Existential crises can occur suddenly or depend on strong anguish. If you start wondering about the meaning of life and the direction in which you are going, you are most likely going through one of these crises. To deal with the resulting malaise, you need to remind yourself of everything you have achieved so far and resist the desire to isolate yourself by trying to connect with others instead.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Evaluating the Crisis
Step 1. Identify triggers by analyzing your most recent behaviors and thoughts
It is very likely that a particular moment or event caused you to question your life. For some people it could be a business meeting that doesn't offer the desired results or, for a single person, a dinner with some couple that awakens in you the desire to have a serious relationship.
- Knowing the triggers, you have the ability to plan or avoid situations that risk sending you into crisis. For example, you could organize a group meeting instead of a dinner where you feel like a spare tire.
- Triggers can include the hardest and most significant events in life, such as the death of a loved one, loss of job, or divorce.
Step 2. Recognize the times when you can ignore the crisis
You could suffer from various existential crises and take advantage of them or, at the very least, go through them without upsetting your mood for a long time. See if in times of crisis you can spot a pattern and understand what happens if you ignore it and move on.
If you are assailed by negative thoughts, you should take some measures. Consulting a psychotherapist could be a good start
Step 3. Make a mental list of people who love you
Sit down and think about all the people you have had contact with in your life. Identify what you consider to be friends and family. Within this category, isolate the ones who truly love you. Repeat this exercise often and you will see how extensive your support network is.
Don't determine categories based on the number of people they contain. Rather, think about the nature of the feelings they arouse in you
Step 4. Imagine one of your idols giving you advice
Think of someone you admire, even if you've never met them, then imagine telling them how you feel and listening to their response. It's a great way to give yourself some advice, but in a more detached way.
For example, you could express your concerns to Piero Angela and guess what he would suggest you do
Step 5. Dig deep beyond the surface of the problem
To do this, it can be helpful to talk to another person. You may be disheartened by something unexpected, but it could be a much bigger problem. Keep asking yourself, "What else is bothering me?"
For example, if you have children, you may just be frustrated by the idea of the pile of clothes and laundry to be washed, but also by the inability to always be with your friends as it was before you became a parent
Part 2 of 3: Shifting Attention From Malaise
Step 1. Make an effort to go out and spend your time with other people
When you go through a crisis, the last thing you want to do is socialize. However, that's exactly what you need. Start gradually, perhaps by going to a movie, until you broaden your social horizons.
- By hanging out with other people, you can keep busy and fight loneliness.
- Avoid making comparisons when dating someone. You may feel worse.
Step 2. Use the crisis to understand which aspect of your life you want to improve
An existential crisis can indicate dissatisfaction or frustration in certain areas of life. Try to trace the cause of your breakdown and see if you can find a way to improve from that point of view.
- For example, if you feel stuck in a job with no prospects, you probably need to look for a new one. Set goals that you can handle, such as learning a new skill or applying to a number of companies each week.
- If you don't know what to do, consider talking to a friend or mental health professional.
Step 3. Focus on others, not yourself
When you go through an existential crisis, you feel like you are alone with your problems. To stop seeing the situation in these terms, go out and pay attention to people. See if you can pinpoint their problems and figure out how to help them.
- By helping others, as well as reducing your problems, you will feel happier.
- For example, if you see someone in the grocery store having difficulty picking up some products and accidentally drop them on the floor, you could quickly approach them and help them pick them up.
Step 4. Stop making comparisons
It is a path that will only fuel crises and negativity, because you will always have the impression that someone else is better than you. If you're jealous of a celebrity or colleague, start fighting this attitude, then think about everything you actually have in common with that person.
For example, instead of envying a colleague who goes on a ski holiday, try to think that he loves the outdoors as much as you do
Step 5. Clean the house and surrounding areas
Chaos and dirt can encourage negative feelings, such as anger: take control of the space you live in by tidying up, vacuuming, mopping and cleaning. You could also buy some new furniture.
Ask other people if they can help you rearrange your home. This way you can also fight the sense of loneliness
Part 3 of 3: Seeking Outside Help
Step 1. Talk to a friend or family member
Talk to a person who deserves your trust and doesn't go and tell others your confidences. Meet her in a quiet place, where no one disturbs you, and tell her how you feel in as much detail as possible. Remind her that you are not looking for advice, but only for someone who can listen to you.
For example, you might say, "I've been feeling frustrated when I go to work for nearly six months."
Step 2. Consult a therapist
Sometimes, when the existential crisis is severe, anxiety and depression can take over. If you have this concern, contact your primary care physician for advice from a mental health professional. Many therapists offer a free first visit or have reduced rates to accommodate their patients.
This is especially useful if you believe you have no one to confide in what you think
Step 3. Attend a support group
Your therapist may also recommend a support group to help you manage anything that appears to be triggering a crisis. Meetings can be weekly or monthly. Almost always a central and accessible location is chosen, such as a social promotion association.
For example, if your crisis seems to be due to the loss of a loved one, you may want to contact a support group to help you grieve
Step 4. Call a helpline or emergency services if you have thoughts of harming yourself
If your seizure is severe enough to make you feel desperate or if you are even thinking about harming yourself, don't hesitate to call a suicide prevention helpline. It will give you the opportunity to express your mood to a trained professional. Alternatively, you can contact the emergency services directly to receive help.
In Italy you can call Telefono Amico at 199 284 284
Advice
- By taking care of your body you can improve your mood during the most critical moments. Make sure you drink plenty of water and eat healthily.
- Sometimes, you can get over a crisis by watching a funny movie or attending a cabaret show. Laughter often releases tension.
