One of the most common reasons an employee quits their job is to have a difficult boss. If you find it nearly impossible to work with your boss, then it's time to take action to improve your relationship or think about a few steps to take if you feel the situation is getting out of hand. If you focus constructively, keeping your cool, you might be surprised after all how easy it is to handle a difficult boss. To make the work environment more positive and comfortable, start reading the article from the first step.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Improving Relationships
Step 1. Talk to your boss
Talking to your boss about the problems you're having may actually seem like an absolute last resort, but that's where you're wrong. If you really intend to improve your relationship with him, instead of waiting for things to get worse, then the most convenient thing to do is to ask him if he can dedicate some time to talk, communicating what you feel, while maintaining your professionalism. Once you're in front of him, make eye contact, speak to him clearly, and let him know about the problem.
- Make sure you point out how your problem relates to him, not some aspect of his personality. Talk about your difficulties communicating, which are making it more difficult to achieve goals, or how you are struggling to meet deadlines due to changing expectations. Frame the conversation in such a way as to accentuate the fact that the company is successful, which can only happen if you and your boss work better together.
- It is important to choose your words carefully. Avoid personal attacks, which could offend him, and focus on discussing the job.
- By talking to him well in advance, you will not take the boss by surprise, giving the situation the seriousness it deserves.
Step 2. Work with the boss, not against him
If you really want to improve your relationships, then you should work together with him to change the status of the company for the better, rather than against him. While it may seem convenient to make him sound stupid in a meeting or send a passive-aggressive email, in the long run this behavior won't do your relationship any good and won't make you feel any better. Also, as relationships worsen, it will be harder to get the job done and, at the end of the day, nothing will be more counterproductive than this.
Help your boss achieve his goals by showing availability, presence and solidarity. Even though it is difficult to manage, your life will be easier if you move with a grain of salt rather than without it
Step 3. Keep track of all your conversations
Keeping track of all conversations, whether through emails or reminders, will help you manage the situation with your boss and will be helpful for two reasons. First, having any documentation or clue about the things he says will help you in case your boss gives you confusing instructions or denies that he said what he actually said; you can use the written communication as evidence. Second, having a record of everything he tells you can be helpful if your report is so problematic that it forces you to report the situation to a supervisor; in that case, you will have written proof that something is wrong.
- If you are really struggling to communicate with your boss, try to have all communication happen in front of someone else, so that you have proof of what happened if he tries to deny it.
- Document everything you think is relevant to your relationship with the boss. For example, you can buy a pocket diary in which to enter problems on the appropriate dates. But keep it private - it's not a good idea to take it out and scribble notes in front of him, because you could make him mad. Your notes are your stuff, so record and keep all your worries with the facts that happen.
Step 4. Anticipate problems before they arise
Another way to improve your relationship with the boss is to keep an eye on the problems that may arise and react in a prepared and foresighted manner. If you know that a bad car accident has occurred on the freeway and that your boss will be late, try to delay the meeting until he arrives or work begins for him. If you know he gets nervous after meeting a difficult client, give him space instead of heightening his agitation, which could lead to an argument.
If you know that he is having difficulty carrying out a certain task, try to keep yourself relatively free so that you can help him
Part 2 of 3: Maintaining the Right Mindset
Step 1. Avoid being emotional during any discussion with your boss
Even if he is the one, it is advisable to keep some professionalism on your part, so that he cannot use anything against you. Note that he may become even more irritated by your calm and professional attitude, and if so, tell him that you want to continue the conversation, but the last thing to do is to make him nervous, so suggest that they address this later. If you lose your temper, he may scold you, even if you are angry for a completely legitimate reason.
- If you are emotional during a conversation, apologize by asking to resume the conversation later.
- If you raise your voice, stop, slow down and take a few deep breaths. If it is not possible to keep the conversation at a normal level, then resume it later.
Step 2. Prepare to discuss criticism of yourself when a difficult boss approaches you with their concerns
Of course you will have problems that are recommended to discuss personally, but if he feels criticized, he can turn the tables and focus on you. If it happens, be professional. Listen to his concerns and tell him that you appreciate his feedback and that you will work towards it and then politely come back to any problems you have. Don't be defensive and don't ignore anything he tells you.
- In fact, it can be helpful to ask yourself if you're doing everything you can and right before starting a conversation with your boss. You risk having problems with him if you have done something wrong without you realizing it. It is best to anticipate anything he may say, such as the fact that you are always late or that you need to give more time to proofreading reports, before starting the conversation. If not, you can be taken aback.
- Don't interrupt the boss and wait for him to finish giving his feedback. It is not recommended that you think you don't care to listen to it.
Step 3. Understand that it is not possible to change your garment
If he is a difficult person to manage, not only for you but for others as well, then the likelihood of changing him is minimal. If this is the case, use the opportunity to simply let him know about your problems. At least he can't say he's never been informed of what's bothering you. Even if you cannot change him or his personality, it is hoped that talking to him is a way to achieve evolution. Also, consider focusing your efforts on improving your relationship without changing him.
