A good grandmother knows how to make her grandchildren feel special. It has a different role from that of parents and without overcoming its limits and interfering in the education of children, it is able to teach them many things about the world. The trick to being a good grandmother is to be able to build a special, fun, loving relationship with warmth, love and dedication.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Part 1: Spending Time with Your Grandchildren
Step 1. Prepare games
Knowing in advance what to do when grandchildren arrive can be of great help. If you plan to spend the day outdoors, for example, you can ask the baby's parents to dress him a certain way. It is also advisable to check in advance the opening hours of certain establishments you intend to visit and public transport. If you make a plan for the day, make sure you also have time to rest and rest your grandson too.
Do things your grandchildren don't normally do with their parents. Take them to areas of the city they have never seen or teach them to do something new like painting or making jewelry for example. This will make the time you spend together special and unforgettable
Step 2. Don't make plans
Occasionally give your grandchildren a chance to observe what you do around the house and they will learn new things that way. They will likely ask you if you need help or ask you some interesting questions about what you are doing. These moments are precious and essential for creating a solid bond with grandchildren. Get help with cooking, walking the dog, gardening or watching your favorite TV show together.
- Your grandchildren will learn essential things to be independent when they grow up! However, don't get too stressed out trying to create special days; it will all happen naturally.
- As has already been mentioned, it is always better to have alternative activities in case the children want to do something different, like watching movies or making a cake.
Step 3. Teach your grandchildren some interesting things about the world
Tell your experiences and stories about what you have done and seen. Don't be afraid to share your past with them. Many things may seem strange to them, but when they grow up they will somehow understand them and have clearer ideas about life and humanity in general. When it comes to the past, you are the best source of information for them and with your stories, you will help them grow.
- Share your life and experiences and explain how important and influential they have been to your personality. Explain the differences from today's world and what you grew up in, what work you did (or do) and what they will need to live well and be successful.
- Share real life lessons, talk about happy marriages and general housekeeping. Remember, however, that if you give all this information at once, your grandchildren may not listen to you. Tell little stories and little by little your grandchildren will remember everything you teach and tell them.
- Ask questions about your life and past. Get them to talk too.
Step 4. Tell your family story
Even if you think your grandchildren are not interested in your family history, tell them anyway and explain how important it is to know your origins. Have them sit down, take out the family photo album and show them. Tell funny stories and remember moments spent with your relatives.
- If you like, you can draw a family tree and explain it to your grandchildren. They will appreciate it for life.
- It may be that young children do not have patience or are not yet interested in learning about their family history. You can still try to tell little stories every day so they will learn them in a more interesting and fun way.
Step 5. Have your grandchildren teach you something
the quality of the relationship you are building also depends on them. Times are changing and one thing you can do to make your grandchildren feel special is to be taught things: new genres of music, Facebook, Twitter etc… Ask what today's children and teenagers are talking about. Show that you are very interested in their world and you will see that they will be happy to open up and share their experiences with you.
- People love to teach, and your grandchildren will love spending time with you if they know they are going to teach you and tell you something special.
- Remember to thank them every time they teach you something and you appreciate their help.
Step 6. Try to always be there in important moments
Always be present in important moments such as birthdays, first days of school, plays, sporting events, etc. If you live far away, this will not be possible, but try to work hard to be present as much as possible.
Your grandchildren will come to you for comfort and love and not for criticism. Please them, even if you don't approve of some of their choices
Step 7. Don't forget to create spaces just for yourself
You must remember this even before your grandson is born. You don't have to spend the rest of your life babysitting and you need to make that clear before your grandchildren are born. Talk to your children and inform them about your limitations, that you enjoy spending time with your grandchildren but you decide how and when. This way you'll enjoy their company better and won't always be tired and broken!
- Don't think that you are an always available babysitter. Talk to your children about the time you have available to help.
- If you don't feel obligated to be with them, your bond will be much stronger.
Method 2 of 3: Part 2: Taking Care of Your Grandchildren
Step 1. Don't spoil your grandchildren
For example, you could indirectly explain that waste and consumerism are not good things and they should agree, right? Teach good values like gratitude, respect and patience, but don't overdo it. Do it anyway with praise. Point out to your grandchildren when they do something good and try to point out when they do something wrong too, but without making them feel pressured. Children feel freer with you than when they are with their parents and it is also the parents' job to scold and educate them. Whenever you see them, hug them and tell them how much you love them and that they are safe with you.
