It is often difficult to talk to parents because they don't seem to understand you or don't know what to say. Here are some tips that can help you.
Steps
Step 1. Find the right time to talk when your parents aren't doing something like washing dishes, working, talking on the phone, putting the kids to bed, etc
Otherwise, their mind will be elsewhere and they will either get angry or not pay you enough attention.
Step 2. Set up a meeting to talk to your parents
“Dad, I need to talk to you. When you are free? . In this way, parents will be happy because (1) you realize the importance of organizing a meeting to talk about something with them and (2) they will realize that you are mature and that you take the initiative to talk. Parents want you to talk to them, but they're often afraid their kids won't, so they'll be happy with your request.
Step 3. Prepare your strategy
Start by analyzing the topics of the speech. Write them on a piece of paper. Then analyze them one at a time and put yourself in your parents' shoes: what would you do for them? Have you done something that will make him say no? Did you break a rule? Have you lost their trust? So look for a solution on how to regain their trust. For example, if you come in at 11pm when you should have been home at 9pm, your parents will probably put you in detention. Offer them to do something else so they can get out. For example washing dishes, clothes, watching your little brother or giving your mom a massage! You have to find a strategy before the match.
Step 4. Start with a statement
Avoid saying things like "you did this …", etc. The meeting begins with a quiet affirmation, such as "In my opinion it's not fair that I can't go to the party on Saturday". This will explain the problem - stay focused, it is very important!
Step 5. Ask them why
"Can you please tell me why I can't go out?" If you don't understand why then you won't know how to change.
Step 6. Ask them what worries them
“What are you worried about, dad? Please tell me what your problems are. Maybe your parents know something you don't know. You need to have good communication with them so that you understand the reasons for such a thing. Your voice must be confident, not too loud or too excited. Sometimes parents don't understand how important something is to a child.
Step 7. Don't complain or whine
It is hateful to everyone. It won't get you what you want - it will only make the situation worse.
Step 8. Focus on what you want and how you feel, and be honest
"Dad, I'm very sorry that you don't trust me and I want to know what I have to do to earn your trust" is much better than "You never make me do what I want!" Be careful not to overdo it - being too flattering often has a negative effect.
Step 9. Be respectful
Even if they make you angry, they are always your parents. And they will respect you if you respect them.
Step 10. Gain their trust
Understand that you need to earn their trust. Tell him you understand when it is important to trust someone. If you have lost their trust, you need to regain it and move on. Ask them what you can do to regain their trust.
Step 11. Be kind and helpful so they are friendly to you too
Advice
- If you want to be heard, you must also know how to listen. Don't go away at the first problem, but deal with the situation.
- Make a list of reasons that support your opinion. Parents often listen more if they know you've been thinking about something and preparing your speech. Sometimes you will even get their respect this way. Keep communication open.
- Avoid saying things that include the words "never" and "always", as they distract from the central point of the speech.
- Sugar is better than salt. You can't force a parent to give you what you want. Screaming doesn't change people's minds.
- Never give up and don't be afraid.
- Never say "I don't love you anymore" or "I hate you" - you can hurt your parents and hurt them. Avoid saying these things too, because if you do, your parents will ignore you. It's useless!
- Be prepared to take yes and no for an answer. Even if you've explained your reasons and listened to theirs, sometimes parents don't change their minds and you're forced to do something you don't want to do.
Warnings
- Understand that sometimes parents can't understand something.
- Avoid yelling as it will make them angry.
- Avoid whining.
- Always look your parents in the eye. That way they'll know you're serious.
- You need to try to improve your relationship with your parents. Talking about different things can help!
- Get their attention, calling them by name. If they don't listen to you, speak louder and clearer.
