Texting your girlfriend can be a little nervous, especially if you're just starting dating. Don't worry, though - you can adopt many different tricks to make your written conversations more fun and interesting!
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Start a Conversation
Step 1. Start with something specific
To start a conversation with a girl over text, don't write "Hey", "How's it going?" or the face that sends the docks. It is important to find something that is interesting or that requires a complex answer, otherwise you will both be bored after a short time. Always open with a comment, question or observation.
- "Are ferries leaving for Sardinia from the port? I'm dying of boredom at home and I'm tempted by the idea of escaping somewhere. What do you think?"
- "Then they say I'm not creative. I just found a way to make a sandwich with chips and rice. My day couldn't be better. Were you able to do better?"
- "My coach keeps telling me I need to train more in the rings and I can't help thinking about Frodo. YOU CAN'T PASS. So I was thinking, Lord of the Rings marathon tonight? What do you think?"
Step 2. Start with a current topic
What are you doing right now? If you want an answer that starts a real conversation, it's better to talk about something relevant right now, rather than topics you could talk about at any other time. "Hey how you doing?" does not matter.
- "My math homework is killing me. I don't know if I'll be able to finish it. Where are you at? Will you help me with exercise five?"
- "I'm finished training. I have a bad feeling that my mom forgot to pick me up. From today I'm moving to the parking lot"
- "Quick, put Teleregione. They are interviewing our Italian teacher and she looks really ridiculous"
Step 3. Write something sweet
When texting your girlfriend, try to be a little flirtatious. You don't have to go overboard, but it's always helpful to connect what you see with your feelings for your partner.
- "I'm walking in the park and it occurred to me when we kissed on the swings. I miss you."
- "I just saw a couple of ducks scampering around. THEY ARE NOT CUTE LIKE US:)"
- "Saturday I'm free and I can spend all day with you. What do we do?"
Step 4. Ask open-ended questions
They are great ways to start a conversation via text. Instead, avoid questions that can be answered with a single word, especially "Yes" or "No". Try to encourage her to talk to you by asking her more complex questions that force her to think and give you the opportunity to explore the subject.
- Don't ask "What are you doing ?, but" What do you think?"
- Don't ask "Did you enjoy training?" or "How was school?". Try "What do you think about today's test?" or "What was the hardest part of training?"
- Don't ask "Do you like Mexican food?" But "What do you think of Mexican food?"
- Don't poke your nose or ask inappropriate questions.
Step 5. Send a link or image
Sometimes you don't need words to start a conversation. If you see a funny picture, send it to your girlfriend with an ironic caption, or ask her for a comment to start the dialogue.
- If you see something weird, like a pigeon with a McDonalds bag on its head, take a picture and send it with the phrase "I'm not sure what I'm looking at, but it sure looks great. Is it weird that I'm jealous of him?"
- If you've just read something funny, like a page with funny dog pictures or a satirical article, text your girlfriend and tell her what you found funny. Then ask her for a comment when she has finished reading.
- Beware of photo swapping. Never send naked pictures of yourself to a girl who hasn't specifically asked for them. No content prohibited to minors.
Part 2 of 3: Know What To Say
Step 1. Give her something to respond to
Conversations are like plants, you have to water them or they wither and die. When you talk to a girl you have to offer her ideas to respond or the dialogue will end. When you respond to something she says, avoid platitudes, monosyllables and you will be able to carry the conversation forward.
- If he asks "How are you doing?", Don't answer "Nothing" or "I'm relaxing". Be specific and tell the funniest details: "I'm helping my dad rummage around for spare parts in the garage ten years from now. We're the neighborhood Indiana Jones automakers. You?"
- If he says something funny, you can write a quick laugh if you have to, but it's best to respond to what he said. If he sends you a hilarious photo of a bulldog on a water slide, laugh and say "Is that your mood?", "That dog is my animal alter ego" or "I've never loved you so much."
Step 2. Respond to the things he says
Even if he doesn't ask you a direct question or if he doesn't say something particularly interesting, try to answer specifically to spice up the conversation. Keep putting her at ease and writing. Make her talk about herself and "listen" when you message each other.