It may be that you two are not compatible with each other. If so, then you'll need to find a new way to partner with him, unless you feel like you've run out of resources. Sometimes, you may need to accept the differences before moving on
Step 4. Maintain your professionalism when confronting your boss, even if you feel your blood boiling
Keep calm and be ready to listen to any complaints or lessons he might give you. Don't use foul language or personal attacks, don't be obscene, and don't say anything that jumps into your mind as if you're having a fight with a close friend. Remember that you have a business relationship with this person, not a personal relationship; even if she starts to be unprofessional, don't make it an excuse to follow her example.
If you have something specific to tell him, maybe try to take note or mentally repeat it before making sure you come up with professionalism. It is not appropriate to start saying something and then realize that you are getting out of the way in the middle of a conversation
Step 5. Never step over the boss if you can avoid doing so
Not only will this cause hostility between you, but your boss's boss can report it to him, which can result in an even more unfavorable situation. You could override it if it feels like you've done everything but in vain, or if you feel it is sexually inappropriate, discriminates against you based on age, sex, race, or some other external factor, and that you need to take measures from above.
If you step over your head at the first sign of a conflict, you risk causing irreparable damage to your relationship. If you try to talk to him before doing it with someone else, you can save both the relationship and the pleasure of working together
Part 3 of 3: Taking Additional Measures
Step 1. Talk to your supervisor if necessary
If you feel like you've tried everything and still need to speak to a higher-level executive, then it's time to arrange a meeting with a supervisor to discuss any issues you have with your boss. There's no reason to put off the inevitable if you can't work with him anymore. If you've done everything and you know your relationship has reached a point of no return, then it's time to talk to a supervisor about the situation. Don't be nervous and stick to discussing the facts, instead of being influenced by emotions. The more concrete the examples you bring, the more respect you will get.
Make sure you use professional language and avoid gossiping about your boss in front of a supervisor. It is also not recommended to say something that causes your supervisor to lose respect for you. Remember that it is best to appear calm and reasonable, and to highlight your boss as the cause of all problems
Step 2. Act accordingly if you feel you have been discriminated against
If you truly believe that you have been discriminated against due to factors including age, race, gender or something else that is beyond your control, then now is the time to act. You can consult a union or seek an employment law attorney if you think you have been discriminated against and are in a protected bracket. Don't be nervous when taking these steps if this is what is happening to you; even if it won't be pleasant, it may be the best way to satisfy your needs.
Step 3. See if you can be transferred within the company
One possibility, not as extreme as leaving the company, but which can make you much happier in the workplace, is to try to be transferred to another unit or even under a different boss. If you are having serious problems with your boss and supervisors or other company figures understand your position, then they may be willing to accommodate your needs. If you make it clear enough that you are no longer able to work under your current boss, despite you like the company, it is possible to find an agreement that will make you happy.
Of course, all of this depends on the atmosphere at work and whether such agreements are generally - or even only occasionally - made in the company where you work. Do your research to see if such a thing has ever happened before, and look for suggestions on how to proceed. Of course, you should try to find out without letting everyone know the particular situation you are in
Step 4. Decide if it is worth leaving your job
Unfortunately, when it comes to the labor market today, good jobs can be few and far between, depending on the sector in which you operate. Before you decide to re-enter the job market by leaving your current company, you should ask yourself if this change is really worth it for you. If work is a source of physical and mental pain and you feel you can't take one more day because your mental health is also at risk, then it might be time to leave. However, if you are only mildly annoyed or frustrated, it is best to resist or evaluate your options before you step down.
- Of course, if your boss is inappropriate because he discriminates against you or other unreasonable things, then there is no question about it - you have to leave.
- The ideal would be to look for a new job, while keeping the current one. By having a job, you will be a more attractive candidate for other companies.
Step 5. Research carefully before accepting another job offer
Even if you are exploding in the current job situation, it is necessary on your part to do your research carefully before taking on a new offer. If you're in despair, you can grab the chance to work in a new reality, even if it's not necessarily a good solution. You could end up in a company with a boss who is even more problematic (although this may be difficult to imagine now), and it will only make your working life worse. It is important to take your time and make sure you are leaving a hostile environment for a convenient one before making the switch.
- When you are interviewing for a new job, be sure to talk to other people in the company to get an impression of your prospective boss as closely as possible, before accepting the offer. Although in fact, until you start working there, you don't know 100% what it will be like, you should follow your instincts to guess if something is wrong.
- Even if you rush to accept a new offer because you want to spend as little time as possible on your current job, resist the temptation to take something that doesn't seem so convenient just because in this way you can permanently get away from your boss. Convince yourself that looking for a job in which you can be truly happy in the long run is a worthwhile investment of time.