- Even if they sometimes misbehave and you criticize them, you should always try to be a source of joy and positivity. Children already live with parents who educate them and teach them the differences between right and wrong. It is always better not to interfere and not to go against their ideas.
- Of course, you shouldn't allow your grandson to follow completely different rules when you are with him or he may get confused as to what is right or wrong. However, give more importance to the positive aspects of their behaviors and make them feel special.
Step 2. Always remember birthdays
Buy gifts that can be useful, but don't go overboard. Every now and then just give them what they ask for or, when they don't expect it, wrap some little treats in wrapping paper and give them to them. But the most important thing is that you are present on this important day and to further express your love, along with the gift, prepare a postcard with written that they are important and special to you.
Before buying gifts, talk to parents. They may have already bought the same thing or something similar and it could ruin the birthday
Step 3. Be loving
Another way to show your love to your grandchildren is affection. Hug them, kiss them, play with their hair to let them know how important they are to you. When they are seated next to you, give them packets on their lap or hands or move even closer to make your love feel. When they grow up they may no longer accept these gestures but they will remember your affection and love.
Try to be a source of love and warmth for your grandchildren so they know where to turn in times of need
Step 4. Listen to them
Take some time to hear what they have to say and listen to every single word they say without interrupting. Don't get distracted and don't do anything else when they talk to you (don't cook or garden). Look them in the eye and let them know that what they say is very important to you and if they ask, give them advice. The most important thing is that you don't judge them and listen to their speeches and opinions seriously.
- Sometimes your grandchildren tell you things they don't tell their parents. Help them as much as possible and encourage them to find ways to open up and confide in their parents.
- When they talk to you, show affection. Hug them or put a hand on their knee to reassure them.
Step 5. Spoil them a little
As you are a mother too, you know what it means to raise a child. Now you can relax and have fun with your grandchildren. Even if you set rules (especially when you spend a lot of time with them), make surprises, bake sweets and make your grandchildren feel special. They will look for you because they will want your love and they will know that they can be free without being forced to abide by strict rules.
Be careful not to spoil them in a way that might annoy the parents. Make them and your grandchildren happy
Method 3 of 3: Part 3: Respect the Parents of Your Grandchildren
Step 1. Don't give advice unless asked
Even if you have successfully raised 15 children and think you know everything about how a parent should behave, you should only try to speak up when asked. Your child may have different ideas than yours and may not be interested in what you think. Yes, you can refer to your own experience, but you don't have to give lessons on how to change diapers or how to make babies responsible.
If you give too much advice to the child's parents, they could drift away from you and make the relationship between you and your grandchild complicated and strained
Step 2. Accept the role of grandmother in your grandson's life
To be a good grandmother, you have to accept that you can't act like a parent. Your role is to spend time with your grandson and give advice and help to parents when needed. You will start enjoying your relationship with your grandson only when you fully understand that you are the grandmother and not the mother.
You shouldn't focus on raising your grandson and you shouldn't be teaching him to behave like an adult. Give more importance to love, moral support and affection
Step 3. Continue living your life
At first you may think that you have to give up everything to give attention to the newcomer, but the best thing to do is to continue living your life while still trying to help the parents of the children as much as possible. Keep hanging out with your friends, pursuing your passions and hobbies. If you give up everything to spend time with your grandson, you will make parents feel pressured.
Find a way to spend time with your grandchildren without changing your plans. There will certainly be exceptions where your help will be needed, but don't make it happen often
Step 4. Help the parents around the house
One really helpful thing you can do when a baby is born in your family is to help with housework. You can do the dishes, shop, cook (occasionally) or run small errands for the parents. However, try to ensure that they do not take advantage of your generosity and remember that even little help will be appreciated.
Your help around the house will be essential as soon as the baby is born as the parents will be very busy with other chores
Step 5. Make sure that the child's parents have time to be alone
Spend time with your grandson so the parents have time to go out for dinner or just relax and have no responsibility. This will help them not get stressed and their relationship will become even more stable and strong.
