How to Stop Loving Your Ex: 9 Steps

2024 Author: Samantha Chapman | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 09:13

Forgetting someone you love is by no means easy. The pain of separation can last from a couple of days to several years in some cases. While time heals most wounds, it also takes an effort on your part to process the separation faster. If you're ready to forget about your ex and start living your life again, this article will point you in the right direction.

Steps

Method 1 of 2: Forget Your Ex

Step 1. Cut all ties with this person - at least for now

Some couples are lucky enough to stay on good terms even after the relationship ends. But if you are still in love with him, then you are definitely not ready to have a friendship, at least for now. Although not communicating with him or not meeting him may seem impossible, it would be even more painful to fake a friendship, when what you really want is to get back together.

• Resist the temptation to try to win him back by continuing to talk to him and spend time with him. The best thing you can do is keep it away.

  

• If you go to the same school, live in the same city or share the same group of friends, it may be difficult to avoid meeting him. If this happens to you, be courteous and say hello, but try not to go any further.

  

Step 2. Don't ignore your feelings

It's perfect to decide it's time to forget about your ex, but the worst thing you can do, especially in the early days, is to ignore your feelings. It is absolutely normal and acceptable for you to feel frustrated, scared, confused, hurt, jealous, or insecure after losing the person you love. Instead of trying to suppress your emotions, acknowledge that they are there and that feeling low is a natural process of life. Accepting your emotions can help you examine them more clearly and quickly.

• If you feel the need to cry, cry. If you want to scream, scream. Do whatever it takes to vent your emotions, even if it feels like you're being overly theatrical or emotional. If you stifle your emotions, they will resurface and haunt you in the future.

  

Step 3. Try not to be obsessed with its qualities

When we love someone, we tend to idealize them and focus only on the positive aspects of their character. When we recall the past, we only bring back the good memories and positive feelings they aroused in us. There is nothing wrong with remembering your ex with passion, but if you want to stop loving him you will have to dig into your memory and try to identify some unpleasant aspects of his character or of your relationship.

• You obviously broke up for some reason and that means your relationship was lacking. Even if you can't think of a negative about your ex, the simple fact that your relationship is over should be enough. Regardless of how extraordinary it may be, the simple fact that he no longer wants to be with you means that you are not made for each other.

  

Step 4. Try to let off steam

You could talk to a close friend or relative, write a diary or express yourself through art, but find a way to give free rein to your feelings. Talking to someone who has gone through an experience similar to yours can help you see the situation from a different perspective and remind you that you are not alone.

• Feeling free to let off steam with your friends is fine, but learn to recognize your limitations. Talking about the end of a relationship helps you to a certain extent; after a while it will fuel your obsession and lead you to think too much about the situation (not to say that your friends will probably end up getting bored).

  

Step 5. Stop looking for answers

Many people waste hours and hours trying to find out the mistakes they have made - they often feel guilty for pushing their partner away, feeling a sense of inadequacy and rejection. In reality, sometimes there is no specific reason why you broke up, other than the fact that you and your ex simply weren't made for each other.

Step 6. Don't have sex with your ex

A night of wild sex will make everything more difficult. Resist the temptation (uncontrollable as it may be) to sleep with him, remembering that while he may be beautiful, you will feel even worse afterward.

Method 2 of 2: Move on

Step 1. Make small positive changes in your life

Trying to forget someone can seem somewhat counterintuitive, because the more you try not to think about them, the harder it is to get them out of your mind. Changing your lifestyle, albeit to a limited extent, can work wonders in healing your wounds and making you forget the person who broke your heart.

• Now that you are single, it is time to focus on yourself and think about the aspects of your life that you would like to improve. Are you satisfied with your career or your academic performance? Do you like your physical appearance? And what do you think of your lifestyle?

  

• The aim is to improve your lifestyle so that it is better than in the past. While it may seem difficult, it is possible. You will need to do a self-examination to find out where to focus your efforts.

  

• You don't have to make radical changes. Even minor efforts, like repainting your room, can help improve your mood in the long run.

  

Step 2. Try to appreciate the benefits of being single

Everyone wants to have someone close to them to love and to be loved by. Have faith, and eventually you will find your soul mate who will make you happy, but until then, enjoy the freedom of the single life.

• Spend your time engaging in activities your ex didn't like to do. Plan outings with your friends and remember to approach every situation with a positive attitude; don't preclude yourself from meeting new people, visiting other places and creating other memories.

  

Step 3. Give yourself time to lick your wounds

Remember that there is nothing wrong with this and that sometimes the best medicine is time.

• Regardless of how bad you are, try to take comfort in the fact that it will get better and better. Eventually you will feel good again, and if you just make an effort, you will be better than you could have imagined.

  

Advice

• Don't be impatient to find another boyfriend. It is not a problem to stay single for a while, regardless of age, gender, or what your family and friends tell you.
• It may be tempting to check in on your ex from time to time to see what he's been up to since you broke up. But if you are still in love with him, keeping an eye on him will increase your suffering. Focus on your life and your happiness.