There is a label, developed over many centuries, which establishes how to show respect for the British aristocracy. Currently, no one asks for this kind of courtesy anymore, and as long as you are polite, no noble will be offended by your behavior. However, if you want to avoid feeling embarrassed during a formal event, know that it takes very little to find the correct way to approach other guests.
Steps
Method 1 of 2: Contact the British Royal Family
Step 1. Greet the royals with a little bow or curtsy
This is the most formal greeting, but it is never obligatory even for the Queen's subjects. If you are a man and you choose this type of approach, bend your head slightly forward at the level of the neck. If you are a woman, take a small bow: bring your right foot behind your left, bend your knees slightly, keeping your upper body and neck upright.
- Deep bows are not a mistake, but they are quite rare and difficult to perform gracefully. Reverences of this kind, which involve bending at the waist level, are never performed under such a circumstance.
- Say hello like this when a member of the royal family walks past you or when you are introduced.
Step 2. Consider making a simple nod
Instead of bowing or curtsying, you can do a simple nod (usually men) or a full body bending slightly (women). This is the typical greeting chosen by citizens who are not part of the Commonwealth, because they do not owe loyalty to the English royal house. However, it is also perfectly acceptable to Commonwealth citizens.
Step 3. Shake hands only if the real offers it to you
The royal family website states that handshaking is also an accepted form of greeting, either alone or in combination with the bows described above. However, you should wait for the royal family member to offer their hand first and you should gently squeeze it using only one hand. Do not take the initiative to make physical contact, not even to politely offer the elbow.
If wearing elegant gloves (which are not required anyway), men should take them off before shaking hands, while women are allowed to hold them
Step 4. Let the real figure lead the conversation
Wait for him to talk to you before speaking. Don't change the subject and don't ask any personal questions.
Foreigners should resist the temptation to speak in a "formal" manner, as it may seem like an imitation of the English accent. The queen and her family are used to conversing with thousands of people around the world and don't expect you to talk like them
Step 5. At the first answer, address the person using the noble title in full
For example, if the Queen asks you, "How do you find your stay in the UK?", You should reply: "It is wonderful, Your Majesty." In the presence of all other members of the royal house who are not the queen, your first response should include: "Your Royal Highness".
Step 6. Use the short title for the rest of the conversation
You should address all the women of the royal family, including the queen, with the title "Ma'am" (madam), "eating" the letter "d" and quickly pronouncing the second "a". All the men of the royal house are to be called "Sir".
- If you mention a royal in the third person, always use the full title (eg "The Prince of Wales") or the nickname "His Royal Highness". Referring to someone by name ("Prince Philip") is considered disrespectful.
- Remember that the correct title of the queen is "Her Majesty the Queen". Do not say "Queen of England", as it is only one of the many titles she enjoys and refers only to a specific country.
Step 7. Repeat the same greeting when the royal house member leaves
Repeat the bow, curtsy, or less traditional greeting to politely say goodbye when the meeting comes to an end.
Step 8. Contact the Royal Household if you have any further questions
The Royal House staff will be happy to answer questions regarding the protocol. If you are not sure which title is best to use for a particular member of the royal family or what the expectations are for hosting a specific event, you can ask for more information either by letter or by telephone:
- (+44) (0)20 7930 4832.
-
Public Information Officer
Buckingham Palace
London SW1A 1AA.
Method 2 of 2: Appeal to the British Nobility
Step 1. Address the dukes and duchesses by their title
These figures hold the highest rank of the parìa and you must speak using the title "Duke" or "Duchess". After the initial greetings, you can continue the conversation in the same way or by using the nickname "Your Grace".
- As with any noble title, you do not need to add the location ("Duke of Mayfair"), unless strictly necessary to avoid confusion.
- If you are introducing the noble in a formal way, say "His Grace the Duke / Duchess" followed by the rest of the title.
Step 2. All lower-ranking nobles can be addressed with the nickname "Lady" and "Lord"
During a conversation or an oral presentation, always avoid using the other noble titles, in addition to Duke and Duchess. Limit yourself to "Lady" and "Lord" followed by the last name. The titles listed below are used only for formal and legal correspondence:
- Marquise and Marquis;
- Countess and Count;
- Viscountess and Viscount;
- Baroness and Baron.
Step 3. Address a noble child with the courtesy title
This case is slightly more complicated, so the context must be taken into account. Here are some examples:
- Address the son of a duke, then a marquis, with "Lord" followed by the first name;
- In front of the daughter of a duke, therefore a marquise, he uses the appellative "Lady" followed by the first name.
- If you have to meet the heir of a noble (usually the eldest son), consider the paternal title. Typically, the child uses a secondary title from the father, usually of lower rank.
- In all other cases, a child does not enjoy a special title; the abbreviation "The Hon." (the Honorable) only in writing.
Step 4. Talk to the barons and knights
Use this guide when having a conversation with someone who enjoys these non-noble honors:
- Baronet or Knight: use the title "Sir" followed by the first name;
- Baroness and Dama: "Dama" followed by the first name;
- Wife of a baronet or knight: "Lady" followed by the first name;
- Husband of a baroness or a lady: no special title.
Advice
- The preferences expressed by a person regarding how they want to be addressed override the general rules.
- If you're giving a speech for the queen, start with the phrase "May it please Your Majesty" and end with "Ladies and Gentlemen, I ask you to rise and join me in a toast: The Queen ! " ("Ladies and gentlemen, I ask you to stand up and join me to pay homage to the Queen!").
- The queen occasionally grants the title of Knight to people who are not subjects; however, this honor does not entitle you to a title. In other words, address an English Knight with the title "Sir", but use the nickname "Signor" for an Italian Knight.
- You should not generally give the title of a noble in full during a presentation.
- The wife of a peer is presented as "Lady Trowbridge" (not "Lady Honoria Towbridge", which in this case implies other noble titles related to the family of origin).
- In particular, when it comes to higher titles, the person's surname is often different from the title ("Duca di _" or "Duca _"). Don't use your surname.
- Great-grandchildren belonging to the monarch's male lineage are not considered princes or princesses. You can kindly use the title "Lord" or "Lady" with these figures. For example, you can refer to the person as "Lady Jane" and present them as "Lady Jane Windsor" (unless she has a different title).
Warnings
- This article specifically describes how to behave with peers and royalty in England. The aristocracy of other countries may have a different etiquette and (unlike the British) you may be punished for making a mistake in the code of conduct.
- If you are caught off guard, it is probably better to admit your ignorance than to "improvise". If possible, ask the master of ceremony or another person of lower rank or without a noble title what to do.
