Knowing that someone is thinking of taking their own life is hard to digest. In such a situation, one feels helpless or unable to prevent the intention to commit suicide from being materialized. However, if you recognize the risk factors and red flags, take measures, and be there, you can prevent this extreme action.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Recognizing the Risk Factors and Warning Bells
Step 1. Pay attention to risk factors
Some experiences can increase the chances of suicide. If you know what to look for, it will be easier to prevent this from happening. Pay attention to the sources of stress in this person's life and consider whether they could pose a threat.
- Determine if he has attempted to take his own life in the past. You can try asking him directly: "Have you ever thought about suicide?".
- Determine if anyone you know has recently died, especially if they took their own life. The death of a loved one can prompt you to consider suicide.
- Determine if there have been any cases of suicide in your family. You may need to ask them directly or speak to a relative.
- Assess whether this person is or has been a victim of violence, bullying, humiliation or abuse. These experiences may lead one to consider suicide.
- Consider whether he has suffered a loss, such as a dismissal, divorce, or romantic breakup, or consider whether his reputation has been severely damaged.
- See if you have a serious illness that involves chronic pain or exhaustion that has no solution. Suicide is sometimes seen as a way to end suffering.
Step 2. Examine the verbal warning signs
Often a person considering suicide verbally expresses their intentions. If you know which phrases to pay attention to, you will be able to understand if she is suicidal and help her before she makes an extreme gesture.
- Pay attention to phrases that suggest that you are a burden to others, such as "Everyone would live better without me" or "They won't have to put up with me anymore."
- Does this person think that no one cares or understands you? Pay attention to phrases like "Nobody cares what happens to me", "Nobody understands me" or "You don't understand!".
- Be careful if you think life is meaningless. In this case, he might say phrases like "I don't have a reason to live" or "I'm tired of life".
- Examine if he makes desperate statements like "It's too late now, I can't go on", "There's nothing more to be done", "What's the use?" or "I want to stop suffering".
Step 3. Examine his emotions
You can help prevent suicide by paying attention to the person's moods and behaviors. An individual contemplating suicide may exhibit some red flags.
- If he doesn't express his emotions, ask him questions, for example: "How would you describe your moods? How do you feel?".
- Did he say he felt a sense of failure, despair, or guilt?
- Do you seem depressed, anxious or overwhelmed by events? See if he cries often or is shaken all the time.
- See if he is moody or irritable. Does he get angry for reasons that didn't bother him before?
- Some may seem even calmer and happier than they have recently been. He may be feeling relieved because he is thinking of a way to end the pain and suffering.
Step 4. Watch for any behavioral changes
Suicidal people can behave alarmingly. Paying attention to it can help prevent suicide.
- Be especially careful if he talks, reads or writes about death / suicide.
- See if he seems to have lost interest in things he used to like. Has he stopped pursuing activities that once thrilled him?
- Giving away things (especially of value) for no apparent reason can be a wake-up call.
- Other red flags: buy weapons or pills, visit places like bridges, overpasses or roofs.
Method 2 of 3: Stop a Person from Suicidal Tendencies
Step 1. Consider his intentions
Evaluate his degree of seriousness. Find all the information you need to help you take steps to prevent suicide.
- Ask her, "Are you thinking of taking your own life? When? In the next few hours, days or weeks?"
- Try to figure out if she has a plan and the means to implement it by asking her, "Do you have a plan in mind to do this? Do you already have a weapon?".
- Keep in mind that they may not truthfully reveal their intentions to you. So consider the red flags, risk factors, and what it tells you.
Step 2. Remember the acronym CLUES, which in English stands for Connect ("tune in"), Listen ("to listen"), Understand ("understand"), ANDxpress concern ("express your concerns") e Seek help ("ask for help").
This will help you remember what to do to prevent suicide or help a person in need.
Step 3. Connect with this person
For a suicidal individual, one of the worst things is feeling that no one understands him or that no one cares what happens to him. The secret is to help him stop feeling invisible. Dialogue favors the establishment of a bond and will make him understand that you care.
- Show him clearly that you listen to him and understand that his pain is real.
- Telling him phrases like "It's not that bad" or "Things will get better" won't help and may make him feel like he's not being understood and listened to.
- Instead, say phrases like "You're not alone. I'm here to listen to you and help you" or "Maybe I don't understand exactly how you feel, but I know for a fact that I want to help you."
Step 4. Listen to it
If he is shaken, admits he is considering suicide and / or has many red flags, don't leave him alone. Keep him company, talk to him and listen to him.
- You don't have to talk much, sometimes you don't have to say anything. Just be there and listen to him to prevent him from taking his own life.
- If you can't stay with him, call someone you both trust. Don't leave it alone until it arrives.
- Get rid of all distractions (like TVs and computers) so you can focus on this person, but keep your phone handy in case you need help.
Step 5. Try to understand how he feels
As much as you've never considered suicide, try to be empathetic.
- Don't tell him how he should feel or what he should do. Just tell him you want to help him and understand how he feels.
- Rephrase his words to show him you understand how he feels.
- For example, if he says, "I've tried everything, I don't know what else to do," you can say, "I understand. It must have been terrible to try so many things and find no relief."
