fantasies, give yourself something. In other words, you should adopt the method based on positive reinforcement thanks to which, according to some research, you have the possibility to activate an operative conditioning in order to increase more productive behaviors (such as that of improving the attention threshold). At the same time, you will be incentivized to set personal limits (for example, not switching to lighter and more fun activities if you do not complete what you are doing) and to wait for something rewarding to arrive (the reward).
- Try indulging in something you like, like a dessert or snack.
- As a reward, you can also take a 5 minute break from work. When established intelligently, interruptions actually improve people's performance. Use these moments to indulge in something enjoyable, like playing your favorite game or texting a friend.
Step 7. Consider psychotherapy
Daydreaming too much could become a problem and compromise your personal life, causing difficulties in relationships, at school, at work or in other daily activities. In these cases, psychotherapy can be helpful.
Contact a psychologist, family or couple counselor, or psychiatrist
Part 3 of 4: Increase Concentration and Attention
Step 1. Try exercises that promote full awareness
When you daydream, you are engrossed in fantasies or thoughts not necessarily related to what's going on around you. Having full awareness of the present means paying attention to the surrounding reality.
- Try to focus on everything you feel, watch and taste while eating a piece of fruit.
- Use the Internet to learn about mindfulness practice and learn new techniques of concentrating on the present.
Step 2. Use "grounding" techniques
Grounding (or rooting) allows you to distance yourself from emotional suffering. It is especially useful in more complicated situations, when you are at the mercy of emotions that you cannot manage, and it replaces in a healthy way the tendency to daydream or fantasize. You can do grounding exercises at any time you feel the need to focus. Once finished, go back to the previous task. You may find that your attention level has increased after practicing these techniques.
- Name some of the objects in the room and their different uses.
- You could also say the name of a color or animal that crosses your mind.
- Avoid spending too much time on these exercises, otherwise you could use them to spark your fantasies. One minute will be enough, then resume what you were doing.
Step 3. Get enough sleep
Lack of sleep can increase the tendency to daydream. If you don't give your mind the right night's rest, there is a risk that it will be hyperactive during the day. Furthermore, those with insomnia problems are much more prone to suffering from depression, anxiety and physical illnesses.
- Develop a schedule that regulates your night's rest (that is, set when you need to fall asleep and wake up) and get at least 8 hours of sleep each night.
- Try some relaxation and breathing techniques to get to sleep in the evening.
Step 4. Give yourself a break
If you find yourself getting distracted by your thoughts, you may want to take a break. Sometimes, when we start to lose focus, it means that we have worked too much. In fact, a break can improve personal performance, especially in concept activities.
- Try taking a walk or stroll down the street.
- Take a few minutes to do something you like, grab a snack, listen to some music or turn on the TV.
Step 5. Keep yourself mentally and physically busy
If you start entering your imaginary world when you have nothing to do and are lazing around, try to get active. Those with attention problems can actually regain concentration by moving.
- Get a pillow, soft toy, or stress ball to play with.
- According to some people, music helps you focus better when doing simple chores. In fact, it allows you to distract the mind from certain thoughts and direct it to more important aspects.
Part 4 of 4: Engaging in Activities that Increase Attention
Step 1. Find new pastimes
Engage in fun activities to focus your attention on.
- Do something inspiring. For example, you could take a hike to a beautiful place, meditate, go to an art exhibition, etc.
- Exercise. Try cycling, hiking, playing sports, dancing, taking an aerobics or yoga class.
- Avoid anything that can make you fantasize, like watching too much television. Excessive use of television risks inhibiting creativity and increasing the tendency to daydream.
Step 2. Talk to a friend or family member
Generally, those surrounded by adequate social support enjoy better mental health. We need the help of others to deal with any kind of problem, including being too alienated with the mind or too distracted.
- Talk to someone you know well who can put you at ease. Ask him if he is willing to answer your phone calls and have a chat when you notice that you are particularly absorbed in your thoughts.
- You can ask friends or family to notify you if they notice that you are daydreaming. In this way, you will be more stimulated and aware in the management of your problem.
Step 3. Plan less and do more
By planning, you risk daydreaming, because you are prone to over-reflecting on a situation and taking time away from achieving a goal. In these cases, you need to stop fantasizing and get to work!
- Make a plan and stick to it. If you fall into the trap of your own thoughts, get up and walk away from the situation or do something more productive.
- If you find yourself daydreaming, gradually pick up on what you were doing before your mind started wandering elsewhere. Try to be indulgent with yourself by not judging yourself.
Advice
- Follow your dreams. If you have the chance to make an important one, don't stop! This way, you will be able to keep other fantasies at bay.
- Try increasing your willpower. The tendency to fantasize can turn into something of an addiction, so you have to be persistent if you want to learn how to manage it. Try to get more sleep to improve concentration during the day and avoid daydreaming.
