An affair implies a loving encounter with someone outside the official romantic relationship. It is usually considered a betrayal of trust and can represent a painful experience for anyone involved in the affair. An extramarital affair could also form the basis for divorce. Adventures could be physical and / or emotional, and there are many stated reasons for having an affair. There are several things you can do to try and end an adventure. However, we warn you that not all relationships can be terminated.
Steps
Method 1 of 2: Your Adventure
Step 1. Use inner dialogue
From a psychological point of view, repeatedly reminding yourself that adventure is a choice and not a necessity can help you free yourself emotionally, so that you can take steps forward to end the adventure.
Step 2. Make a commitment to stop the adventure
If you want to interrupt an adventure forever, you have to make a total commitment to change.
Step 3. Act now
Once the decision has been made to end the adventure, it is important to stop it immediately. Realize that the longer you wait to act on the decision you have made, the more you will become attached and it will eventually be difficult to distance yourself from the relationship.
Step 4. Remind yourself of the destructive nature of an adventure
Adventures involve stealthy attitudes, lies, and hiding sides of yourself from the people you love, but that's not the right way to handle a relationship. Plus, adventures can be emotionally tormenting and can turn your life upside down. Use this awareness as a foothold to stop an adventure.
Step 5. Ask yourself about the nature of the adventure
Try to understand why you are cheating on your partner, so that you can focus your attention on those needs that you think are not being met by your official relationship.
Step 6. Make a backup plan
Consider the adventure as an addiction. You will have to work on your unmet needs to be able to put an end to the adventure, which could imply the need for therapy, psychological counseling for addiction problems or another of the many processes of self-realization.
Step 7. Admit your faults
Once you are committed to ending your adventure and come up with a recovery plan, you may decide to reveal the secret to your partner. Remember that, although it can be difficult and can cause a lot of pain, admitting your faults is the only way to move forward in a relationship in total honesty and frankness.
Step 8. Stop the adventure
Prepare the speech that you will give to the person with whom you are having an affair and expose things in a definitive way. Don't leave the question open, as this could only prolong the process. Writing a letter or sending an e-mail is a good way to communicate the end of a relationship without making yourself vulnerable to the resistance exercised by the other person.
Method 2 of 2: Your Partner's Adventure
Step 1. Recognize that you, alone, cannot interrupt an adventure
Your partner must be genuinely interested in ending the adventure and must make the necessary changes independently.
Step 2. Evaluate the adventure
The type of relationship your partner is experiencing and the reasons behind that relationship will play a role in determining how to handle the situation.
- Emotional betrayal. Emotional betrayal may not be physical, but it involves the partner's need to feel wanted, cared for, appreciated and / or loved.
- Physical betrayal. Physical betrayal may be focused more on physical gratification than anything else.
Step 3. Talk to your partner
After taking the time to step back and analyze both the causes and the meaning behind the betrayal, you can approach the situation with discernment and come to a workable solution.
- Present a plan. To end an adventure you must be able to provide viable alternatives, based on the nature of the betrayal. For example, if the adventure was based on an emotional need, you could commit yourself to developing your skills to take care of your partner by supporting their emotional development. If the adventure was purely physical, you might suggest following a couple sex therapy or something similar.
- Commit to working on your relationship.
- Recognize your role in contributing to the success or failure of the relationship. This does not mean that you should take responsibility for your partner's actions, but rather you should recognize your responsibility in having contributed to the development of possible factors that have threatened the well-being of the relationship by exposing it to betrayal.
Step 4. Let your partner feel pain at the end of their adventure
Despite the many damages caused by the affair, you must realize that it meant something for your partner and that therefore he has the right to recover from the end of the extramarital relationship in a spontaneous and natural way.
Advice
- Forgiveness is an important part of moving forward after a betrayal, regardless of whether it was you who betrayed or your partner. Either way, you should forgive yourself and your partner and eliminate the blame so that you can work on the real causes behind the betrayal.
- In the case of an extramarital relationship, marriage counseling can help both partners to recover after the end of the affair. Those who are not married can participate in couple counseling with the same goal.