- If he says to you, "I was bored to death at school today," continue on that topic, answering "What was the most boring part?" or "But what was the most EXCITING thing that happened on this boring day?". Get her to talk to questions.
- If he's very on his own, just respond with a laugh or something like that and end the conversation rather than doing all the work yourself. She may be distracted or unwilling to talk. Don't get angry and resume the conversation later.
Step 3. Make fun of her for flirting
Studies have shown that we are attracted to light teasing, because they create a kind of electricity in the conversation. To increase the tension in your messages a little, tasteful jokes can make the dialogue more exciting.
If you post a series of selfies on Facebook, write them: "I'm scrolling through all your selfies. I try to guess what you thought in each one. In the first one you think this mirror is VERY DIRTY."
Step 4. Maintain a light tone
Messages are great for short, witty, and undemanding conversations, not for in-depth discussions about the status of a relationship. If you don't know what to talk about, keep joking around and focus on the silly and funny topics. Try one of the following:
- Funny thing you've seen or read on the internet.
- Stupid things you've heard someone say.
- Funny things that happened to you.
- Your siblings, your pets or your relatives.
- Fun plans for the future or the last time you met.
Part 3 of 3: Write the Messages Well
Step 1. Make sure it's the right time to write
You may want to talk, but your girlfriend may be in class, busy with family, or at work in the library. You wouldn't bother someone busy in person, so avoid texting her when you know she's busy.
Don't write late at night, when you're busy or when your girlfriend may be driving. If she's the one writing to you, don't answer or tell her you'll do it when you have time
Step 2. Don't use abbreviations
You don't have to write prose on a test, but it's still important to stick to the spelling (almost always) so your girlfriend can read your messages. Take the time to write whole sentences when you can, making sure every message is meaningful so that she doesn't have to read 50 to understand what you're saying.
While you may not care, some people don't like people who use too many abbreviations, like "xké" or "nn"
Step 3. Wait for an answer before writing again
The wait can be nerve-wracking, but it's important to give your girlfriend a chance to respond before bombarding her with more messages. If you do, you may seem aggressive and impatient. Do not assume that she always has her phone at hand and that she is ready to write to you.
- Don't write too much. Maintain a ratio of about 1 to 1. Reserve something for in-person meetings.
- If he doesn't reply to your messages or his replies aren't interesting, stop writing. Never text when you are angry and don't let off steam.
Step 4. Reply to his messages when you receive them
When your girlfriend texts you something or asks you a question, respond when you know what to say. There is no need to "be difficult" when writing to each other. Speak up as soon as you notice her message and try to make conversation.
If she asks you a question and you don't know what to answer, write something down anyway. If he says "Shall we have dinner together on Friday?", Reply with "Great idea! But maybe I could have an engagement. I'll let you know later." Don't keep her waiting unnecessarily
Step 5. Use emojis from time to time to clarify your intentions
In some cases, the meaning of a written sentence can be difficult to interpret and your messages can feel too aggressive or harsh. Almost all phones have a lot of emojis that you can use to enrich your messages and make them easier to read.
- "What are you doing?" or "Where are you?" they can make you seem too insecure via text. On the contrary, "Have you left already?:)" is much friendlier.
- Emojis can be fun, but don't use them for all occasions. Answering your girlfriend's question about what are you doing with devil and poo faces is odd in the negative.
Step 6. End the conversation on a positive note
All dialogue comes to a natural end. While you can share a moment of silence in person without feeling embarrassed, the conversation must end by text. Extending a discussion that becomes uninteresting can be uncomfortable, so it's a good idea to end a positive message firsthand.
If you made her laugh, tell her that you have to go and that you will talk to each other later: "I have to go to dinner. See you later?" Make yourself want a little
Advice
- Of course, always be nice to her.
- Compliment her, but make sure it's the right time. Girls generally enjoy compliments because it makes them feel more confident.
Warnings
- Don't talk about other girls. You would make your partner feel unimportant!
- Don't say anything that could lead to a fight.
- Try not to talk about other people. He probably prefers to focus on your relationship.