Step 6. Express your concerns
Tell him that you are worried and that you want to help him. To prevent him from taking his own life, it may be enough to show him that you care, that it is important for you to know how he is feeling, what he is going through and what is going on in his life.
- When you talk to this person and express your concerns, be yourself and honest.
- Try saying, "I don't know how to solve your problems, but I know the consequences they might have worry me. I don't want you to die."
Step 7. Get help
Its safety is the number one priority and you may not be able to take care of it yourself. Talking to a professional can help you manage the situation better - and perhaps even take the first step to resolving it, especially if the person concerned is not willing to seek help on their own.
- If you think he is serious about killing himself, call a switchboard such as Telefono Amico (199 284 284).
- Contact an emergency counselor, religious leader, psychotherapist, doctor, psychologist, or other professional who has the right training to prevent suicide. Tell him: "I am with a person who intends to commit suicide."
- The person who wants to take their own life may get angry, but you are doing the right thing.
- Explain that you are just trying to help her, which is why you got in touch with a professional.
- You might say to her, "I'm not trying to get you upset. I just want to help you, and that's the best way I can do it."
Method 3 of 3: Lay it down over time
Step 1. Inform a person close to you
Many times a suicidal individual will ask you not to tell anyone. You don't have to tag his friends in a Facebook post, but you should warn someone close to him; in this way he will have a support network that will take care of him and try to prevent him from taking his own life. The stress of this situation doesn't just have to fall on your shoulders.
- If you are a minor, tell an adult you trust. Express yourself like this: "I don't want to make you angry, but we need help. I'll call…".
- You may want to reassure him that you will keep yourself vague, that way you will both be reassured.
- Example: "I'm not going to talk about suicide. I'll just say we have a problem and we need help."
- If they are being mistreated or abused, you should not tell the abuser. Instead, talk to a teacher, coach, or supervisor.
Step 2. Make a plan in advance
As a preventative measure, develop a plan to deal with suicide attempts or red flags raised by the person intending to take their own life. This way, all members of the support network will know what to do.
- You can download a suicide prevention plan on this site. The model is in English, but easily understood and adaptable to Italian.
- List the names of people who will help the suicidal individual, important telephone numbers, and so on.
- When preparing the plan, include the person concerned and, if possible, get help from a professional.
Step 3. Check frequently how it is
Don't stop being interested once the crisis is over. Regular checks allow you to recognize any red flags or new risk factors. The person in question will also understand that you always care about her and want to know how she is.
- Make sure that other members of the support network continue to be close to her as well.
- Controls don't have to be serious and rigorous. You can see her for ice cream or a chat about how her week is progressing.
- You don't need to ask her if she's thinking about suicide every time you meet, but watch for any red flags.
Step 4. Encourage her to have a healthy lifestyle:
this is also helpful in preventing suicide. Encourage her to eat well, get enough sleep, exercise, and socialize.
- Help her develop an evening routine to make sure she gets enough sleep.
- Suggest activities that you can share, such as hiking, team sports or swimming - this will help keep her moving.
- Give her a journal to let out her feelings rather than keep them to herself.
Step 5. Take care of yourself
Trying to prevent suicide can be exhausting in every respect: physical, emotional and mental. Make sure you do whatever it takes to take care of yourself, just like you are doing for your suicidal friend or relative.
- Sleep well and eat healthy.
- Spend time with friends and family, doing what you love. Go to the movies, go for a bike ride or a picnic.
- Start meditating or using other effective techniques to combat stress and cope with the situation. Breathing deeply can also help you stay calm in the face of such a challenge.
Step 6. Learn to recognize emotional abuse
If a person threatens to commit suicide to get what they want (believe them or not), it is emotional abuse. You are not responsible for the choices of others and you should not feel obligated to do something that does not suit you just because someone threatens to commit suicide.
- If you know someone who threatens to commit suicide when you don't do what they want, you should tell someone you trust.
- For example, if your girlfriend threatens to take her own life every time you tell her you want to leave her, you should talk to a friend, your parents, or someone you trust.
- You can also call a switchboard such as Telefono Amico (199 284 284). It can help both you and the person threatening to commit suicide.
- Asking for help will make her understand that you take her threats seriously, even if you don't intend to give in to her requests.
Advice
Don't be afraid to put strange ideas in her head when talking about suicide. Having the courage to say this word will likely wake her up. Suicidal people generally feel invisible. Once you openly ask her if she is going to harm herself, she will realize that someone has listened to her and understood the gravity of the situation
Warnings
- If she is about to commit an extreme act, use whatever means necessary to stop her safely and call the emergency services. If it is not safe to do this (because he has a gun or is in a hard-to-reach location), don't come near but call the emergency services immediately.
- Don't lie to her or tell her that everything will be okay, or she'll think you don't understand her.
- Don't try to fix the problem yourself. Tell someone you trust so that this person can be helped more effectively. You don't have to do it all by yourself. Notifying other people is often a relief.
- If he tells you he wants to commit suicide, ask for help immediately, however much you invite yourself to keep the secret. Better to anger this relative or friend of yours than to risk losing him. Don't think he's looking for attention or in the mood to play a ghoulish joke.
- If the situation gets out of control, call emergency services immediately. Don't take suicide threats lightly.
