Are there people who always tell you to shut up? Do you often talk without thinking and end up regretting what you said? Do you feel like there is too much noise in your head and you want to know how to turn it off? Well, the good news is that anyone can remain silent, it just takes time and patience. If you want to know how, read on.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Remaining Silent during a Conversation
Step 1. Think before you speak
People who are noisy by nature do not possess this important skill. So, next time you are in a situation where you are dying to say something, pause, take a minute and ask yourself if what you want to say can really help the situation. Do you want to give people the information they need, do you want to make others laugh, or do you want to offer words of comfort or do you want to speak just to be heard? If you think no one can actually benefit from what you have to say, keep it to yourself.
A rule of thumb when starting this practice is to say one in two things you are thinking. As you strive to be quieter, you can say one out of every three, or one out of every four
Step 2. Don't interrupt
You should never interrupt a person while they are talking, unless you feel that what you have to say is crucial to the conversation (but, honestly: when is it?). Not only is this rude, but it interrupts the flow of the conversation and makes you look like a bully. If you really need to make a comment or question, make a note of it and wait for the other person to finish speaking to see if what you want to say is still relevant.
You will be surprised how many of your questions will still get answered by letting the person speak
Step 3. Ask questions instead of talking about yourself
If you're working hard to become quieter, it probably means that you tend to talk a lot about yourself or things that really matter to you, instead of letting other people share their ideas. So, next time you have a conversation and it's your turn to talk, ask questions of others, to learn more about the topic of discussion or to learn more about them, give their hobbies to what they love to do for fun..
It doesn't have to feel like an interrogation or a request for information that makes people uncomfortable. Keep your tone light, gentle and polite
Step 4. Count down from ten before saying something
If you plan on making a comment to make the conversation more jaw-dropping, wait ten seconds. Count backwards from ten to see if the idea suddenly appears less attractive or to give other people time to argue and stop you from saying what you meant. This is also a good technique if you are feeling angry or upset and want to express your grievances. Giving yourself some time to calm down can prevent you from saying something that you may later regret.
When you refine this method, you can also count backwards from five. Even that short amount of time can help you figure out whether to keep quiet or not
Step 5. Listen carefully
If you want to remain silent, you have to commit to being a great listener. When someone is talking to you, keep eye contact, focus on the important things, and try to read between the lines to understand what they mean and how they really feel. Let the person speak, do not lose patience and do not get distracted with text messages or other similar things.
- Ask questions that help the person to explain his ideas more but do not ask for something irrelevant, which could confuse the interlocutor.
- The more you commit to being a good listener, the less you will feel compelled to talk all the time.
Step 6. Stop complaining
You could spend a lot of time talking and complaining about all the things that bothered you that day. You may want to talk about the terrible traffic you had to face that morning, the bad email a friend sent you or the fact that nothing can be done this winter in this cold. But really, where does all this urge to grumble come from? If complaining about the things you can't change really makes you feel better, you can write them down in your journal. No need to complain out loud, right?
If you have a real problem and feel the need to talk about it, that's fine; here we are now talking about the need to grumble just for the sake of complaining
Step 7. Focus on the breath
If you are feeling really anxious and want to start talking for whatever reason, just focus on your breathing. Count how many times the breath enters and leaves the body and breathe even more deeply. Stop fidgeting, listen to what's going on around you, focus on your thoughts and how you feel instead of what you absolutely want to say.
This calming technique will make you realize that talking is not that important
Step 8. Take your time to process what you feel
You may be the type of person who has an immediate reaction to something they hear and who wants to immediately express everything they are thinking or wondering, but this is definitely not the best way to deal with the situation. If you take the time to process everything that is going on and to set up a full question or comment, you will be able to speak less and do or say something much more appropriate.
This will give you time to "proofread" your thought and skim it from details that no one would need
Part 2 of 2: Remain silent for the whole day
Step 1. Find a hobby that requires silence
Practicing staying silent on your own can help you stay silent even when you are with people. One way to do a good silence practice is to find a hobby where you need to be quiet and preferably alone. Try painting, creative writing, yoga, songwriting, philately, bird watching, or anything that involves staying silent and not saying what you are thinking.
- Reading is also ideal to help you keep quiet as you process the words you have in front of you.
- Try to stay at least an hour without saying anything while you are practicing your hobby. Then try for two hours. Then three. Think you can go a whole day without saying a word?
Step 2. Release your energy in other ways
You may talk a lot - some may say too much - because you feel you have a lot of energy and you don't know how to release it. So, find another way to unload everything on your mind so that you can release all that vitality in your head.
Exercising, especially running, can help you get great exercise while getting rid of that extra energy. You can also go for long walks or cook. Find the one that works for you
Step 3. Fight the temptation to chat online
Talking online only fills your life with noise and most of what you say is not even that important. If you really want to talk to your friend, you should do it over the phone or in person, instead of endlessly typing in front of the computer, don't you think? The next time you want to chat to see what your 28th best friend is up to, shut down your computer and go for a walk instead.
Step 4. Take a break from social media
Better yet, take a break from Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and all the other social media you are using too often. These sites are filled with hustle and bustle, with people trying to impress others, and with nonsense words that you may feel compelled to respond to. If you are truly a fanatic, just spend 10-15 minutes a day on all the social media sites, instead of spending your time checking them out on every opportunity you have.
Wouldn't you rather hear what your closest friends have to say personally instead of hearing what complete strangers say to the world? Turn off any extra voices you hear and focus only on the ones that matter
Step 5. Write a diary
Get in the habit of writing in your journal at the end of each day or week. This can help you release those extra thoughts, keep quiet, and feel like you've gotten rid of everything you care about, without needing to tell your fifteen best friends. You can simply write down what happened during the day, which will lead you to ask more questions and write down the deeper things you have in mind.
You will be amazed at how quiet you will be even if you just write a diary page every day
Step 6. Meditate
Meditation is a great way to turn off the mind and keep the body silent. Take 10-20 minutes each morning to find a comfortable seat in a quiet room, close your eyes, and focus on the breath coming in and out of your body. Focus on relaxing your body, one area at a time and observe what you feel, smell, feel and feel how you feel sitting there. Hunt all serious thoughts, focus only on being in the moment and appreciate the silence, you are already on the right path to having a more centered and peaceful day.
Meditation can keep you from feeling overwhelmed, giving you more control over your mind and body
Step 7. Appreciate nature
Take a walk. Go to the beach. Observe all the beautiful plants in the park on the other side of the city. Take a trip to the woods on the weekend. Do something to get closer to nature. You will be enchanted by its beauty and the power of something much more stable than you are and you will feel that all your doubts and words will melt away. It becomes difficult to maintain a chat conversation, or to think about what the next math test will be when you are standing at the base of a beautiful mountain that has existed since the beginning of time.
Make time for nature in your weekly routine. You can also take your diary with you when you are surrounded by nature and write your thoughts from there
Step 8. Turn off the music
Sure, music can make your study, run, or commute to work more fun. However, it can create extra noise which leads to you becoming a little more talkative, hectic, and excitable. Classical music or jazz may be fine, but loud music with catchy lyrics can create confusion that bounces around in your head and prevents you from feeling calm and in control of your day.
Step 9. Give yourself some time
If you are a noisy and talkative person by nature, then you will not be able to become silent overnight. But if you strive to talk a little less every day, pursue hobbies and activities that make you quieter, and if you learn to be a good listener instead of a good interlocutor, you will be able to shut up sooner than you imagine. So relax, have patience, and enjoy the feeling of all the extra din coming out of your head and vocal cords.
