I know a department that keeps losing talented people, one after another. There is nothing strange about it. The boss was an idiot. ~ A. A.
It happens that new bosses in a company, a hospital or other institution arrive and think they are better than the others. There are also garments that have been annoying from the first moment. Annoying bosses abuse their authority without scruples. Consumed by power, they lose sight of reality, turning the work environment into hell. If you allow or indulge this influence in the workplace, your working life will end up driving you crazy.
Here are some tips for overcoming the devastating effects of overly ambitious and annoying bosses on your workplace.
Steps
Step 1. Try to define the reasons why you find your boss annoying
There are many possible reasons, but don't fall into the trap of finding it annoying just because it asks you to do your job at certain levels when you have other things to do! The real elements of annoyance include feelings on your part about an unsustainable office, with constant interruptions, in an unpleasant and possibly even frightening atmosphere, due to your boss's actions, as well as his dislike or rude interactions with the staff.. Signs of an annoying garment could include:
- A boss who does not support the staff and tries to devalue them, or who even gets to take credit for the good work of others.
- A boss who deceives or lies about employee results, or is unable to reward or acknowledge the work done right.
- A garment that threatens excessive or inappropriate consequences for jobs delivered late or in certain ways.
- A boss who doesn't take responsibility for mistakes, but uses workers as scapegoats and blames the staff when things don't go as they should.
- A boss who applies favoritism in the workplace, putting some employees on a pedestal for no reason.
- A boss who publicly humiliates, panders, devalues, verbally attacks or teases staff.
- A boss who has no interest in your private life, and goes so far as not to support you in case of family crises or other personal matters that need to be addressed in working hours.
- A boss who poses as a superior all the time, believing himself to be much better than others, and expecting everyone to hang on his lips to avoid unpleasant consequences.
Step 2. Recognize the actions of an annoying boss
As well as identifying the boss's behaviors towards staff and knowing how it makes you feel, it can be helpful to recognize certain unacceptable actions regularly committed by annoying bosses. They can include actions like this:
- Insulting colleagues in very personal ways, often publicly
- Invade your private space without asking
- Threatening you verbally or physically
- Attack you via the web
- Rudely interrupt yourself in a meeting
- Look bad at you
- Act as if you are invisible when it suits them
- Avoid congratulating yourself even when you clearly deserve it
- Rethink every single thing or demand perfection
- Making sarcastic jokes or teasing you to make you uncomfortable
- Remembering in front of everyone where you are in the organization chart
- Touching you even though it is evident that it bothers you
- Ambiguous attacks - you get one thing from your boss, only to find out later that he said the opposite thing to someone else
- Stealing customers or contacts from other employees
- Speak badly about the company
- Refusing to help or explain anything you ask of them (denying it under pressure from other people, insisting you didn't ask for help), etc.!
Step 3. Do not allow the attacks others make to you to affect your self-esteem
Understand that while it may seem otherwise, this attitude is ultimately not a personal attack on you as a worker or as a person. More often than not, these bosses are trying to demonstrate a higher level of professionalism by "believing" they are doing the right thing, focusing their energies upward and not concern for the staff.
Step 4. Such a boss might be prowling around the office, department, etc
looking for errors that disqualify or discredit potential threats. It's vital that you don't take this personally but see it for what it is - your boss's inferiority complex, which he tries to pass off as fake security by using staff to cover up his own failings. When you try to see it this way, you are doing what is known as "unhinging" to reduce the damage the situation does to you.
Robert Sutton explains that the trick is not expecting an annoying garment to change (unlikely to happen), but expecting the worst, while knowing that you'll be fine when it's all over
Step 5. Lower your expectations of the boss and focus on the positive aspects of your job
Step 6. Be a Model Employee
Familiarize yourself with work protocols and understand the principles that drive what you do. In other words, be prepared to offer a plausible explanation to any questions from the boss. This will also provide you with a suitable excuse to keep him at a safe distance.
- Be perfectly matched to your profession and able to respond based on the parameters of your resume. It might sound ridiculous, but a lot of workers don't fully understand their role, and they become an easy target for the most authoritarian bosses. If you step out of your professional background, prepare solid reasons to justify your actions, explaining how it did not interfere with your duties and how your boss can benefit from it.
- Earn respect by flaunting confidence in your work. Be organized and optimize your time.
- Don't provide your annoying boss with footholds to attack you about breaking professional rules. Firmly adhere to break times, avoid going out early, and be at work a few minutes earlier rather than later. Meet deadlines, or still keep everyone informed in case you don't make it. Don't give your annoying boss reasons to find fault with your job or with you as an employee.
Step 7. Prove your competence without arrogance
In a sneaky way, defeat an annoying boss with your obvious knowledge. Try to highlight your talents and dissuade your annoying boss from further instigating you. If your skills are evident and highly respected, an annoying boss will tend to step aside, knowing that he risks making a fool of himself by putting a spoke in the wheel without success. Don't be arrogant, but show professionalism and confidence when needed.
Try to win battles rather than war. While the big deal with your boss won't go away, a series of small wins can boost your confidence, make your way to the workplace, and encourage others to do as you do, eventually leading to undermining your boss's approach and empower you and your colleagues
Step 8. Maintain professional distance and limit contact with your annoying boss
Overconfidence with bosses who show poor managerial skills is a perfect recipe for disaster, which can even contaminate you along the way.
- Keep a relatively safe professional distance by avoiding private conversations, where you may reveal information that could later be used against you.
- Avoid meetings with your annoying boss as much as possible, or keep them short (look for a room without chairs).
- A good dose of mystery is great for keeping you safe, and helps keep you interesting in the eyes of the boss.
- Don't give in to the temptation to become one of the boss's "favorites". Not only can he suddenly become a disadvantage, but not being in this role also means that when they notice his incompetence from above, you will not be complicit in his attitudes or favoritism.
Step 9. Avoid comments that are not constructive
Stick to the facts and what you know, and don't stoop to criticizing the boss.
- Learn to think on the spot. Many annoying bosses have poor social skills, which is why we find them annoying. They are likely to ask you questions, at the worst times, catching you by surprise or when they know you will falter and gibber. This reflects a position of power, an insecure person. Always remember this, as it will help you manage the situation effectively, knowing the real reasons behind the aggressive attitude.
- Kindly apologize when a confrontation becomes unbearable. If you are losing control in an argument or are having trouble explaining and making yourself understood, find an excuse, and walk away. Go to the bathroom, smoke a cigarette, throw candy in the parking lot, etc., but don't get dragged even deeper into the situation.
Step 10. Learn to relax in the presence of your annoying boss
Being nervous or scared will only make you an even easier target at work and very often you will end up becoming his mental punching bag. Calm is a form of controlling the situation, and also very effective, as long as you manage to maintain it.
- Don't feel like a victim. Don't answer as such; rather, be calm, emotionally detached from the irritating boss, and don't try to control what you can't control. Instead, focus on what you can control and help others endure as well.
- Recognize how calm can infuriate a person unable to control their anger. Don't let her lack of self-control unnerves you - observe her for what she is.
- Find allies. Find someone you can trust and share strategies for coping with the situation.
- Try daily affirmations or meditation to stay calm.
- Breathe deeply and count to 10 before responding to an insult or other irritating attack from your boss. Think of the chefs of "Cucine da Incubo" who answer nothing but "Yes Chef!" (then find out what they really felt!).
Step 11. Don't fall victim to gossip
Sometimes irritating bosses will try to extort your negative views on other coworkers. While disappointing, if a person finds out that you gossip about her, they will give a negative opinion about you at the request of the boss. This leads to filtered information, which becomes more distorted as it passes from word to mouth, creating the wrong impression, potentially damaging your professional reputation. Avoid giving in to this destructive attitude by refraining from belittling your colleagues.
Step 12. Find buffer zones
Find rooms where you and your co-workers can go and stay in peace after being annoyed with the boss. Relax and support each other.
- Just make sure it's really a safe area, and there's no way your boss will enter. In this case, look for somewhere further away, such as a cafe, park, etc. For example, nurses may hide in a dedicated room away from doctors, or engineers in a common room where bosses never go.
- Avoid gossip, but at the same time don't back down from constructive discussions about the boss's counterproductive behavior. You can talk about the facts instead of belittling a person with gossip. Find the right balance and you will have the support of colleagues.
Step 13. Find another suitable job if the environment you work in becomes unsustainable
An alternative could be to search for other positions in the same company if possible, for example in another department. When moving around, however, be cautious about your boss and your feelings towards this person; people aren't impressed with a potential new colleague gossiping about an old boss.
Advice
- Believe in your abilities. Don't doubt yourself.
- Communicate openly. Avoid the secrets, or you will only create suspicion and further doubt.
- Be transparent. Others will also know that you have no hidden goals.
- Meet deadlines and demonstrate your skills as a valuable member of the group.
- Act like you know what's going on, even when you don't know. This way you will have time to catch up on what you are missing or to get comfortable.
- Ask for help if you need anything. There are various possible options, from human resources to consultancy to trade unions. Ask for advice from whoever seems most suitable for you.
- Under no circumstances should you express your frustration in petty or false ways. It would only make it worse if your boss found out.
- When trying to determine why you find the boss annoying, be prepared to acknowledge that he may simply remind you of some other unpleasant person in your life.
